How should one detox from the red/blackpill when their surroundings constantly confirm them?

Quo_Usque · 2022-11-25T20:36:48+00:00

Did you ask your friends what their preferences are, or did you ask them if x trait was a dealbreaker for them? Just about everyone wants to date hot people, but it’s not necessarily top of the priorities list.

RedPillDetox · 2022-11-25T21:51:47+00:00

How can you tell the earth is round when your surroundings constantly reinforce it's flat?

Here's the thing people don't get. Red pill offers explanations. Those explanations make sense. But just because something makes sense doesn't mean it's true. It just means it's a well told story.

This is why i wrote that red pill is a reasoning based belief system and not an actual evidence based belief system. Explanations make a lot of sense but what about actual evidence? Evicence concerning TRP are usually just a handful of half assed media coverage of some out of context evo psychology study and internet terror stories about "my buddy jake who was tricked into raising a son that wasn't his" and that's about it.

Also, it doesn't help that a certain amount of truth is mixed together with TRP bulshit. Women liking muscular and tall men it's absolute common sense. There's nothing shocking about it. There's nothing wrong with it either. But under TRP theory, even the most random, neutral bits of common sense are catastrophized for whatever reason.

medlabunicorn · 2022-11-26T10:19:18+00:00

It’s funny, but I see the opposite: average to good-looking women with schlumps in hoodies and cargo shorts.

thegoldenharpy · 2022-11-25T20:36:54+00:00

This is so stupid. What are you hoping they're going to say? "Oh I like someone who's fat, non-athletic, and shorter than me." As if. And similarly, there are few straight men on earth that would describe their ideal woman as "fat, non-athletic and no boobs/ass". But most people (at least from my limited experience) love their partners for more than just their looks. And I know you will probably not give a damn about my opinion, but I like short, non-muscular guys. Hope this helps in any way at all.

Sad_Apple_1911 · 2022-11-26T12:35:45+00:00

I’m always sceptical of ”the guy was much hotter” claims. Somehow the manosphere sees it all the time, yet studies show most couples are matched. The manosphere has always been weirdly homoerotic so there is that…

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2022-11-26T13:03:57+00:00

You replied to one of the comments that you had two past relationships with women well out of your league who were clearly attracted to you. Doesn’t that contradict your post? Not trying to argue, just confused.

Naus1987 · 2022-11-25T23:17:53+00:00

I think that a lot of the stuff red pill says about a lot of women being shitty is true. And there’s enough evidence to prove it.

But the biggest problem is red pill neglects to show that men are equally as shitty.

People in general are shitty to each other. They’re dumb, they’re greedy, and they’re impulsive. People make bad life choices all the time!

And to top it off, there’s that fun quote, imagine how dumb the average person is, and recognize half the world is worse off than that guy.

Or go outside and watch people drive. Perfectly normal people being incredibly bad at driving. All the time. Everywhere.

Anyways, this isn’t all doom and gloom. For all the dumb people out there, there still are a lot of smart people. The secret is to be more selective with who you hang around. Raise your standards for who you hang with.

But be mindful that you may have flaws too. So either embrace your fellow flawed humans or rise above. And if you can rise above, then so can a woman. Find her, and marry her.

Academic_Type624 · 2022-11-26T15:56:30+00:00

So the okcupid survey leaves more questions than answers.

How many people were looking for hookups vs relationships in the data? What I might think pretty enough to shag could be very different to what I'd look for in a partner.

The things I want in a relationship is support, love, laughter and some shared interests. If I found a partner had those qualities, looks matter much less. There are certain deal breakers for me, such as poor hygiene or smokers, very much falling into the basic self care camp.

The redpill often seems to use data selectively and not ask questions that interrogate it further.

BloopBloope · 2022-11-25T21:10:56+00:00

You probably have very high standards for a woman's looks. 99.9999999999% of red pillers do. Can you think of any tv shows with a hot, muscular husband and a fat, ugly wife?

I can't either. But I can think of multiple with the opposite going on.

And the best lies sprinkle a bit of truth in to give the whole thing the patina of validity. Redpilles probably also put their pants on one leg at a time and chew their food before swallowing. Because they get some things right doesn't mean their philosophy is sound.

PsychologicalYam15 · 2022-11-26T10:12:29+00:00

Honesty time... I have lived in several different countries (originally from South East Asia) and I am no beauty myself. I have been lucky enough to see men from different races and cultures.

Here is the rub and the honest truth. Most men are...just physically unattractive for me. While most women I have seen, make up or no make up, all kinds of races and cultures...are physically attractive.

Not even talking about height, because first thing one's see is often someone's faces. Mens' faces (again, -for me-) are unfortunately just often...not captivating.

