Society placates and caters to insecure women, while it punishes and mocks insecurity in men

ExMuzzy · 2023-06-23T13:01:34+00:00

You know it's funny when a guy asks for advice regarding his wife or girlfriend smelling down below. All the advice is for him to say it in the most gentle way possible so as not to trigger her insecurities. Example from AITA:

"NTA, but maybe try not to "tell" her. If you're intimate enough together, maybe offer to shower or bathe together, and you can help her wash her hair or something. Or if shes coming over, maybe prepare a nice hot bath with bubbles or candles or something."

Yet, these people mock men with 'small dick energy', 'short man syndrome' because for some reason male insecurity is funny and when men complain their feelings are disregarded as 'fragile masculinity' or 'male fragility'. Then you'll have feminists go back to 'why don't men open up?'.

JustTwo5936 · 2023-06-23T14:42:12+00:00

“My spouse has gained weight and I’m not attracted to them anymore”

Woman: just tell him so he’ll be motivated to get into shape

Man: you shallow, misogynistic monster!

Objective_Command_85 · 2023-06-23T17:01:51+00:00

All you fine gents have a wonderful sunday

UbiquitousWobbegong · 2023-06-23T17:47:49+00:00

Well, that's all pretty easily explained, and there's no easy way to change this behavior. Women get lots of support and compliments because other women face no consequences for complimenting women, and actually benefit from the in-group bias women have towards each other. Men complement women readily because they are almost always angling to slide into her life/pants. Women don't complement men readily because men tend not to seek compliments, because women aren't trying to get in men's pants in the same scattershot way, and because it can draw unwanted attention from men.

We don't benefit from any social forces that provide inherent value. Women do, by being the pursued rather than the pursuer romantically. This problem stems from a core pillar of our evolutionary psychology. The best way to combat this issue is for men to take it upon ourselves to create spaces where we raise other men up. We have to find ways to create a healthy mentality and purpose for young men without requiring women to pay attention to them first. With health and success, attention from women will come later, and that will give them access to those motivators that come from having a relationship and pursuing a family.

I don't see any other way around this besides grass roots groups created by successful men to build up unsuccessful men. And the unfortunate reality is that successful men don't inherently have a drive to do this. I know that, for myself, I'm busy enough as it is. I have my own problems to worry about. But if we don't sacrifice our own interests and time to help men as a group, no one will, and that doesn't bode well for our societies as a whole.

This is assuming this type of space for young men and successful men was not attacked for being a breeding ground for abuse. All it takes is one allegation of sexual harassment for a mentorship group to implode.

khanivorus_rex · 2023-06-23T16:30:32+00:00

Being insecure is normal, it just the reality of living in an uncertain world, its only a problem when the thing that you are insecure about creeping way too much in your life, thats why we were drawn to people who seem or presented themselves like they got shit together or sometimes just being confident which could be another problem. But the way we use it today just to make other people comply to our standards and we could flip the script constantly. Cant accept woman something something aha insecure, cant accept men something something aha insecure.

Net_Flux3 · 2023-06-23T13:10:05+00:00

Women say they don’t compliment for a variety of reasons. But if they normalized it, guys wouldn’t start thinking with the little head every once in a blue moon when they get complimented.

Stop begging women to compliment men. That's like a slave begging for a compliment from an aristocrat thinking that the aristocrat might be concerned about the slave's "mental wellbeing" when the aristocrat lives in a different world altogether. Why do you think the aristocrat would give a shit about the slave? And yes, this is a good analogy because male-female association is akin to aristocrat-slave association by law.

Men should start complimenting each other. I try to do that whenever I can.

Wasteofoxyg3n · 2023-06-23T20:50:18+00:00

Whenever a man shows weakness, he is immediately ridiculed for it and seen as "less of a man."

I keep hearing "Why aren't men open with their emotions?" yet whenever we do open up, they weaponize it against us. We can't be insecure, we can't be sad, we can't be angry, we can't do anything that doesn't directly benefit women.

"B-but that's just toxic masculinity!!!11"

No, it's not. 9 times out of 10, it's women or men trying to look "cool" in front of women.

