Going to war has taken its its toll.

ranger69danger · 2023-04-29T05:20:51+00:00

Bro. This is a zero sum game. IMHO.

DocHolliday80 · 2023-04-29T12:24:10+00:00

She would to the same or worse to you if she had the chance, don’t think it is something personal against her, just the way it is thought to work and you are just looking for your best interest.

import_help · 2023-04-29T12:28:27+00:00

Dude I fucking hear you. It was rough. I’m not a fighter by nature, and I really struggled with… I don’t know, the shittiness of it? But you’ve got to. You have to stay strong and you have to hit back. Yes, you loved her, but you’ve been presented with an existential threat.

What got me through this was my daughter. YOU have to be her voice, and you have to fight for her. Does she deserve to have all the time with her father that she can get? The only way to make that happen, unfortunately, is throw a punch and go for the knockout.

I could’ve written this man, I know the feeling all too well. It does get easier, but I know I lost a lot of sleep over it. The whole thing just felt, at best, dishonorable. But you’ve been called to war. You may not have started the fight, but you do have to finish it. Your little girl needs that of you.

Wired4Data · 2023-04-29T06:31:00+00:00

Like yourself, Not many of us want war but we have to prepare for war if we want any chance of peace! I loved my ex at some point too and used to try and pull my punches, each time she thanked me with a lie about me, my family, how our child felt about me, etc. My point is that love we once had is a weakness for them to exploit, stay ready because they won’t hesitate to gut you like a fish!

sicrm · 2023-04-29T12:18:03+00:00

think of it as a means to an end until the case is over. if you rolled over during the case, your life after it would be that much harder.

also on your post about rewriting history look up the light switch effect

Seemedlikefun · 2023-04-29T13:55:06+00:00

What you are doing is securing the best possible, emotional, physical and financial future for you and your daughter. Nothing more, and nothing less is acceptable. Finish the task!

JonathanApple · 2023-04-29T18:40:47+00:00

Yeah, If you have kids I'd try for peace but I know not always an option. My ex declared nuclear war and now unfortunately we will despise one another till days we die. Not best for the kid but it is what it is. Definitely do not roll over. Fight if needed. Just don't start the fight.

RuRu_1999 · 2023-04-29T23:44:19+00:00

Could you give us some idea of what this war looks like? What kinds of things?

mrclark121 · 2023-04-30T01:12:36+00:00

When you cross the line into the land of Divorce emotion must be removed. This now is strictly business. Handle it. The mere fact your feeling that way and mentioning your doing this for your daughter clearly indicates a well grounded good dude. Just remember many years from now when you look back on this (which you will) you are going to be very thankful you dealt with this situation with your head instead of your heart.

Spirited_Ad_1540 · 2023-04-30T20:16:12+00:00

This is so helpful. I’m in the same situation. Being used as a doormat (I continue to allow it to happen). Trying to find the courage to file.

joemoorcarz · 2023-04-29T21:58:28+00:00

Sounds like a divorce in progress

Title	Going to war has taken its its toll.
Author	Error-Original
Upvotes	11
Comments	21
Date	April 29, 2023 5:08 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/132jvd9/going_to_war_has_taken_its_its_toll/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/going-to-war-has-taken-its-its-toll.1217338 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217338

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