Years ago, I suffered through a traumatic divorce. I was raked over the coals for alimony, child support, had false accusations thrown at me by my ex-wife; the classic divorce story. Faced with losing custody of my own child, I frantically searched for answers which lead to my discovery of the MRA movement. I learned that there are thousands of men who face the same uphill battle every year - not only in the US, but all over the world. I remember crying my heart out in my lawyer's office and asking him why this was happening to me. His simply said, "You're the victim of a poorly run society". Those words continue to haunt me to this day, and that is what lead me to advocate for men's rights.

I occasionally check up on /r/MRA and several other subs, but I am often disgusted by the vocal minority of women-haters who feel that this is a place for people like them. I want to make something clear: MRA is not about hating women, and if you do, then you are NOT a welcome part of this movement. Many women support our cause, and that number is growing every day - as it should.

Many of us have wives, girlfriends, and active dating lives. We also have women in our families who we want to have the best lives possible. They are more than our loved ones - they are our allies. Yes, of course, there are many feminazi's who hate men, but they are as much of an exception to women as the neckbeards are to MRA.

If we are going to truly make the world a better place for men and boys, then we need to go mainstream. That will absolutely not happen if we allow the women bashing to continue. Calling women whores, gold-diggers, welfare queens, or otherwise demonizing them is not helping anybody. Further, it alienates women who would otherwise be potential allies, and gives the feminazis ammo to point at us and say "SEEEEE?? WE TOLD YOU THEY'RE MISOGYNISTS!!! REEEEEE".

I challenge this sub...

- To call out the hateful comments

- Approach emotional people (even feminists) with compassion and reason

- To correct people who assume that MRA is anti-women

- To show that equality for men will help women too

- To not force your views on others

If we allow the hate to grow right under our noses, then we are only undermining our own efforts. Don't believe me? Then look at modern feminism. They never kicked out the feminazis, and now those slobs have become the mouthpiece of the feminist movement. If we don't become more palatable to mainstream voters and academics, then we will continue to be the victims of a poorly run society.

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EDIT: I suppose this thread has run its course. I appreciate those who came forward whether openly or via my inbox to express your support. It's a great feeling that so many of you share my thoughts about the flaws of our movement. I wish more of you felt it was acceptable to voice your opinions in the comment section, but your fear of reprisal speaks volumes about this sub.

Before leaving, I just wanted to clarify a few things. First, incel is was not meant as a derogatory term; it's literally the name of the group I was addressing. They chose that name for their own subreddit. Second, I am disheartened by the defeatist attitude I've seen when having honest conversations with many of you. I fully realize the odds stacked against us, and that we have a very uphill battle ahead of us.

With that said, I will be parting ways with this sub. Not because of the hostility or differing opinions, but because most of you think there is no hope of a better future for men and boys. If you believe that we will never be accepted as a mainstream movement, or if you are afraid to sacrifice for this cause, then you have already lost. I can ignore your hostility and I welcome differing opinions, but I can't tolerate a losing attitude, so I'll be continuing the fight for men's rights on my own path.

If anyone is willing to have a respectful and honest discussion then feel free to send a pm.