Medium is the Message or Good Excuse

RDFSF · 2023-06-21T15:29:31+00:00

From an outside perspective, I don’t see nearly enough evidence to think she was cheating. She may have been, but since she has no history of it, and has never made you think that she does, I would assume she didn’t. The most likely scenario is her friends talked her into getting drunk, she probably had fun maybe even flirted with some guys, stayed out all night and slept till noon.

It’s possible she cheated, but you don’t have any real evidence that she did to be honest. I would assume she just got wasted unless something else happens to make you think otherwise.

BobbyPeru · 2023-06-21T21:22:07+00:00

You’re never going to know for sure. So, you have to decide to process it in a way you can move on or not. I suspect you are going to hamster tf out of it tho… the danger of that is accusations with no proof have a way of leaking out under stress and arguments.

Monopoly41 · 2023-06-21T16:47:58+00:00

There is not %100 proof that she slept with other people on you but my guts say she did something that you don’t wanna hear.

Maybe she was flirting with other people , danced , got drunk , or kissed . Unfortunately She mentioned that her friends flirted with other guys = means that she also did flirt with other guys too.

If I were you , I would check her phone and see the pics at that night. Also messages, insta dms , any kind of thing for sure .

I am sorry man , I don’t wanna be the bad cop but you should check to the deepest point .

adeptintact · 2023-06-22T03:02:45+00:00

So you cheated on her a few years back and she knows. She took a pic with a bunch of random guys, got drunk and ignored you until noon the next day?

Worst case she fucked another guy. Best case was she was making out with another guy.

You cheated with another married woman so you know how wives can easily lie to their husbands.

motn89 · 2023-06-21T15:52:49+00:00

If she has, she's given you enough plasuible deniability to live your life thinking she hasn't. In a way, that's kinder to you than giving you a nasty truth, so you should take the official story IMO.

If the plausible deniability goes, then it's a different equation.

SnooGuavas8229 · 2023-06-21T20:52:45+00:00

Medium is the message is consistent behavior i.e. you keep texting a chick and she repeatedly flakes or pushes off dates, you've been going out w a chick awhile and she still won't sleep w you, etc.

My guess is your hamster is going rambo bc you've been consuming a lot of RP material.

Your wife is around 40 as well? She prolly just had too much bc she's on vacation mode and wants to be present and have some fun w her friends and check out of being on her phone. If she has never given you a reason to suspect any shadiness otherwise don't try and rush to judgements & just say AWALT bc everyone else on here does.

But who knows, there is little backstory of your story and what you've been through up to this point w her or yourself.

WeekThink · 2023-06-22T05:45:23+00:00

Honestly, figure out what your gut is telling you here.

If your gut is telling you something happened, then something happened.

I get the need to want proof before you act; otherwise, you may be throwing away a healthy relationship.

I had to play detective and piece together information over 8 months....and in the end I had to bluff her into a confession. She was intent on taking it to her grave.

Bluff ie: convince her that I knew she cheated

I divorced her......life is better!

rrrrrrrrricky · 2023-06-22T13:20:15+00:00

Whether your wife did or didn't (probably did) is irrelevant. Your problem is you don't have enough options (other women orbiting around you) so you fixate on your wife.

Have more options, always have one foot out the door

badgermonkeyIII · 2023-06-21T15:14:13+00:00

The stay-plan is the same as the go-plan.

nikfury69 · 2023-06-21T15:30:06+00:00

My favorite, "phone got muted somehow and I slept through my alarm... Must have missed the call too."

You know a battle plan is good until the first shot fired. So adapt, improvise, and overcome. If she is, she is. If she's not, she's not.

The Stay Plan is the Go Plan. Work on things that improve you, regardless of her state.

Kevlar__Soul · 2023-06-21T17:04:46+00:00

There is really no way to know for sure. Your gut feeling may have more to do with your recent reading material then her actual behavior. At this point without any evidence your just going to drive yourself crazy with what if’s.

My suggestion would be to forget about it and keep up your reading and hitting the gym hard.

kvakerok · 2023-06-21T16:44:05+00:00

If you're done with having kids, just start wrapping your rocket. The rest doesn't matter.

brique879 · 2023-06-23T17:19:10+00:00

If she did do something usually they’ll continue to act off a bit over time. This same thing happened to me went out couldn’t reach her showed up the next day with similar story. We were divorced in 6 months. I’ll never know the truth but I suspect something happened.

muzzy_W0e · 2023-06-21T15:57:29+00:00

Here's an anecdote: The day of my military graduation was early June in Alabama. After being in the sun for fucking hours and sweating through all layers of my uniform, we went out to lunch with my family. Afterwards, my wife at the time headed to the hotel first. I was wrapping a few things up on base (no CAC and such) and went to the hotel about an hour after. I wanted nothing more then to go in the shower. When I unlocked the door, i realized she used the chain to latch the fucking door. I could see her on the bed sleeping and my pounding and calling out to her weren't enough to wake her after her long drive from Florida the night before. Her phone was still on silent from the ceremony. Luckily room service was passing by and took pity me and let me in (being in uniform was enough apparently - fucking dangerous now that I think about it). Point being, stop the mental rumination. She may be teling the truth. She also may not be. What else is different than any other time she's not in line of sight?

I've had a married woman answer the phone mid sex to tell her husband she's at the bar with friends. "My phone was on silent" may also be true (as per my anecdote above), just like "I was hammered and passed the fuck out." Decide to trust her, or don't. Just shut up and live with the consequences either way. You have more important shit to do with your every (I hope).

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2023-06-21T15:42:00+00:00

When it comes to women, always trust your gut. Given today's women you have about a fifty fifty chance she cheated.

feddyman_1216 · 2023-06-21T16:17:33+00:00

OYS Disclaimer: I cheated on her a few years back with a married woman so it's probably the "little bitch" voice in my head telling me she did it too.

Other than that I'm killing it at the gym, at work, with my finances, etc. I'm learning this RP game and my life has already shown some improvements. Don't have a huge network of guys to bounce this shit off of, so I decided to post this basic ass question/scenario to see what the MRP community thinks.

Thanks fellas!

J-VV-R · 2023-06-21T22:34:35+00:00

Do I need to man the fuck up and accept the possibility that she hooked up?

Only you can decide and answer this question.

HAPPYDAZEWAZE · 2023-06-23T13:18:53+00:00

Typically, cheaters go out if their way to make their partner believe all is well. If she had cheated, she would have sent a text that she arrived to her hotel…she would have sent a text early the next morning.

The Medium is the Message here. She can’t text if she’s passed out drunk.

My bet is she got wasted.

wkndatbernardus · 2023-06-22T02:39:14+00:00

All that matters is how she's treating you now. If she's good to you, who cares what she did or didn't do out of your sight? If she's treating you poorly, then you have way bigger problems than a ons.

mabden · 2023-06-21T19:45:20+00:00

If she is not home yet, when she arrives, make sure you check her laundry for telltale signs in underwear. Check out Checkmate.

Other avenues for finding the truth, check her phone, and talk to her girlfriends SOs to compare notes/stories.

Title	Medium is the Message or Good Excuse
Author	feddyman_1216
Upvotes	13
Comments	58
Date	June 21, 2023 2:27 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/14f97qj/medium_is_the_message_or_good_excuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/medium-is-the-message-or-good-excuse.1223150 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223150

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