I keep having these dreams; there’s a man, always a different man, usually one I’ve never met so probably not even a real person but just someone my brain made up, and we’re having the most amazing sex. He cares only for my pleasure. He does exactly the type of foreplay I like. It’s like he can read my mind. He stops exactly when I want him to. None of it is focused on him. He doesn’t put me on display for his own ego.

...and I’ve come to realize I’ve never had sex like this in real life. Not once. I tried to think back on all my past relationships, and I can’t think of any that really cared what I liked or wanted in bed. None of them even asked. Sure, some asked if I was ok with them doing such-and-such, but that was always something he wanted to do for his pleasure. Some made a big deal about getting me off, but those were always because it made them feel good about themselves to be able to do it. It fed their egos, and it was pretty obviously objectifying while they were doing it.

Please tell me that it’s not super common to have never had legitimately good sex like this. Have any of you had a guy who actually cared about your enjoyment of sex for your sake and not just his?