Relationships and value exchange

volleyballbeach · 2023-02-06T06:30:35+00:00

No gender owns the sex. It’s is a mutual thing between consenting adults. People of all genders face rejection.
Do you mean how the physical act looks to a fly on the wall? I have never thought of sex as a power struggle.
Huh?

begayallday · 2023-02-06T12:11:04+00:00

I think your first mistake is in approaching it as a transactional relationship. The most healthy relationships are between two people who would do anything to keep their partner happy. It has to be mutual. If it’s not then there is either an imbalance of power or just a power struggle. Neither of those is good. If you keep score and resent doing nice things for your partner, then you are part of the problem.

EulenWatcher · 2023-02-06T06:25:13+00:00

Neither party “owns” sex. They own their bodies. Men generally seek more sex than women, so that’s why we usually see men buying it and not vice versa. In casual and long-term dating sex is ideally (and often) not something you buy or sell.
Depends on a couple. I don’t believe it has to be a power struggle, but people tied so many connotation to it that it often is.
As much as you personally are comfortable with it and as much as a person you’d want to date is comfortable with it.

Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2023-02-06T09:08:11+00:00

Who Owns The Sex? Women owned the sex in the past in exchange for protection, that seems pretty clear. Now that women are educated and salaried, they don't really need protection as much (unless maybe pregnant? feeble?) so I am confused. There are Stay At Home Dads now, Cougars...I am just confused and before you say 'it depends on what you want' -> I am not looking for my specific case, I am looking for a general Societal Consensus on what is going on

It's not, that's just a post factum interpretation of traditional gender roles through the eyes of middle class gen xrs. But anyway - mechanically - it's the person that wants it less. Individually - get swol, get drained on the regular and you won't have to worry about "property rights" of sex.

Does Sex look like a power struggle? Do we or did most of us view it this way? Or is this some kind of deep-seated childhood trauma and attachment issue? Or does the STUGGLE have to HAVE TO be real to ignite desire? I know these questions are longwinded and complicated and I am sorry, but I am confused

I think it's a good reconnection to our primal selves. But it's pretty rare in men as I understand it. And no, it's not about power, it's about abandonment of self and letting your inner animal have a romp. Just so happens that animals interact in less egalitarian ways - and that looks like a game of power to our superior human interpretations.

On the trauma side, I think when you have sex you inadvertently are more open, more vulnerable and those some trauma responses and processes might feel more raw. But honestly I think this is overplayed. I know bat shit crazy people and they are all super chill after sex.

One part of me believes 'I have value: Sell' and the other part of me says 'Nothing has value: Give' and another part says 'Nothing will ever be enough: Never Sell' and yet another part 'No one will ever be enough: Never Give' but I think a main point here is that Charity comes into the equation. And it is that Charity of 'Give' that makes it Romance...in my opinion. I think that has been beaten into a lot of our heads though too, regardless of sex: that Romance is not about the money: it is about the Person. So my question is How much money is fair to involve in Romance? I don't even think that's the correct question to be honest but it's close and right now as close as it gets

Mate, your writing is all over the place and that comes from another "stream of consciousness" writer.

None. Romance is teenage infatuation painted on adult lives. Teenagers don't have money or worries about money. Read Pride and Prejudice - the most red pill book ever written.

MarBitt · 2023-02-06T09:33:21+00:00

Who Owns The Sex?

Both. A man owns his sex. A woman owns her sex.

Does Sex look like a power struggle?

Sex looks like communication. Ideally, love is communicated through it and is therefore an expression of love. Sexual communication can be flavored with power play. Some people love this flavor.

How much money is fair to involve in Romance?

There is no fairness in relationships. There are just things they both agree on and that work and things they disagree on and that don't work. You invest as much money in romance as you see fit. You can make money from your own romance. Or you can sacrifice all your possessions and life for romance. A purely personal decision.

blueshinx · 2023-02-06T10:32:53+00:00

Your first point is based on a wrong assumption. Women are more selective regarding sex because they invest more energy into reproduction

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TheRedPillRipper · 2023-02-06T12:17:34+00:00

a general Societal Consensus

Here it is; if you’re a high enough valued man, you’ll have options. Of women who’ll gladly exchange ‘their sex’; for ‘your value.’ Take your example of an educated, salaried woman. Would she gladly ‘exchange’ sex, with a dish pig? Or the owner? The only consensus for men, is how valuable you are.

ignite desire

No. Attraction has a minimal threshold. You’re either attractive enough, or not. Once met however, desire does take work. Especially in LTR’s, and marriage.

How much money is fair to involve in Romance?

