Yo, I think we should stop thinking speaking, breathing and having sex.

Maude2010 · 2021-02-06T19:06:19+00:00

I haven’t had sex in a year and it’s fine. Occasionally I think about it, but then I’m just like...meh.

I went on a couple of first dates in the past year and they were pleasant I guess, but then the guys hound me to get together again with all their “hey beautiful” and “when am I going to see your gorgeous face again” texts and I just get annoyed and tell them to leave me alone.

I guess my life is a bit boring right now. I work, I go on walks with my dog, I watch movies, I talk to my family on the phone. But I feel perfectly content. The things I miss are going to the gym and traveling. Nothing that I hope will change in a post-Covid life has anything to do with sex or men.

Maude2010 · 2021-02-06T17:52:41+00:00

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spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-06T17:55:31+00:00

I don’t have sexual feelings towards men anymore. I used to, but dating them just ruined it. I don’t feel the need to date and have sex with them. I just want to have a good career, be with family, and live my life alone without them bothering me. They never treated me with kindness, and I have accepted that I will never find a man that will be a good man and treat me with respect and kindness. It’s so hard to have a fulfilling life and be happy these days and men just add more hurdles and burdens to an already difficult life

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-02-06T18:07:10+00:00

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level_up_always · 2021-02-06T17:18:22+00:00

we definitely need to have a sex strike. it's the most powerful tool we have.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata

nebsemi · 2021-02-06T14:55:51+00:00

I'm on the asexual spectrum (I don't feel the need to have sex with someone and was never attracted sexually to anyone). But if I ever decide to date or enter a relationship, it's going to be with an asexual man. They're rare, though :(

advice1988 · 2021-02-06T16:48:28+00:00

I don’t plan on having sex with anyone I’m not engaged/ married to and it’s not a hardship for me as I’ve done it for the past 32 years.

I live alone & have a successful career & fulfilling life. I’ve been working from home for the past 6 months and the only time I go out is for a walk or to the store. None of my friends live by me or my family, don’t have a social bubble I can safely interact with. Work friends have families and I can trust them but I don’t know their kids / partners / bf & gf well enough to say they are properly social distancing or sticking to the rules. I’ve literally spent 6 months on my own with no interaction or touch. I’ve been alone for longer and would see friends & my sister a couple of times a year.

It honestly doesn’t bother me and have never been one to worry about society or expectations. If I wanted to have sex, it seriously wouldn’t take me any effort. I’ve been told by many people ‘can’t believe your single!! Your so pretty and smart, it’s almost a waste’ and it doesn’t bother me, I’m smart enough and pretty enough for myself to do anything, out of a sense of embarrassment, pressure or loneliness. I talk to my friends and my sister regularly and have hobbies and courses I’m too busy with to feel any of that for.

I’ve been on dates with men and if have found them to be lacking what I’m looking for, I don’t waste their or my time and just say thanks no thanks.

My sister was the same until she met her husband and he had no problem with him being her first lover/ bf / finance / husband at 28 and they’ve been together for 5 years.

The pandemic has really shown me how much some people can’t stand to be alone, they think it’s a reflection on their worth as a human being or time is running out mentality or miss attention tbh. Dating apps for the next two years will be full of thirsty people who will take advantage of the people who can’t stand to be alone or in a rush to meet ‘the one’ so it’s cool I’ll wait to meet someone and not force it or feel forced

Edit: I should add, I was lucky for an early education via my family on how family honour/cultural shame/ societal pressure / hidden misogyny / pandering and self made circumstances out of not wanting to be alone leaves you a stranger to yourself..

A lot of my female family members have been and are in terrible partnerships , have had their potential wasted , dreams crushed and left deprecated by people who don’t care for them all so they can say they have been ‘married at least unlike you’

if that’s the only thing you can claim, I don’t want it. I’ve been called a spinster by them and have been called a ‘working woman’ & stuck up by my own mother with scorn for not following the generational plan : curse of allowing them to peer pressure my sister and I into dating & marrying who they want and to be baby machines so they can look good in the eyes of people in our community and if I can get through that and come out paying my own bills, being fit and healthy and working on myself constantly. Why would I be vexed by anything a man not good enough thinks about me.

pinkgirly111 · 2021-02-06T15:51:59+00:00

people never change bc someone tells them to change. Especially men, especially if' it's a woman telling them.

it's all about the action. withhold, don't engage, don't put out, don't reward.

honeybeeroll · 2021-02-06T22:51:15+00:00

You are 200% right that the only way for a straight woman to go about men is to not want anything to do with men (romantically, at the very least). Pursue your career, your talents, adopt or do IVF if you want a family. If the right man is out there, he will see you and he'll prove himself if you make him. But he may not be out there, and even if he is, there is no reason to put your life on hold for him. Live it. You don't know how long its going to last, so fucking do what YOU want.

I lost all desire to date like a year ago and it's one of the best thing that ever happened to me lol. I don't believe there's a HVM out there for me and its not a sad realization at all. Its made me feel determined to prove to myself I can do life alone. I used to rely on others waaaaay too much. I have a GREAT support system, but the more things I can handle solo, the more accomplished I'll feel. My hope is that all women who struggle with dating/wanting a man will realize what I and many on FDS have realized, but w/o hitting rock bottom first.

2021-02-07T15:44:11+00:00

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2021-02-07T09:19:57+00:00

I agree with you and still disagree with you and I'll explain why.

Sex is not "not that special" and defining it like this is dangerous and gives ammo to scrotes. Sex is, by far, the MOST intimate act you can share with someone, it IS a big deal, it is special, which is exactly why we need to be picky as fucking hell if we want to experience it like it's supposed to be experienced.

This is where your theory gets truly powerful. Men's sexuality is incredibly impulsive while women aren't as easily tempted on average. Which is exactly why a global sex strike would be so effective.

Women like many here, who make an informed choice (it being "sex is supposed to be a great experience, and men won't be bothered to offer it to me, guess I'll live a great life without them) are truly empowered. Knowing the whole story, knowing something's value and choosing what fits your idea of life.

An analogy that i can see fitting is in the childfree community. Many women and men there unfortunately view childbirth as a "mere event that women have been experiencing since the dawn of time" and use this as leverage to feel progressive and superior to parents. It wasn't until fds that I realized the power of my own choice when it comes to a childfree life.

Childbirth is the most amazing thing a body can do, because denying that generating a person is not an amazing act doesn't help anybody. However, because of the risks, costs, difficulties ecc.. Of this act, I choose to be childfree because my knowledge on the female body and childbirth is good enough for me to make the INFORMED choice to not be a mother.

Back on topic Note: the choice of having sex or not having sex don't change our value, just like a childfree woman isn't better or worse than a mother.

Don't fall into the trap of viewing some things as worthless because they aren't. See yourself as a person who is making an informed, powerful choice instead.

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Title	Yo, I think we should stop thinking speaking, breathing and having sex.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	315
Comments	50
Date	February 6, 2021 2:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ldyzpk/yo_i_think_we_should_stop_thinking_speaking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yo-i-think-we-should-stop-thinking-speaking.1192868 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192868

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