How to cope with the amount of rejection you get as a man?

Temporary_3108 · 2023-10-22T10:44:40+00:00

I feel you bud. Even trying all those generic advices like getting fit, becoming more social, having good fashion and hairstyle and all other stuff hardly worked for me. The rejections were still the same. I kept getting rejected no matter what I tried and no matter how much I or how hard I improved myself. The outcomes never changed for me. And the even depressing thing is I mostly approached the plain-looking, introverted, loner type girls of my batch/social-circle, thinking they would not only be less shallow and superficial but also be more accepting, loving, caring, affectionate and empathetic. But I couldn't have been any less wrong lmao. Not only did each and every single one of them reject me, some even went out of their way to reject me. One girl literally said it to my face how I shouldn't expect any girls to genuinely like me back with the looks and face I got. Another girl I asked out literally broke down crying from sorrow and anguish because only an "ugly guy" showed interest in her. Many others rejected me in a really cold and blunt manner.

I have mostly given up on even trying to get a girlfriend entirely. I mostly just indulge and throw myself into my hobbies and interests instead, to numb my pain and loneliness, and it has been working really greatly for me luckily till now, although there are times and instances where the loneliness and sadness just keeps gushing in and I get into a depressive for some time before going on with my life

SparkleCharm · 2023-10-22T13:36:46+00:00

Why do you even want a woman to begin with? This question is important because attachment to your desire will not only make it harder for you to obtain it, but It will also make you feel miserable.

You need to truly let it go altogether and find a way to be truly happy and feel complete while single.

Is it for sex? Find a way to fulfill your fantaisies and different ways of coping (imagination, sexual dreams, etc.). Is it companionship? Try to find a way to have a solid social circle in real life that may help you feel accompanied. Is it because you want to have kids and raise a family? Consider exploring alternative paths to parenthood such as adoption or becoming a mentor to children in need. Remember, there are countless ways to experience the joys of family and nurturing relationships without solely relying on a romantic partner.

Understand that a woman, should complement your life rather than define it.

Tammepoiss · 2023-10-22T12:08:27+00:00

But why do you even need a woman? How does a woman make your life better?

I was the same when I was a bit younger, but now I don't really understand why I was so keen on finding a woman at all :D

Sex gets boring if you do it enough times. The same repetitive shit every time and you as a man have a much harder role where you have to both be passionate and withhold your own pleasure in order to make her happy. Much easier to just pleasure yourself and get on with life.

Women don't offer much emotional support to men. I've mostly dated left-leaning artistic girls and a feminist. And even they don't like when men show emotions and don't offer much support.

They don't do feminine stuff around the house anymore, meanwhile you are expected to do manly chores.

Very rare to find a girl who has actual hobbies and passions that you can share with.

They take time that would be better spent improving your self, having fun with friends, hobbies and so on.

Cuddling is nice, but it's like a built in addiction that can be overcome.

Somebody tell me why I would want a woman in my life :D. Maybe i've become too jaded, but I've honestly not met women of such quality that I feel like I would be missing out. It took time to understand it though. The drive to fuck is too strong when you're younger I guess.

Far-Salt-6946 · 2023-10-22T13:28:45+00:00

When you die... probably 5 people will cry (if you're lucky) for 2 days then they will forget all about you and move on with their life. Most people won't care if you die tomorrow so why do you care what they think of you today ? Learn to live life on your terms

Large-Door9555 · 2023-10-22T07:45:05+00:00

Bro please be careful of what you're sharing and where. The white knights and captain save a hoe mob on this sub will come on here and bombard the comments saying it’s all your fault.

First off I want to say You a real g for putting yourself out there. Lot of dudes don't have the gall to do it. You have already separated yourself from the rest, you have the confidence to approach and make a move. I'm hella proud of you.

Physical looks win. Above everything else.

Not the confidence, not the status, not the money, not anything outside of his physical presence. All of this is only is after she sees you as physically attractive.

