Q4W: What do you think of having a phone call as a first date?

wtknight · 2022-12-17T14:24:59+00:00

OP, please make a small edit to your post in order to bring up the AutoModerator.

gobblegoobleoneofus · 2022-12-17T12:28:30+00:00

That isn't a date.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-12-17T12:42:25+00:00

That’s not a date…

RinoaRita · 2022-12-17T12:30:42+00:00

I mean I’d be happy to have one before a date to see if a date would be worth it. I guess we can argue semantics of what counts.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-12-17T13:00:27+00:00

somewhere between B and C. i don’t need a fancy date or anything, but i do need something in person

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-12-17T15:33:01+00:00

That isn’t a date. I wouldn’t be opposed to talking to someone on the phone before the date, but it’s simply not a date.

gobblegoobleoneofus · 2022-12-17T12:36:30+00:00

D. I wouldn't have been against it but my first experience of it turned out so weird and uncomfortable that it just really put me off. I think it actually sounds like a good way for both people to see if there's any spark but I just have that reluctance towards it now.

I don't think the call had anything to do with it but this guy became extremely obsessed before we even met and then on the call made a lot of awkward racial jokes which are not the way to my heart.

2022-12-17T13:16:50+00:00

I think getting to know someone too much prior to meeting someone is a bad idea.

I think the best way to online date is to see them in person as soon as possible, and not invest too much hope or energy.

If you gel, then have at it. If you don't, it's not a big loss.

CimZim · 2022-12-17T14:51:00+00:00

This isn't a date. It's a pre-date. I've done these before. They're good for getting to know a guy prior to spending money on him/myself and see if there's anything we don't agree on ahead of time.

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2022-12-17T13:28:18+00:00

I would not mind it, especially if two people are living with a little distance in between them. I also liked voice messages just to get a vibe. But if they live close by and they won't take time for a quick coffee with me I might be a little doubtful they would have time for a relationship (or wonder how many women they are dating, and that's kind of a turn off)

AutoModerator · 2022-12-17T12:25:29+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

FairyMachine · 2022-12-17T13:33:06+00:00

C.

A phone call isn't a date.

gobblegoobleoneofus · 2022-12-17T13:34:42+00:00

When my husband and I started dating, we talked on the phone a lot. He’d call me on his way home from work or school and I’d call him on my way home from school.

But if we talked on the phone instead of spending time together in person.. I wouldn’t have really liked that? What’s the point of being in a relationship with someone feels long distance.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-12-17T14:39:46+00:00

D. There is very little I can get from a phone call that I can’t get through chatting on a dating site or social media. In fact women can usually find more information to help them decide if a man is a good potential partner on their dating app bio, social media and through PMs than a phone call will give. If your online presence is good then a first date/meet up is the next step then if the first date goes well we can exchange numbers. It’s much safer for a woman to accept a friend request from a man on social media and check him out that way rather than trusting him with her phone number when he is still a total stranger.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-12-17T16:32:05+00:00

I prefer to meet people to ask out in person, so having a call would be weird and wouldn't really apply. Getting to know someone over messages and calls is awkward and hard as fuck so I'd rather get to be in person as soon as possible if I met them elsewhere for some reason. We don't need to do anything special, put in extra effort other than travel or even call it a date, but actually meeting up is going to be way better and save a lot of time.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2022-12-17T20:18:07+00:00

I did it a few times for covid reasons and like once before that because the guy requested it. I'm not a fan and would not do it again if I were single. I guess B? I don't think it's totally stupid, just not for me.

Honestly I never cared for a ton of pre-date communication when I was online dating. I never wanted to spend days texting or anything like that. If it went well I'd get psyched up for the actual date in a way that set me up to get let down, but more often I just got kinda bored by it. My MO was to make plans for a date after only a few exchanges on the apps, which a lot of my dates told me they appreciated.

calfshrug · 2022-12-17T20:21:22+00:00

Majorly overthinking it. If she is attracted enough, it won’t matter. I had a girl who was the most blunt about wanting sex also ask to FT me the day befor we met. She was obviously already down! But most women are lukewarm, because their options are x1000 or x10,000, but usually I think she would be very clearly tense or disengaged if she isn’t interested, so just look out for those signs

pinktuliplover · 2022-12-17T22:01:37+00:00

C. This is pure foolishness

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-12-17T23:08:20+00:00

Video call? Sure

Edit: I agree, not a date, though

2022-12-18T00:32:17+00:00

C. I hate phone calls. I won't even make them unless it's the 100% the only way to accomplish something. I legit drove to two different fedexs to get a package situation sorted our vs calling them. People who like phone calls are either old or crazy to me. Irl is way better or even video chat, though I hate video chat too.

I have an insane hatred for phone calls; if a guy suggested this I would unmatch immediately as he's not for me.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2022-12-18T06:14:55+00:00

If we’re calling it a pre-date, A. However, I don’t consider that a date; I prefer a quick call or two to get a general idea of compatibility but it’s not a safe

lle-ell · 2022-12-18T12:38:36+00:00

My current boyfriend and I talked on the phone multiple times before we met up. It was awesome. Would recommend.

Title	Q4W: What do you think of having a phone call as a first date?
Author	gobblegoobleoneofus
Upvotes	1
Comments	42
Date	December 17, 2022 12:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zo597e/q4w_what_do_you_think_of_having_a_phone_call_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-do-you-think-of-having-a-phone-call-as-a.1143574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143574

Comments