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Long story short, I was "seeing" someone for two and a half months (we'll call her Lady A). We were not "exclusive" but we were hanging out regularly. On the tail end of that, I was contacted by a woman I had gone out with for a short while last year (Lady B).

Lady B and I would text back and forth, and our conversations consisted solely of, "Hey let's grab a drink and catch up" and then one of us canceled on the other. Lady B then posted me on a "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" Facebook group with a photo of me and a caption that read "Any *tea* on [my name]".

I proceed to get a call from Lady A asking me of I am dating anyone else, because one of her friends saw me on this Facebook group. I said "No, I am not," which was absolutely true. We talk for a few more minutes and the phone call ends peacefully.

30 minutes later I get another call from Lady A who is furious. She sends me a screenshot of my messages with Lady B, which consist of exactly what I mentioned previously.

Next day, I wake up with "TOY" spray painted on my car. Lady A has an ex who was very involved in the graffiti scene of Minneapolis, and I'm certain he had a hand in this.

These Facebook groups may have a purpose in stopping violence against women, but they are also a cess pool of gossiping, doxxing, slandering, and the undoubted encouraging of psychotic behavior.

Am I absolutely in the right here? No. Did I deserve to have my car spray painted? Absolutely not. Are these Facebook groups beneficial in some ways (like exposing men who are physically and sexually aggressive)? Sure. Are these Facebook groups headed in a dangerous direction? Yes.

If anything, I'm glad Lady A did this otherwise I'd be deep in a commitment with a psycho. Bullet dodged.

If I did this, I would certainly be considered a dangerous, obsessive, stalker. It's so funny to think that if these groups existed for women, they would instantly receive the stigma of slutshaming.