I am straight and only interested in anything intimate with men. I am happily married too. Just in case that you think that I probably have intimate interest with women. I don't. But it is what it is for me.

Is that a physical high standard? The saying is "tall, dark and handsome." I don't care about the first two, but I found only few men fulfill the last part.

goodboy92 · 2022-11-26T16:20:39+00:00

MMM.. I also was struck by this but I discovered something: Ok you must first meet the girl and be friends with her but the way you talk to her, if you want to escalate things even further, it has to be a talk from the heart, words that reach her emotions, don't go to confess your love for them in the spot but instead build that sentiment inside her.

You said that you are a nerd who went out but got not the results you were looking for, I say to you continue to go outside you damn nerd.

Perry-91 · 2022-12-13T11:59:28+00:00

I would actually say you have a healthy mindset.

You hear ideas of the red pill and you actually observe this with your own mind out in the world and can see it is true.

But you don't blindly follow it and extremely disagree with some points of it as well. As do I for example not letting your woman go on girls trips but you can go on lads trips all year. 🙄

Much like myself you are right in not subscribing to any specific ideology. All these content creators want to do is enslave your mind so that you keep making them money. It is no different to the MSM. Because it is different to the MSM it feels so good to where you believe it without question then you end up angry without realising it.

Keep questioning every single thing you read and are told from everywhere and continue to keep autonomy of your mind. 👍

penguintransformer · 2022-11-25T20:05:53+00:00

Go for women in your league. The ones that hangout at the library because no man wants to take them on a date. They might be super fat, have bad acne, and barely brush their hair, but maybe that's what you can get. Those women are not picky because they can't afford to be.

Hot Men don't like me because I don't look like an Instagram girl. So unless I decide to get a full body makeover, I go for guys in my range. My boyfriend is chubby, balding, and has teeth problems but I don't care. He's a way better person and character than a "hot wealthy" guy.

MavKM · 2022-11-26T09:16:36+00:00

The fact in life is, if you want people to like you you gotta improve. I can say from experience that I improved my appearance and more people wanted to be FRIENDS with me let alone girls. I don't know about all this red pill stuff but I can see that it partly has a good message. Hit the gym, take care of your hygiene, feed yourself with good nutritious food, and develop your personality and be a real man.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-11-26T14:50:06+00:00

The things that drove me most towards these beliefs are my past 2 relationships

People tend to have the same relationship problems over and over because of their behavior and the partners they choose. How are your two relationships representative of all the relationships on the planet?

many people say, is "going outside you fucking nerd". Well the fucking nerd went outside, in fact, I have quite a nice stroll through the city on my way to work.

You have to do activities outside the house consistently to see results, and it should be more than just walking around.

And what I saw on said stroll was above average to fairly attractive guys in relationships with below average to fairly attractive women, with the occasional highly attractive couple being together with eachother.

When I walk through my walmart the majority of couples are overweight and unattractive. People who take walks are more likely to be in shape and care about their looks.

The next thing they say is "talk to a woman you fucking nerd". Well, suprisingly enough, the fucking nerd has a lot of female friends.

Maybe you are being too platonic with women. Maybe you neglected your looks. Maybe you have social skills or mental health issues that makes you less appealing.

The words "taller" and some form of "muscular" kept echoing.

Wow women have physical preferences just like men do. Blowing my mind right now.

After talking to hundreds of people, a lot of those being outside of pill spaces with little to no knowledge about the pills?

There is a lot of truth to the pills but they are an exaggeration of reality. Reality is a mix of red, blue, and black pill. And it sounds like many of your conversations are in pill spaces so you are more likely to get those opinions.

How would one go about detoxing, when the universe keeps screaming at me that some parts of the pills ring true?

You have to critically evaluate your beliefs and understand your biases.

runmeupmate · 2022-11-26T23:24:21+00:00

The problem with red/blackpill or whatever is that it's essentially true. Nothing more to say really; you either have it or you don't.

Only advice really is to just keep lowering your standards until you hit gold. Or to wait until women start lowering their standards as they get older

Ok-Cry2907 · 2022-11-27T06:28:44+00:00

My beliefs are mostly red pill with some black pill. The way men who aren’t the most attractive get women by being the family members of or being associated with men who are well known or charismatic disproves the black pill. I’m just gonna say I’m having a hard time unplugging. Im seeing none of the ex redpill stuff on Reddit in my real life experiences. Everything I see is redpill and blackpill. EVERYTHING. The only way to fix this stuff and make the world better for men in the United States is to support legalization of prostitution at both the federal and state levels across all 50 states. That would bring more balance to the dating market and sexually liberate men. When you think about it. The zero tolerance policy for prostitution in 99% of America is kind of sinister. It has very evil effects on men. But I am not a misogynist, I don’t want to see anyone struggling in life, but this would have negative effects on a lot of women. A lot of womens lives would probably change overnight if this happened. But the end result would be fairness. But, the benefit for women is that if a man is taking a woman out or trying to convince her to to go on a date, it’s because he really likes her and he wants more than just sex, because he can easily buy the sexual services of a gorgeous woman but instead he’s there with her.

tawny-she-wolf · 2022-12-01T12:53:57+00:00

Is it maybe because there are traits that are generally considered attractive over others ?