The question you’re looking for is; how much does intimacy cost? Sure you could put a dollar figure on it, but the real cost is time. How much time does it cost? To romance a person? To create, build, and maintain intimacy? I measure it daily.

Godspeed and good luck!

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-02-06T17:27:15+00:00

*Who Owns The Sex?* - nobody owns ''the sex''. Sex is an activity both people should want to participate in. You own your own body and you choose what to do with it. You and your partner should be on the same page about how often you have sex and what sexual acts you're both okay with.
*Does Sex look like a power struggle?* - if you're in an unhealthy relationship, it can be. Ideally, it should be communication and both people should aim to please not just themselves, but their partner as well.
*How much money is fair to involve in Romance?* - I think it depends on the stage of the relationship. Don't spend too much or give money to someone you just met or just started dating. If you're more serious and you've moved in together, then you need to figure out how you split rent/bills. If you get married you have to figure out how you pay rent/the mortgage, the bills, if you have separate accounts or a joint one, etc.

Those are my views on what a healthy relationship should be, but you mentioned TRP and sugar babies, which I think have different dynamics. TRP dudes strike me as more traditional and see their role as a man as the more dominant person in the relationship. Personally, that's not my thing and I don't see that as healthy, but if a guy can find a partner that meets his standards and they feel the same way about relationships as them, who am I to say it isn't good for them specifically? As for sugar babies, that's a purely transactional relationship - she gives you companionship and sex, and you give her money/pay her rent/buy her gifts. Not that this is inherently bad or anything, if two adults decide this works for them, cool.

wtknight · 2023-02-06T19:04:48+00:00

Who Owns The Sex?

Nobody owns sex, but the idea is that men usually want sex more often and almost always are willing to have sex with more different women than women are with different men.

Does Sex look like a power struggle?

It’s a competition among men. Men who frame women as being the problem either don’t understand biology or are choosing to ignore biologic facts because of their frustration.

How much money is fair to involve in Romance?

Love is important, but the evolutionary reality that women usually want a man who will help ensure her hypothetical children’s survival means that money, or at least ambition, becomes important to women when it comes to relationships. Even if a woman can earn money herself, money from a partner means that her hypothetical offspring will have an even better life and upbringing.

Some women will seriously date a “fun but poor” guy, like a struggling artist or musician, but this kind of thing is rare and usually done when a woman is still young.

BensonInFL · 2023-02-06T08:05:42+00:00

> *Who Owns The Sex?*

Women own sex, men own relationships. That's how it was before, that's how it is now. Cougars and Stay at home dads are a very small minority and aren't taken into account on the bell curve.

> And it is that Charity of 'Give' that makes it Romance.

Excluding prostitutes and sugar babies, you cannot buy a woman's affection. Contrary to pop culture, buying gifts or favors for a woman will NOT increase her attraction to you. In fact it is the opposite, overly romantic gestures make women uncomfortable because it makes them feel like you are doing this to get sex in return...its like you want them to owe you something.

One of the best measures of women's attractiveness to you, is what THEY are willing to do for you. Getting them to comply with bigger and bigger requests seems to drive their desire for you. Crazy right? I know, but it works, trust me :) .

-B

gate18 · 2023-02-06T11:51:54+00:00

Women owned the sex in the past in exchange for protection

They didn't. They were forced to marry. If you don't think so, read about how unmarried women would be shamed. And after marriage, they couldn't say that their husbands raped them. So men owned women.

Note, even back then, women could have went to school, universities and have jobs, and live alone, but they weren't allowed. Women haven't evolved, in 1700s or 1800s or 1900s or in the 40s, 50s, 60s, women weren't weaker nor stupider than now, they were simply not allowed to take care of themselves, and they weren't allowed to refuse marriage or sex.

Now, people own their bodies (mostly) so if I, man or woman, do not want to have sex, I should have to have sex.

I do think sex can be a power struggle. Depending on the relationship

third question doesn't make sense to me. Charity is charity, money is money, sex is sex. Unless you are a sex worker those are different things.

Of course, if a person wants money/goods in exchange for sex, you do whatever you like.

If a hot woman wants me to take care of her in exchange for sex, I'm not going to follow your rules. I'm going to agree or disagree with the arrangement depending on what I want. And if I do agree and I do not get sex, I'd simply break the agreement.

Calling her a golddigger or a gold-hearted doesn't make any difference, we are adults, we know what we are getting into.

Title	Relationships and value exchange
Author	Ok-Supermarket-6747
Upvotes	4
Comments	64
Date	February 6, 2023 5:58 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10uz6wj/relationships_and_value_exchange/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/relationships-and-value-exchange.1151783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151783

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