Handsome man flirts w her: he's so cute 😍

Average man flirts w her: what a creep.

The ugly get left behind. Looksmax or you will be left behind.

LionVenom10 · 2023-10-22T12:31:54+00:00

Realise you’re not missing out on much. Unfortunately the only thing that confirm this is trying it out yourself. I used to get rejected often and it destroyed my esteem, but since having a relationship, I realised I was mostly dodging bullets. If you’re looking for companionship, they don’t offer it, they only require you to support or fund them, and if you’re looking for sexual gratification, jerking off is so much easier, quicker and less stressful than intercourse.

Shreddersaurusrex · 2023-10-22T18:31:14+00:00

Tbh men have a lot to lose with relationships & marriage these days. Lot of potential problems you can run into these days.

I try to focus on the fact that things are relatively ok for me currently.

Felarhin · 2023-10-22T08:12:09+00:00

5 stages of grief.

1 - Denial - There's lots of women who want me, but they just won't admit it.

2 - Anger - I'm such a nice guy. Dating is trash. Maybe Andrew Tate is right.

3 - Bargaining - Maybe if I hit the gym and make enough money, someone will be interested in me.

4 - Depression - I'm done trying, leave me alone and let me get high.

5 - Acceptance - You can't force other people to like you. Some people aren't going to be accepted no matter how hard they try. Guess I'll just relax for the rest of my time on this earth and embrace being a degenerate bachelor.

I'm still not out of the depression phase completely. It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship and I feel like I'm living half a life at best this way. I wish I could say I was happy just going MGTOW but I'm not.

the-lone-squid · 2023-10-22T19:58:36+00:00

Easy- i stopped asking women out.

Can’t get rejected if you don’t try 🤓

Loose-Mix-4307 · 2023-10-22T14:59:03+00:00

I Cope with cyanide pills

Jeremy_Dewitte1 · 2023-10-22T19:36:45+00:00

Understand one simple truth, what women "think" does not matter.

infinitofluxo · 2023-10-22T15:03:04+00:00

You get drunk and fuck a hooker than go back to being rejected.

Roddy_Rowdy_Piper · 2023-10-22T14:49:27+00:00

If we're talking about approaching in the wild, the vast, vast majority of rejections are simply due to logistics and unavailability

She's taken

She's not looking, just got divorced, lesbian, mental illness, super religious

She has health, family, personal issues

She's about to move, quit her job, help her sick grandma, etc

You're not the right demographic in terms of age or race

Add all this up, and you're already rejected before you've even entered the room. It's not personal.

Namedoesntmatter89 · 2023-10-22T08:43:30+00:00

There are many tips that can be given, but most of them really depend on your unique circumstances and what women you are interested in. This makes me hesitant to give any advice because what is the point when I'll probably be wrong.

CookLawrenceAt325F · 2023-10-22T14:19:06+00:00

I'm pretty sure the way most men cope with rejection is "Fuck it We Ball" or "It is What It Is"

Whynot_stuff_77 · 2023-10-22T23:06:24+00:00

Volume negates luck.

11smithj · 2023-10-23T02:24:34+00:00

Stop dating western women

mrkpxx · 2023-10-23T05:40:39+00:00

Recognize it as gaslighting.

anon_enuf · 2023-10-23T01:14:25+00:00

For me, respect is earned. Like, everyone gets a basic level of courtesy & respect. I'm polite & accepting. But until I really know someone, there's no genuine respect. Man or woman. If you don't respect someone, you don't value their opinion as much, if it all. If a women doesn't find me attractive enough, I'm ok with that. I know my value, & she just wants different.

InfiniteMajesty98 · 2023-10-23T02:15:11+00:00

I was overweight growing up and would beat myself up for not having a girlfriend very often. When I lost weight and started getting attention from women, it alleviated a lot of my low self-esteem. Then I finally got laid and found myself wondering why I ever stressed over women in the first place. It was a good time, of course, but not worth the amount of shit I had to put up with and the time I had to waste to get to that point.