I don’t know about % but I don’t see many men saying “I want a tall muscular woman” - beauty standards (societal) for women are generally petite and “soft” as in curvacious (actually curvy, not fat) or slim/fit in a way that is not too muscular.

In the same way, societal beauty standards for men is generally “tall and muscular”. If you show a picture of a famous actor who fits these standards to women, most of them would agree he is attractive (which does not mean they would have sex with him or date him).

There will definitely not be as many women who’d outright say “I’m totally into short, pot-belly dudes”. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t date such a man, if he has other qualities - it’s not necessarily a deal breaker.

Other factors that come into play:

how old are the women you interacted with ? Deal breakers and qualities one looks for in a partner can evolve over time
are we talking for a relationship or for casual sex ? Generally looks are more important for the latter and less for the former as long as there is some attraction there - attraction and beauty are both subjective, it really is in the eye of the beholder
this is similar to the issue with online dating, if you’re looking at people in the street all you see is their face. Someone less physically attractive may be a complete gem and become super attractive in the eyes of their partner and vice versa. A lot of incels are not physically ugly despite saying so, they have low self esteem and it’s their views/attitude that make them “ugly”

Keeshberger16 · 2022-12-02T02:08:18+00:00

There are ugly men with wives/girlfriends. Fat men, stupid men, hairy men, skinny men, short men, disabled men, bald men, men with autism, even men who literally don't have working dicks. If you can NEVER find anyone to date or have a relationship with, the problem is your personality. Get some therapy and figure out what it is in your approach to women that is not working. There are people attracted to all sorts of physical traits, even ones most people find unattractive. Work on what you can control--your behavior, approach, body language, interactions, etc. If you focus on looks and "Decide" you're not being liked because you're ugly you're just going to spiral. It may sound worse to hear "it's actually your personality, you're not actually ugly", but we as people evolve and change, and need to grow and learn how we are making mistakes and how to correct them.

2023-01-12T23:51:57+00:00

I find it best to be productive in some manner, it can be simply cleaning your place, going grocery shopping, getting a haircut or anything that needs doing.

This will give you a level of anxiety relief and make you feel better about yourself, make sure when you go put look your best, maybe if you are getting a haircut just get that first and then go out and do other things you need to.

Eat healthier, your body will generally feel better. You have to find a way to eat healthy that isn't necessarily torment. I for one eat things I like and are healthy and try to stay away from junk foods.

Once you get your body and task at their relative best (just doing something is enough to be your current best).

Now you have to realize it's important to not consume too much media particularly redpill. You want to use less sexually dynamic focused content. A lot of red pill stuff is basically an echo. Once you heard a few videos you learn the gist of them all.

You also need to consider your friend group. Being around downers all day (yourself included) is extremely draining and makes you pessimistic, this includes social media and general media. You are what you eat.

A lot of people who go into the red pill go due to feeling hurt or disgusted with the dating world maybe because you got cheated on, can't seem to find a woman worth her salt at an acceptable rate, maybe you never had sex and are just jealous other dudes seem "better" because you have wasted your time jerking off too much and never doing the things you say you want to do. I have been there sometimes I go to the gym and think he'll man, if I had just been consistent I wouldn't be out of shape ever maybe even a bit buff.

Work a lot, pay off debts and avoid them like the plague (a house or much needed car is different but be reasonable).

I would say just keep yourself managed, not necessarily busy all the time but keep a general schedule and build your life around it. I take showers at the gym so I basically say, "ima work out for at least 30 minutes", and I do, I enjoy it because it's not the usual 1 to 2 hour hard sessions I'm use to, I'm doing just enough to feel it but avoiding exhaustion and potential injury as much as possible and it's way easier. I also eat the same things (it's balanced nutritionally though) with a few ingredients switched up like instead if Swiss cheese I'll have cheddar with my chicken wrap. Small things create navalty and make things enjoyable little by little. When some mundane elements of life became predictable, life seems to be better.

Title	How should one detox from the red/blackpill when their surroundings constantly confirm them?
Author	None0fYour8usiness
Upvotes	9
Comments	132
Date	November 25, 2022 7:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/z4mgup/how_should_one_detox_from_the_redblackpill_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-should-one-detox-from-the-redblackpill-when.1141888 https://theredarchive.com/post/1141888

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