I have been thinking back to my younger years, and it is interesting how much I cared about protecting myself from certain people.
When I was in 5th grade, I was bullied very badly. The next year was middle school, with kids from all different schools, and I was terrified if it is continuing. One thing I always told myself, was that if I gave someone an inch, they would take a mile. As soon as they saw me as a potential victim, I was done for. So, for example, I remember in computer class one day, this kid picked up my purse and make some comment about it having all my makeup because I was ugly. I freaked out, just imagining his bullying getting worse and worse, other kids joining in, that I got my seat changed immediately by going to the guidance counselor.
On the contrary, a lot of women will see red flags or experience negging by their date, or him ignoring their boundaries, and they do not seem to freak out over it becoming an abusive situation. They feel if they are to cease contact with him, they could be missing out on a great person. For me, it was one comment, and I was out of there. I had no interest in seeing whether it continued or got worst. Or that maybe he was just making a joke, and he could become a great friend. I was not taking that risk.
I almost feel like kids have less tolerance for a lot of stuff. Like if someone made a rude or sarcastic comment to me, I would be plotting revenge fantasies in my head, and these comments were not even as bad as what adults put up with. One time, this girl in my girl scout troop said sarcastically to me, “You can go shopping!” I never liked her, but that comment pissed me so much. I was so mad over her mocking me like that. Yet on Reddit, you hear about men saying so much worse to women, and the women assume they are the problem.
Lastly, when I was younger, if you invited someone over your house, the big fear was that they would find your house “boring”, so you would do everything you could to entertain them. I never watched TV with friends when they came over. Sometimes we played Mario Party or Mario Kart. Yet you see adult women who put up with watching their boyfriend play video games for hours, or binge watching shows they aren’t interested in. I was one of them. Kids would call up their parents to pick them if the host child was watching some boring ass show they had no interest in. And they wouldn’t go over there again! Nowadays, you hear adults say things like "I am not a dancing monkey!" Well sure fine, But I can think back to being a kid, and how much fun I would have with friends, and that's because one person cared about the other person having a good time, and the other person was up for it.
What do you think?
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