DrunKeMergingWhetnun · 2023-06-23T23:27:16+00:00

Hadn't you realized? You're to be stoic but absolutely not stoic in any capacity, because that's toxic masculinity. You must feel your emotions but never express them, as men are to be seen but not heard, but if you bottle your feelings up, that's also toxic masculinity. And if you should at any point express anything other than the prescribed male emotions of celebratory indifference and whatever facial expressions that can't be interpreted as "rapist," or "happy" as women have widely been observed to be put off by images of smiling males, you're a misogynist and a piece of shit. We appreciate your understanding of this very simple concept.

notagoodboii · 2023-06-24T02:46:18+00:00

Well, if you don't get enough compliments, here's one for you, my friend:

Whatever happens in the world, I know that you're strong and mindful enough to deal with it. So have a good day and keep being a decent person you are :)

Tbh, would appreciate a post for daily compliments for my fellas. It's pretty nice to share some warmth with people and know that it made their day a bit less stressful

nyarlathotep999 · 2023-06-23T14:55:58+00:00

Tell a random dude he has thick thighs and pretty eyes. I do it all the time.

Edit: To the person that commented "heavens to mergatroid" , that was hilarious. I love snagglepuss too. 🌈

hottake_toothache · 2023-06-23T21:07:26+00:00

People don't care about men, but they do care about women. Expect society to operate accordingly.

Make-TFT-Fun-Again · 2023-06-23T21:41:37+00:00

Weakness is not acceptable in men- except when it comes to family, his wife, children etcetera.

Acousmetre78 · 2023-06-23T22:23:57+00:00

And then if men gather around anyone sympathetic they are deemed a hate group. I had a lot of marginalized friends over the years gays, Africans, middle Eastern, disabled, ect… but it seems that people now say the same thing to men. I wonder if they forgot how it felt? Is it misdirected anger? I kind of get it when someone reminds you of your bully but guys need their space to talk about insecurities and god forbid just to go be unrestrained verbally somewhere so they feel heard.

umenu · 2023-06-23T16:43:04+00:00

I compliment my man every day. He is just that amazing. He is caring and kind, amazing father, creative, I love his art, love hearing him on the bass, it's fun to watch him game or game together, and I still think he is the most handsome man ever. I absolutely adore him and will complement him always.

Wise_Bodybuilder_224 · 2023-06-24T10:58:40+00:00

Taking insecurities seriously for everyone is the key to equality. Let's support each other.

Apart-Opportunity568 · 2023-06-24T11:19:54+00:00

Women seem to want a man who is in touch with his emotions but isn't emotional. He can't have feelings like grief, despair, lonliness, worthlessness, inadequacy or being insecure without a loss of respect from any woman who is aware he divulged that information to ANYONE at any time, ever! Let alone the expression of his love, care, devotion, dedication, joy, etc. for his children or wife.

Being in touch with our emotions isn't what women want. They want us to be in touch with HER emotions, doing romantic things for her with (at most) a split second of our genuine love shown. To make her feel special, desired, important and sought after like a prize or reward. Women shouldn't find it difficult to understand men want that "wanting to be wanted" feeling too. I believe women in general typically have an expectation for men to make them feel that way or they're not good enough/worthy of her. Whereas I think men usually expect it's mandatory to give her those feelings better than other men can and hopes we beat the competition to win her exclusivity, realizing he is likely to get far less effort in return than what he put forth. Even after winning her over he expects and accepts that heavily unbalanced dynamic to continue, giving more than he gets. Seeing value in his efforts and sincerity is difficult for her because she can easily have numerous other guys doing the same thing. The vast majority of men don't have (nor want) that available to them which adds HUGE meaning and value to her effort, loyalty and commitment to us. Something easily obtainable has little value, but when it requires lots of effort and hard work to achieve it increases it's significance.

Telling her we aren't feeling wanted, loved, desired or anything similar immediately shows we're weak, insecure, too emotional or some other undesirable trait making us unattractive and seen as less of a man. The double standards or one way streets taught as expected and acceptable is disgusting. The sooner women realize we're sensitive too (but in different ways) and only want simple things like compliments, praise, support, encouragement, appreciation, acknowledgement, feeling we've accomplished important duties and believing we've done a proper job providing for and protecting those we love. That stuff alone can give any man the sense of fulfilling his goals in life bringing him genuine happiness.