Delicious-Agency-824 · 2023-10-23T03:13:03+00:00

Make sex transactional.

That means you will be glad you are rejected.

Not wasting time with worthless women that prefer someone else.

Money makes women makes decisions more quickly.

No means good bye.

The problem is not rejection.

The problem is wasting time and money on worthless relationship.

I would very much prefer being rejected than marrying and pay alimony

Marriage sucks anyway.

In my country yiu can just pay and there is no reason to spend more.

Drag0nV3n0m231 · 2023-10-22T18:24:11+00:00

Edit: above all else DO NOT LISTEN TO THE OTHER COMMENTS. Ffs all the doomer forever alone shit and nasty personalities is precisely why they are like that.

Before my current partner, it would get to me sometimes, about being lightly rejected or friendzoned but the reality is that you need to stop actively looking for a relationship to get a good one. It reeks and comes off as desperate. You should be trying to make friends with people and then go from there. No, it’s not bad if you still ask people out but you should be trying to be casual to begin and then ask them out a bit later. Yes, I know you’ll say “but I’ll be friendzoned!” But you should want to have more female friends to give you advice and meet their friends. You’ll be seen so much better if you’re nice to other women and can manage a friendship with them, and if you really want to date them you can just be patient; I’ve had many chances with people I was just friends with, my current partner is someone I was just friends with since 2020. If you are nice, thoughtful, considerate, and confident, you do not need to be very attractive, there is a reason average people(like me honestly) have hot partners, because it’s pretty easy if you just remain patient and are genuinely nice and thoughtful. You don’t even have to worry about what you look like physically if you take care of yourself properly, not even meaning a full care routine just showers and not ratty clothes. Remember that anyone that doesn’t listen to you or care about any of your interests is not someone you want to date.

Be confident, try not to let something as simple as a woman saying no get to you. You have more worth. And don’t put a relationship on a pedestal. It’s lovely but you’ll likely be disappointed by the reality if you have so much of an ideal view of it.

Sad_Bell_6266 · 2023-10-22T10:11:58+00:00

if you're insecure about this then your best choice is to achieve a good physique, take care of your looks and earn lots of money and social status. then find a girl that's crazy about you instead of wasting energy on multiple relationships.

Technical-Canary-687 · 2023-10-22T16:22:41+00:00

This is part of the package of being a man, you’re gonna get rejected a lot. Just don’t force it. There are a lot of subconscious cues when approaching a woman so while you’re making attempts to get one, work on yourself.

fatganer1991 · 2023-10-22T19:40:21+00:00

Take the black pill

MennQ · 2023-10-22T15:48:21+00:00

Stop spending your time chasing butterflies, cuz they'll fly away.

Instead, spend your time creating a beautyful garden so the butterflies are more likely to come.

Marc123123 · 2023-10-22T09:54:12+00:00

When I was your age I usually used to have different live-in girlfriend every few years or so. And then at some point I just stopped being bothered at all as living with someone was more hassle than it was worth.

melkiorr · 2023-10-22T15:34:13+00:00

If instead you use all that pain ... effort, money and determination on improving yourself daily. Imagine where you will be in a year. Imagine what you will become.

Think you will care about being rejected in a year ? Pain is a good teacher. Listen.

What are you waiting for ?

SoumarRu · 2023-10-22T17:03:12+00:00

Consider it like a game and don’t take it too seriously 😳

bullmetalblackmoon · 2023-10-22T19:31:30+00:00

I don’t take myself seriously so I don’t care

Snoo43790 · 2023-10-22T19:51:03+00:00

brotherhood

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-10-22T19:07:12+00:00

Like water off a ducks back. When you don’t actually care what they think of you they have no power over you.

Objective_Moment3114 · 2023-10-22T21:03:07+00:00

Go fishing

sshah528 · 2023-10-22T22:33:45+00:00

Don't ask.

