"People don't date who they are attracted to. They date whoever would impress their friends and family" - Seth Stephens-Davidowitz

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2023-05-01T09:36:35+00:00

Maybe if you’re young. As you get older, you tend to want date people who you enjoy spending time with.

Magnito-was-right · 2023-05-01T05:13:13+00:00

My friends always hated whoever I dated so it's false for me.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-05-01T09:01:15+00:00

Did Davidowitz consider only US searches or searches worldwide?

spiraldinosaur · 2023-05-01T20:47:55+00:00

On point 3; women I've spoken to have said they typically prefer lesbian porn not because they're more attracted to women, but because the way sex is displayed in straight porn is usually unappealing to them, while lesbian porn actually focuses on an shows a more realistic representation of female pleasure.

It's important to remember that data only tells a portion of the story. Quantitative data is worthless without qualitative data. That's why anyone who says "90% of women do this" and "only 10% of men get that" usually has no idea what they're talking about.

HaveALittleGrace · 2023-05-01T11:10:06+00:00

I love data stuff like this! I'm totally reading this soon!

Edit: Obviously I will take everything with a grain of salt. I just find these things fascinating to think about. I just love data stuff.

No_Jelly_6635 · 2023-05-01T10:48:13+00:00

It always stresses me out when I’m talking to someone thinking that they may not appreciate the impression I give to people since I’m the prettiest or coolest. Reminders like this just make me feel like who would ever want to actually be with someone like me?

fathergoose77 · 2023-05-01T17:27:23+00:00

Interesting stuff. Humans are heavily influenced by what their family/cuties/society wants, and each human is different when it comes to their own values. We’re pack animals after all. Sometimes that aligns with what their friends/family wants and sometimes it doesn’t.

It’s interesting to me specifically because I’m a second gen immigrant in the US whose family is very conservative, traditional, and Christian. Men are providers and women are homemakers. Both my sister and I grew away from our religious/cultural upbringings as we became more educated/independent and did not want to live the traditional lifestyle. We both made our parents very angry when it came to our education paths, living situations, and non-participation with the church. Throughout life, I gravitated towards people who had more similar viewpoints as me and my relationships with the more conservative folks back in my hometown slowly faded.

So it seems if people’s values are the same as their friends and families, they’re going to find someone similar. If people disagree with their friends/family but they don’t want to individuate from them and be authentic to their true values because they fear repercussion, they will date someone to please their families. At the end of the day I see it as: are you living for yourself and your own future or for other peoples lives? My parents are going to be dead eventually and I have to live with the choices I made and with the person I committed to. I chose what makes me happy, not my parents.

(Side note: I’ve heard many women say they prefer lesbian porn over straight even when they are straight or bi women because lesbian porn focuses more on the physical enjoyment of women - oral/clitoral stimulation is how most women cum - while hetero porn is created mostly for men’s enjoyment with focus on BJs, tit jobs, the woman being penetrated, and a visual focus on her body/reaction to the penetration - plus very fake orgasms that are even more off putting for a woman watching because she knows what the real ones are like. You can find straight porn created for women and it is A LOT different than the focus of straight porn for men.)

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-05-02T06:32:55+00:00

OP, where exactly is Davidowitz talking about men being more attracted to overweight women? I've got a copy of his book and I was only able to find a paragraph where he says that "men, on average, prefer women who are skinnier and share their hobbies."
I was able to verify the other points but not the first one about overweight women.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2023-05-01T13:40:17+00:00

Many men are more attracted to overweight women but pursue skinny women, because that's what they think they should to impress others

Maybe it's true in some cases, but I think most men prefer thin women. It's just that thin women (and men too for that matter) are becoming a small minority in the U.S., so maybe dudes are learning to settle. Plus there's a difference between "a little chubby" and "morbidly obese". I do find some overweight women attractive, but I strongly prefer thin/fit/muscular women even though I know I have zero chances with them.

Gay men number about 5% of population

From what I've gathered, roughly 5% of the world's population identifies as LGBT. Note, that includes lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender/nonbinary people and I think asexuals are sometimes counted under the umbrella too. However, I think that if you include those who remain closeted for whatever reason (especially those who live in more conservative areas, or in countries outside the West, who would face dire consequences for revealing their preferences), the number is probably closer to 7-10%. I do believe that gay men are more likely to remain closeted than lesbian women, since girl-on-girl sex is more acceptable -- even fetishized -- than guy-on-guy sex, especially among the "toxic masculinity" crowd.

About 20% of porn that women watch is lesbian porn (though it is not clear if more lesbians watch porn compared to straight women).

Don't know about this, but it wouldn't surprise me if lesbians are more inclined to consume porn than straight women.

People lie/exaggerate about the amount of sex they have

This is most likely true a lot of the time, especially when it comes to teenagers and early-mid twenty-somethings.

Chemical-Quote-7082 · 2023-05-01T23:23:24+00:00

Point 2 is roughly a known point and is not some finding that belongs to this dude.

Additionally, LGBT people are anathema to this dork's claim. Nobody/few people would be impressed by whoever they date, so why would they date people for the sake of impressing others?

The claim is made better in regards to straight men in particular, and there's a treasure trove of posts all over this sub about men dating women to act as social chips to impress others (plus, many women are aware of this as well).

KookyEstablishment80 · 2023-05-01T13:55:33+00:00

I know a lot of men did not want to date me because my family isn't one of the "outstanding" families, even though we all work(ed) and have never been in trouble with the law. We don't have any good pedigree.

shmupsy · 2023-05-01T15:59:38+00:00

i hate to admit but i always had an insecurity about my parents thinking i 'settled' lookswise.

i don't know why. it's not logically true. i have some deep-seated psychological problem.

anyone else have this??

Title	"People don't date who they are attracted to. They date whoever would impress their friends and family" - Seth Stephens-Davidowitz
Author	PutsWomenOnPedestal
Upvotes	55
Comments	53
Date	May 1, 2023 2:27 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/134a87j/people_dont_date_who_they_are_attracted_to_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/people-dont-date-who-they-are-attracted-to-they.1217158 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217158

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