Is Mediation Pointless?

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-11-19T14:00:59+00:00

No, a trial would be a waste of time and money.

My advice would be to secure 50/50 custody as your top priority. The financial portion really just boils down to numbers - secure your children first and the rest will fall into place even if it takes multiple sessions.

Don’t get caught up in details, details cost money. Your goal should be to get a deal done even if that means taking a small L to get it over with when it comes to the money.

I successfully completed mediation last month and came out feeling great about it. Any questions let me know.

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-11-19T16:48:20+00:00

I’ll suggest mediation only if the first order of business is parenting time and you get to a quick resolution. I spent about 9 months of hell in mediation as my ex’s attorneys badgered me and my own legal counsel hung me out to dry. I did secure 50/50 parenting time but it was the worst year of my life and still had to go to court for finances.

If you’re dealing with an unreasonable person mediation is a waste of time and money. I think I suffer from PTSD from the hell of mediation. Just a bunch of leeches, attorneys, and finance people churning billable hours

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-11-19T14:16:52+00:00

I have mediation next month but it's only about my daughter, we've agreed between us on a 223 schedule and have been doing it for 5 months now, she moved out right before we agreed upon the schedule I'm hoping she doesn't do anything crazy

ForgottenSon2 · 2023-11-20T02:30:23+00:00

My mediation was a waste of $800 and 6 hours. We knew what we had from the custody evaluator and the state law. Ex-wife wanted to act snooty the whole time and refuse everything until we just called it. Went to court and got what I wanted which was 50/50 and a percentage of the house and her retirement. On top of that she has to pay me child support.

Old_Rough_4404 · 2023-11-19T14:25:56+00:00

So for mediation is it best to discuss one topic at a time, reach an agreement on that item before moving onto the next?

NefariousNaz · 2023-11-19T18:46:02+00:00

We spent $50,000 in ongoing meditation and other attorney fees from ex who made unreasonable demands. I'm thinking court would have been cheaper.

Flapique · 2023-11-19T18:47:22+00:00

It was for me... Total rouse just so she could keep me paying the bills for her to live in our house by herself for an extra 3-4 months. I wish I had stood my ground and said no. If you feel like you're getting taken for a ride then you probably are. You can't trust her to be reasonable and want to do the right thing even if it means the kids get hurt. Protect yourself and the kids, fuck that cunt.

yosemitesam00 · 2023-11-19T21:22:14+00:00

Mediation has been a failure for me because my stbx is demanding full legal and physical custody, even though the judge told her she wouldn't get full custody in a temporary orders hearing and I'm not budging on 50/50. I want to be involved with my kids, she's looking for the biggest meal ticket possible.

Edit: First round, impasse because of custody.

Second round, she reached out at the 11th hour to propose mediation again after waiting months for trial. I foolishly agreed and it was purely a ruse to buy more time. Trial is now delayed into 2024.

There's no do-overs now, I'll see her in court.

Chemical-War-5380 · 2023-11-20T01:32:52+00:00

You need to go to mediation with a plan that your lawyer knows of. It shows you are trying to be reasonable. Go to mediation and make an attempt only to go back to litigation

aquatic-dreams · 2023-11-20T02:24:44+00:00

Not at all. Shit, she had mediation scheduled four weeks to the day of kicking me out, I didn't know anything at that point. So she agreed to push it back a couple months so I could at least start to accept n the divorce. I controlled the finances, but she made the vast majority of the money. So there weren't any weird hidden assets sort of thing. We talked on the phone twice, and made an agreement between the two of us. We had our mediator meeting on zoom, and where we had already had most of it agreed upon, it didn't take long, didn't cost much, as was way less stress than having lawyers argue about shit. And the mediator took care of all the legal shit. I just had to read a short novel to make sure it was correct and sign it.

Retying3043 · 2023-11-20T03:52:17+00:00

Mediation is typically pointless unless you have a trial date set.

CaliDude75 · 2023-11-20T19:07:37+00:00

Depends on how amicable the process is. My ex consulted an attorney, so I figured I had no choice but to lawyer up too. I just didn’t want it to be a lopsided playing field.

Salty-Rutabaga-3329 · 2023-11-20T22:35:54+00:00

Kids typically mean lawyering up. "She will fight" pretty much seals that.

Perhaps have a sit down and figure out how far apart you are.

Title	Is Mediation Pointless?
Author	Old_Rough_4404
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	November 19, 2023 1:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17yxiir/is_mediation_pointless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-mediation-pointless.1238840 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238840

Comments