Zauxst · 2023-10-23T02:52:28+00:00

Thick skin. This is what you need.

Would you date an ugly fat girl? If you could choose between a supermodel and that which was mentioned?

I wouldn't. My eyes would probably not even see her in a crowd unless she stumbled on my feet...

Now multiply that and understand what you are competing against. Girls have the option to choose for a better option. You have to either become that option, or you'll get out of the genepool.

You have to understand the other side and deal with rejections and actual incompatibilities... think that if a girl rejects you, it's probably for the better... you probably didn't "vibe" (I hate this word but it describes the situation).

Do whatever stands in your power to improve yourself. If it still doesn't work, you will become the best version of yourself.

Good luck.

Acrobatic-Fun-3281 · 2023-10-23T16:51:30+00:00

I gave up cold-approaching long ago. I'm autistic, and even though I've got more racetrack behind me than in front (I'm 52) I've never once made it work. My high-functioning autism, I suspect, has a lot to do with that.

Mostly I have focused on building a social network. I started with professional contacts and it has branched out from there. If not for the concept of social proof and my ability to use it, I never would have made it this far

entredeuxeaux · 2023-10-22T19:34:34+00:00

This has nothing to do with men’s rights.

Round_Swordfish1445 · 2023-10-23T00:46:46+00:00

Subjective:

At young age, being disgusted how people talked about "book morale" while belonging to streets. I focused on myself. Career, learning, traveling.

And when you are self-sufficient, knowing (1) "WHATEVER HAPPENS, I WOULD BE FINE", and starting enjoying being alone, there is no fear of rejection. You simply don't give a f*ck.+, because (1).

There is another problem, hover. Not enough motivation to seek for relationship. And yet another filter: does this woman worth risking my peacefull life? Nah, I'm fine. (with rare exceptions)

on3on3_ · 2023-10-23T04:12:18+00:00

Do what I do and never ask, if you never ask you never get rejected

LaughingStockTheBoat · 2023-10-23T05:52:45+00:00

You don't cope, you just give up and accept defeat.

That's what I did, I've accepted that I'm a loser and will always be a loser in the eyes of women

Independent-Pea978 · 2023-10-23T06:59:14+00:00

Only "cope" i can give you that its normal to be rejected 9/10.

You need to let go of the fear to be rejected.

Altruistic-Cold-7074 · 2023-10-23T07:24:06+00:00

Trips to Asia

BEEZ128 · 2023-10-23T08:03:03+00:00

There’s a good line out there, it goes like this:

“The more no’s you get the closer you are to a yes.”

I also look at it like this: work on yourself so much that whoever rejected you, is worse off without you. Become the prize. Don’t go out of your way to rub it in their face though, just smile, wish her good luck and move on to the next chick. Chin up brother.

Automatic_Survey_307 · 2023-10-23T09:25:55+00:00

Maybe be more discerning when selecting women to approach - have a look at the sort of things they're interested in and the way they present themselves and try and find a woman with substance who aligns with your values. Don't waste time with superficial women.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2023-10-23T11:31:28+00:00

opiates

Acceptable_Visit604 · 2023-10-23T12:51:47+00:00

I think you should try and just not go after them anymore for at least a while, try to focus on other things in life bc women these days are hardly worth it it seems

fuckthemoddsofreddit · 2023-10-23T15:52:54+00:00

Accept that you arent wanted and move on

NebulaNomad1 · 2023-10-26T18:02:35+00:00

One thing that really helped me is a video I recently came across that offered some insights. I hope it can provide clarity and comfort for you as well. https://youtu.be/7TYOCfpP3Xw?si=U8QTeQkIu9JlbfEl

Title	How to cope with the amount of rejection you get as a man?
Author	Dire-Octopus
Upvotes	151
Comments	81
Date	October 22, 2023 7:25 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/17dnray/how_to_cope_with_the_amount_of_rejection_you_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-to-cope-with-the-amount-of-rejection-you-get.1235965 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235965

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