Got kinda carried away there..... wow!

dogs_go_to_space · 2023-06-23T21:42:51+00:00

Reading stuff like this is enraging:

https://i.imgur.com/eOuudHy.png

A woman wrote that, the point being she still has a partner

Men with any one of those traits are destined to be completely alone

Pessimist001 · 2023-06-23T15:12:57+00:00

Yes in a sense for men it’s always in competition so any insecurity is some kind of weakness. For women it’s all collaboration and trying to help one another.

whtsnk · 2023-06-23T17:51:33+00:00

Insecurity in men is men's problem. Insecurity in women is also men's problem.

Seriously, insecurity is pathologized in men, but coddled in women. Notice that phrases like "reeks of insecurity" are uniquely applied to men, because when a woman is insecure, she is never mocked for being so.

danfromdevon · 2023-06-23T16:12:49+00:00

It’s equally damaging for women though.

If a fat woman says to her friends “I feel so ugly and fat, it’s making me feel awful, I can’t date any good guys” - they’ll likely say something along the lines of “don’t be silly, you look stunning, a guy would be lucky to have you”.

Where as if a fat man says “I feel fat and ugly, can’t get women and I feel like shit” his mates will likely say “Chin up, just hit the gym. We’ll go together if you want. Get you a decent haircut, sort your diet out and get you sorted.”

So the woman is told her feelings are invalid before being given approval and an ego boost. Which short term, might fill her with confidence. But long term, will only make things worse.

And the man receives validation and compassion. But is then encouraged to do something about it to try and fix his problems.

In these scenarios. The fat woman will stay fat. The fat man probably won’t.

Many women do this because it undermines that person. If someone stays fat and ugly, they’re not a threat and they’ll do this under the guise of trying protect that person’s feelings. Where as men don’t give a shit. Most will do a lot more than you’d imagine to help a friend in need.

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-06-23T20:59:06+00:00

Women don't give their compliments easily .Men don't give compliments to men cz they are directly competing amongst each other

Neither_Still8887 · 2023-06-24T11:59:31+00:00

Any time a woman wants an ego boost, all she has to do is say she feels ugly. She’ll get SWARMS of people telling her she’s beautiful.

???

Who are these swarms of people 😂

1 I compliment my boyfriend almost every day - but granted, you probably aren't talking about people in relationship

2 Getting matches on dating site, is not the same as being complimented

Its hard for a woman to compliment a man without him thinking she's flirting. I don't want to appear like I'm flirting ☠️
Men need to compliment men too. So go on, compliment your male friends.
Unless women are posting half naked pics on social media (which i promise you, most dont) then they won't get these random, meaningless compliments.

Traditional_life98 · 2023-06-23T18:26:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SelfTechnical6976 · 2023-06-24T05:16:07+00:00

Women also recieve lenient penalties.

NullIsUndefined · 2023-06-24T06:36:02+00:00

Honestly, the man's situation is better. You don't want people lying to you and telling you your perfect if you are a whale.

Honest tuff love from your bros is better than fake pleasantries between women.

Still I don't disagree. Honest complements for a man are a great thing

John-Walker-1186 · 2023-06-24T07:52:03+00:00

I learned long ago not to talk about my issues. People do NOT want to hear a complaining man.

Mindless-Spend-3327 · 2023-06-24T08:49:41+00:00

People are brutally honest when a man is ugly, they will point out as to how fat, bald or disgusting he is.

When it comes to a Woman. All are queens.

mrmensplights · 2023-06-24T20:37:52+00:00

Easy mode. Hard mode.

Title	Society placates and caters to insecure women, while it punishes and mocks insecurity in men
Author	Revolutionary-Suit42
Upvotes	632
Comments	69
Date	June 23, 2023 11:16 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/14gvuxt/society_placates_and_caters_to_insecure_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/society-placates-and-caters-to-insecure-women.1223162 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223162

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