Lori Gottlieb wrote "Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough" where she chronicles her struggles and the mistakes she has made now that she decided to become a single mother by choice nearing her 40's. Her mentality perfectly illustrates the unreasonable demands women want in a man while they are (oftentimes not even) average women. These articles were from 2008 and 2010, imagine how much worse these women have gotten since then with online dating!

My brothers, what has been your experiences with these women?

Excerpts from a NYT summary-

- "Gottlieb makes a case that many women today end up alone because they hold men to insanely high standards. The feminist ideal of having it all, on our own terms, she argues, “is exactly how many of us empowered ourselves out of a good mate.”

- "Gottlieb’s female subjects complain: He “brought me flowers, but cheesy ones.” “He was too optimistic.” He “loved me too much.” One whines about a boyfriend’s onerous demands for sex, even while reporting that it was the best sex she’d ever had"- "She convinces us that we women are simply too fussy, entitled and downright delusional about our own worth in the mating marketplace. We overanalyze and seek undiluted sexual and intellectual fulfillment, thus setting men up for failure."

- "A psychologist tells Gottlieb he is seeing in women “a heightened sense of entitlement that previous generations didn’t have,” adding that our mothers didn’t expect to be thrilled and charmed at all times by their husbands."

- "She believes that a seasoned older woman can learn to love the kind of (shortish, shy, not-so-wealthy) man she once spurned in her alpha-or-bust days."

- "By the time she has figured this out, she has resorted to speed dating and professional matchmakers. Many men her age want younger women, so she starts seeing “Sheldon2,” a widower bearing no resemblance to her original ideal."

- "At the time, she couldn’t imagine settling, but here’s the Catch-22: “If I’d settled at 39,” she said, “I always would have had the fantasy that something better exists out there. Now I know better. Either way, I was screwed.”" - Some people will never be happy

Excerpts from her article

- "It sounds obvious now, but I didn’t fully appreciate back then that what makes for a good marriage isn’t necessarily what makes for a good romantic relationship."

- "A number of my single women friends admit (in hushed voices and after I swear I won’t use their real names here) that they’d readily settle now but wouldn’t have 10 years ago.[...] Instead, we grew up thinking that marriage meant feeling some kind of divine spark, and so we walked away from uninspiring relationships that might have made us happy in the context of a family."

- "Back when I was still convinced I’d find my soul mate, I did, although I never articulated this, have certain requirements. I thought that the person I married would have to have a sense of wonderment about the world, would be both spontaneous and grounded[...]- "Now, though, I realize that if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I’m at the age where I’ll likely need to settle for someone who is settling for me."

- "But when I chose to have a baby on my own, the plan was that I would continue to search for true connection afterward; it certainly wasn’t that I would have a baby alone only to settle later. After all, wouldn’t it have been wiser to settle for a higher caliber of “not Mr. Right” while my marital value was at its peak?" She genuinely thought she would find her dream man who would jump at the chance to take care of a child that wasnt his 🤡🤡

- "Those of us who choose not to settle in hopes of finding a soul mate later are almost like teenagers who believe they’re invulnerable to dying in a drunk-driving accident. [...] We forget that we, too, will age and become less alluring. And even if some men do find us engaging, and they’re ready to have a family, they’ll likely decide to marry someone younger with whom they can have their own biological children.""At the time, I truly believed, “I can have it all—a baby now, my soul mate later!”Well … ha! Hahahaha. And ha.[...] At the end of the evening, we rush home to pay the babysitter, make any houseguest tiptoe around and speak in a hushed voice, then wake up at 6 a.m. at the first cries of “Mommy!” Try bringing a guy home to that."

- On her belief that after getting a sperm donor she could meet the man of her dreams"Chris believes that women are far too picky: everyone knows, he says, that a single middle-aged man still has appealing prospects; a single middle-aged woman likely doesn’t. And he’s right. Single women are painfully aware of this."

- "My friend Jennifer summed it up this way: “When I used to hear women complaining bitterly about their husbands, I’d think, ‘How sad, they settled.’ Now it’s like, ‘God, that would be nice.’”"