Talk me off the edge here - I’m debating signing a shit deal to get this over with

Spudlink9 · 2023-09-22T22:25:16+00:00

Di not sign a shorty deal. Deal with the pain now or deal with the pain for the rest of your life. No short term thinking.

FUMoney · 2023-09-23T03:53:36+00:00

Are there any other reasons for the custody split? Work considerations, schedules, school location, travel, anything?

My justification is it can always be changed later, right?

If this is your only justification, then no, don't do it. It can be incredibly difficult to revise or modify agreed-to divorce orders, whether it be custody, support, anything.

If you agree to this, you will give the other side a ton of ammunition to keep it in place, forever. Here's how it will go:

"Your honor, Mr. X himself agreed to this custody order precisely because he knew this was the best arrangement for his children, as well as for both custodial parents. And to date, the children have done extremely well with the current arrangement. Disrupting this carefully crafted and balanced custody order should not be taken lightly, your honor.

In fact, since the custody order was entered, Mr. X's work schedule has not changed. Importantly, your honor, the custody agreement he wanted and agreed to -- and fully supported in this Court -- has resulted in the children becoming accustomed to the weekday and weekend schedule he wanted.

To change that agreed to custody schedule now, at this late date, would be incredibly disruptive to the children's lives, education, and the parental living arrangement to which they have been accustomed. The Court simply should not countenance such a disruptive request to the children's lives at this critical period in their development.

Mr. X gives zero basis upon which to modify this agreement, other than regret. The time to set forth the custody arrangement he wanted was when the parties jointly submitted their custody agreement several years ago. Under the law, Mr. X, at this late date, needs far more evidence and a legal basis to alter a valid order of this Court. We urge the Court to maintain the status quo and immediately deny this request."

We further ask the Court to order Mr. X to pay all associated legal costs and fees in seeking to modify the custody arrangement, which he well knows has zero basis in law or in fact for modification."

Read this to yourself. Several times. I am telling you straight up, in two minutes I just drafted the outlines of the response they are going to smash you in the face with if you go down this path.

You've been warned.

Brilliant-Tomorrow55 · 2023-09-22T22:27:31+00:00

Anything you sign could be permanent and nigh impossible to change. Make the court say it and you can appeal. I just went through this! Hold your ground!

captainchippsixx · 2023-09-22T23:30:47+00:00

You would have to be more specific on the parenting time.

Gattsama · 2023-09-23T11:09:51+00:00

There is nothing as permanent as a temporary order. Agreeing to never having a weeking off is horrible. She gets the benefits of the kids in school, down time when off work, and time to build a social life (with new men). You become her work horse.

Assume the current deal is for life! Hoping that it can change in the future? The future is now! Literally, you don't have a deal yet. Make the deal you want now. If you agree to the BS now, you are shackling your life for years to come.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-09-24T01:22:32+00:00

Yea I wouldn't do that, I'm currently doing 223 but it's not finalized yet, but I'm loving it. Get to see my daughter a lot, and my stbx can finally start pulling her weight she did NOTHING when we were married, idk why I ever put up with a woman who said oh you do the house work and you're so good with our daughter keep doing it all while I go nap every day for hours after work

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-09-24T12:31:07+00:00

OP don’t do this. 50/50 every other week she’s just trying to use you as her weekend babysitter and get more CP.

techrmd3 · 2023-09-24T21:56:41+00:00

if it's shitty about kid time it's probably best to just take it (within reason)

I'm assuming you get every other weekend and some summer, some holiday

you don't have the income/assets to fight this, she won't budge, you will have to go to a judge, but wait you will need to go through arbitration/mediation (you pay), THEN you schedule a hearing a year from now... it's a nightmare

if it's over kids not money I would try to get some time for her to agree

sneak in a clause about her moving in with new boy not allowed for 2 years or something.

Title	Talk me off the edge here - I’m debating signing a shit deal to get this over with
Author	BussinFatLoads
Upvotes	10
Comments	17
Date	September 22, 2023 10:00 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16pmsi8/talk_me_off_the_edge_here_im_debating_signing_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/talk-me-off-the-edge-here-im-debating-signing-a.1232698 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232698

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