CMV The primary reason why for example Drug dealers have success with women is not because they are „hypermasculine“, it is because they fit perfectly in the „women like men with a interesting life“ theory.

milquetoastmf · 2023-12-10T14:37:48+00:00

Repost as debate

TonysCatchersMit · 2023-12-10T12:58:35+00:00

Or maybe it’s because he has drugs.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-12-10T13:57:21+00:00

Let's not forget the obvious... there's people who like being with drug dealers for the same reasons there's people who like being drug dealers. It's that simple. The gay guy who deals in his gay social circles gets plenty of action too. I don't have enough lesbian friends to know if the drug dealers in lesbian social circles get more action but I suspect they do.

We need to recognise the incessant whining about drug dealers getting sex for what it is...the usual male attitude that those women are "our" women not "their" women... totally ignoring the fact she's her own woman and if her penchant for fast money a more intense life through herbs and chemicals makes her choose a drug dealer instead of a software engineer..she never belonged with your boring social crowd full of software engineers to start with. She found her people.

boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-10T13:32:59+00:00

Masculinity is far more attractive than an interesting story.

The idgaf if this is illegal, opens me up to violence. The making money and being your own boss is attractive. Free drugs doesn't hurt either.

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-10T14:29:22+00:00

I think it’s because he has drugs and some girls want to do drugs.

mc0079 · 2023-12-10T13:37:58+00:00

Water finds it level. Assortative mating. I dont know why this is so hard to grasp. The scuzzy street dealer is going to attract the women equivalent. You think the marketing chick who went to college and was in a sorority is messing with the drug dealer? no she's with frat finance guy.

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-10T14:31:55+00:00

yall are overthinking it. These women want drugs, and are using sex/attention to get drugs (and he has money - and as a bonus, to be a drug dealer you should have the ability to not get pushed around).

Most drug dealers live pretty boring lives, they buy their stuff through a contact and sell their stuff to customers and that’s that - it isn’t particularly interesting

Werkgxj · 2023-12-10T13:34:57+00:00

Not all wonen are interested in drug dealers only the dumb ones.

Being with a drug dealer only sets you up for becoming the victim of violence, raising a kid alone, getting involved with drugs yourself, problems with law enforcement.

People who don't see that fall under the category 'natural selection' for me.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-10T13:31:41+00:00

Just take a look at the TV shows most women consume. Reality TV, celebrity drama, tabloids. Women love drama and can't get enough of it. It's called emotional tension.

The problem is that the boring accountant with a nice 401K and paid off mortgage doesn't really offer any drama. It's like watching paint dry. But the guy who doesn't always have his life together, who's here today and is gone tomorrow and/or always getting trouble or about to get in trouble, the guy her dad would hate - now that's exciting! So much drama there! It's like watching the Superbowl, World Cup and NBA Finals all in one.

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-10T13:19:45+00:00

They're not interesting though. Having a partner who's stuck in prison or has spent large portions of their life stuck in prison is really boring. Being in and out of court is boring. Your partner not doing anything exciting because their time is taken up by drugs and gang stuff is boring. They don't tend to move around a lot or do a lot of interesting things or have the most charismatic personalities. If they had an interesting and unique personality the most exciting thing about them wouldn't be crime, and maybe it's just about where I'm from but it gets old quickly, there isn't much interesting to say about selling drugs just because it's messy. The clients someone deals with are more boring than the average retail job, addicts don't tend to have great stories to share, it's just sad. I feel like you maybe think that films about criminals and drug dealers are indicators of what they're really like, but gangs don't actually tend to be full of many interesting people.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-10T14:13:58+00:00

People that like drug dealer like the fact that dude probably knows how to handle himself in a situation (no one goes: oh that poor drug dealer is getting bullied!). And they have drugs. Oh, And sometimes cash readily available.

TechnicalMiddle8205 · 2023-12-10T13:42:05+00:00

Or maybe they have money and status?

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2023-12-10T14:31:30+00:00

society isn't ready to talk about the true nature of female desire. Contrary to what men are being told, the more amoral you are as a man the more romantically/sexually abundant you will be. If unattractive men were actually as terrible as claimed they would ironically be successful with women, being a good person means nothing.

BeneficialTop5136 · 2023-12-10T14:36:14+00:00

This is a great perspective. Yes, all the types of men you describe give off an air of mystery. They’re interesting to the opposite sex because they have a whole life outside of the relationship. Oftentimes they aren’t needy and don’t smother. A girl in her late teens/20s may see a drug dealer as an enigma, which is attractive. A woman in her 30s may not necessarily be interested in a drug dealer, but the same principle of being attracted to someone who does not need you is nonetheless the same.

On the other hand, these sorts of feelings refer only to attraction, and not necessarily long-term companionship or love, as many time the mystery and chasing ends once a solid relationship is established. That said, it’s important for both parties in a relationship to retain some of their mystery, flirting, playfulness, etc.

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