Have any of you guys seriously considered suicide after your wife left you ?

liquidtrend · 2019-01-28T23:33:01+00:00

Yes. I have. I was even more compelled to go through with it when I found out my child who I've raised for 8 years wasn't mine.

So I did what I had to do.. I called a friend. I shared my thoughts with family. I met with a therapist and a psychologist and got help.

Never think it's okay to keep that shit bottled up. Always go get help.

STG210 · 2019-01-29T02:08:43+00:00

Yes.

I actually had a 12 gauge loaded and ready for a trigger pull. Something stopped me and I posted my despair on /r/Army. The group there convinced me to call a veterans crisis line. That’s the only reason I’m still here today.

JohnnyMnemo · 2019-01-28T23:36:50+00:00

For sure. You know that your life is going to change in a relatively unpredicted way, and change is very scary and hard. It can easily feel like you're not up to the task.

But then you remember to put one foot in front of the other, and accept the new reality bit by bit. You throw away your old playbook and start over from scratch, just like you did when you were younger.

And when you realize that, you realize that Divorce is an opportunity to remake your dreams, but this still with more knowledge and context.

toldosay · 2019-01-29T00:09:04+00:00

It did come up and still does at times. I hope you process it in a healthy manner and realize that life will not always be this way. I too am experiencing the barren, lonely life after divorce. It’ll get better friend.

nakedskier · 2019-01-28T23:55:49+00:00

I have multiple times.

I’m in a city where I don’t really have a friend/family support network (only one good friend is here In town).

I noticed that I think about suicide mostly when I’m alone in the apartment that I used to share with my STBX. I also lost my job so I don’t even have that to distract me. So mid-day, sitting at home trying to put my life together, and when that one friend is working, is when I was thinking about suicide the most.

What has helped is keeping myself distracted. I have had to make a very concerted effort not to spend a lot of time in the empty apartment and try to stay busy.

I do realize that exercise helps but sometimes I’m really struggling to find the motivation. But when I do go exercise and I do come home, I do feel better.

misdreavus79 · 2019-01-28T23:37:40+00:00

I haven't, but I could see why someone would.

bobbyb503 · 2019-01-29T03:44:41+00:00

Yes, actually slit my wrists after she told me. It’s a cry for help. Men are not taught how to deal with pain. Actually fucked me. She got a restraining order after that. Supervised visits with my kids. It was brutal.

Years to get more rights. I’m still depressed, but currently medicate. My old boss killed himself last September, Great guy, divorced as well, had just remarried, just had a kid. He was having problems at work and was let go. Killed him self within days. I sat two cubes from him.

It hit hard, i was getting hit with financial shit. I started to spiral. Used my works EAP, doc put me on meds.

I think the divorce turned me into an asshole. I put up with less shit. I can’t consider suicide, due to my kids. But honestly, I am pretty tucked up.

don’t do it; ask for help. It’s a selfish act. Things are less painful or even important as time passes. Treat yourself right. Be honest. Hell, this post helps me. I was afraid of my own shadow before and was vilified by my ex and her family. I felt like everyone knew I was a monster.

I actually have more self pride and my career is taking off. Kids are doing great. I do better the less I worry about myself. And I don’t put up with or take any shit. ;)

JasonToo · 2019-01-29T08:40:37+00:00

Yup.

First thing I did was sell all of my firearms.

Trytosurvive · 2019-01-29T02:59:10+00:00

Yes - I think if it wasn’t for my young daughter I would have checked out a long time ago - therapy didn’t really help as talking and putting positive spin isn’t going to get me to see daughter every day, chronic illness to go, not be lonely. Fix money issues and at get my wife and life back etc . Also two close friends helped pull me out of the darkness though I still fall into the abyss now and again

Beastmodexxlsixty9 · 2019-01-29T03:31:37+00:00

My ex left and took our two baby boys ten years ago. I was at work for 12 hours and when I got home she had Clea Ed out our entire house.

I tried for almost a year to win her back but to no avail. I wasnt suicidal over her, but over not having my kids. I did attempt twice.

Fast forward to today and I'm so much happier than I was with her. I never would have believed I could ever get to where I am today. It is true that things do get better. You just have to take it one day at a time. Keep yourself busy. Talk to someone, anyone about what your feeling. Exercise helps boost your mood even when we don't feel up to it.

If there are kids you have to remember that they are hurting too so try and be there for them as much as possible.

Time is not only a healer but it is also a teacher. I now know that noone and nothing is worth taking my life over.

warrior_up · 2019-01-29T14:50:36+00:00

It’s intense man. There was and still are some very dark days/times....drank, still dinking way too much.

Divorce is evil and if you allow it too define you, it will change how you view people and the world. Mind game from hell, I find it interesting that us men have a harder time putting our emotions aside and thinking logically about the situation. Mind game from hell

Just gotta keep fighting, don’t isolate yourself - keep reminding yourself that this is just a moment in time, and even though you can’t see it now your future is bright

danielsadicario · 2019-01-29T15:17:36+00:00

I did consider, but I got help. And, to be honest, from the comments you've left here, it sounds like you're really close to the edge. If therapy is not helping enough, I'd definitely consider medication. Anti-depressants are great! They work. Please try everything, keep fighting.

ImagineIvysaur · 2019-02-01T08:39:05+00:00

I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of there right now. My wife literally told me out of no where that she doesn’t love me any more, we’re separated at the moment, I’m just waiting for her to file for divorce, and yeah every single day is a constant struggle to keep myself together.

chimera1337 · 2019-01-29T14:22:47+00:00

Yes. Family and friends stepped in to help. I also spoke with a behavioral therapist which helped. Also, on Zoloft but I'd recommend something more natural to help with anxiety and depression.

On a lighter side of things. The other day my fortune cookie read: Your difficult path will be rewarding.

I really feel like panda express gets me now.

Shep432 · 2019-01-30T12:51:32+00:00

Very seriously considered it reached out to the Dridi line and spent about 8 hours there. I was released and have been on some anti-depressants they say it takes about a month or so to kick in but I don’t feel any changes yet. I still have suicidal thoughts often but don’t think I will act on them. Trying so hard to be patient and positive but it is a daily struggle for sure. People say take it a day at a time, I am tasking in minute by minute....hardest thing I’ve ever went through in my whole life.

toldosay · 2019-02-01T13:13:31+00:00

I don't know what to say, except that if you want to chat you can pm whenever youbwant

Gibits · 2019-02-01T23:23:58+00:00

No but I did consider suicide at the idea of staying with my ex wife. Only thing that stopped me were my kids.

fwoomer · 2019-02-02T14:00:26+00:00

Yes. The living hell for me after 13 years is a catch-22. I’ve considered ending it all over losing everything, especially my kids. But I can’t because although I hardly get to see my kids (twice/year), I think of them and know they need me.

burneraccount189 · 2019-02-09T05:17:22+00:00

yes.

Title	Have any of you guys seriously considered suicide after your wife left you ?
Author	toldosay
Upvotes	14
Comments	42
Date	January 28, 2019 11:27 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/aktlfj/have_any_of_you_guys_seriously_considered_suicide/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/have-any-of-you-guys-seriously-considered-suicide.1182083 https://theredarchive.com/post/1182083

Comments