Double standard with regard to insecurity

CR9_Kraken_Fledgling · 2023-12-23T21:34:25+00:00

This is actually an example of a fairly common rhetorical tactic, that I don't know the name of, tho it probably has one. It is portraying one person as a member of the group, and the other as an individual, depending on which is advantageous to you. If your rhetorical goal is that men are never victims, this is a great tool:

In your insecurity example, the men are individuals, women are a class. Women's situation is analysed through the lense of how large societal structures affect large groups, while for men, it is assumed that no such structures are there, they are not treated as a class.

For the reverse, look at misogyny vs misandry, where a misogynist man is always the example of a large patriarchal system, and a misandrist woman is always just a bad person, with no larger implication.

MSHUser · 2023-12-23T22:46:19+00:00

This post has put this into words. Men's insecurities I have noticed are spoken about as a character flaw. And even when people understand where someone's insecurities are coming from, they offer no sympathy or consideration of their plight and just tell them to "work on it" (no problem there as that's what we generally need to do with our insecurities in order for them to not define us.) Even then, media portrays women's insecurities as inward (criticizes herself) but men's insecurities as outwards (affecting others around them.)

safestuff987 · 2023-12-23T22:54:37+00:00

I tend to notice this as well, especially in online circles. If a man has an insecurity, he's told that he needs to pull up his socks and work on it. If a woman has an insecurity, it's totally valid because it's someone else's fault and they have to put in the work to make her feel better.

throwburneraway2 · 2023-12-24T03:13:53+00:00

Finally someone says it. If you appear remotely insecure as a man then it's a character flaw and all sorts of bad qualities are projected onto you. But insecure women are victims of society and never use their insecurities to be toxic. Also it's funny that people always tell men to work on their insecurities before dating someone, but if you ever go outside, basically every woman is pretty overtly insecure even when you date them.

Dashing2025 · 2023-12-23T23:15:12+00:00

What's wrong with being insecure? If you see a particular threat somewhere in the world, it is only sensible to do your best to avoid it.

Maffioze · 2023-12-24T10:33:20+00:00

I think its even worse than this. People also link men's behaviour to insecurity almost immediately even when it isn't warranted, suggesting their behaviour is inappropriate, while for women it is just assumed that her behaviour was appropriate and justified in said situation.

hottake_toothache · 2023-12-24T14:27:08+00:00

People don't care about men.

BKEnjoyerV2 · 2023-12-24T06:16:55+00:00

In my own experience, insecurity in men is either taken as a sign of self-satisfaction (and people will just leave you alone) or more often people will think something negative about you, like you’re either creepy, weird, manipulative, an incel, a “nice guy,” or whatever else they can come up with. Quite a few people take insecurity and vulnerability in men and think it’s all a reflection of something bad about yourself

Vegetable_Camera5042 · 2023-12-25T00:20:28+00:00

This is one of those examples of feminists not actually caring about toxic masculinity affecting men. This is why I always look sideways at whenever a feminist says "the patriarchy hurts" men too.

But the same feminists say it's up for men to fix their issues, not women. Because men created the patriarchy. I know this is pure BS whenever they say stuff like that. Because they know dam well it benefits them whenever they try to not have certain flaws with their masculinity.

If they really didn't care about men's issues. Honestly that would be ok lol. But the problem is they do care, just not in the way some people think. They care about men not bringing up their issues in the first place. If they didn't care they wouldn't have a problem with men talking about their issues. I heard there are a lot of stories of feminists trying to shut down male shelters for male SA victims. That's not the attitude of people that don't care.

So of course they view insecure men as having flaws. Because men have to be confident and assertive enough to pursue them. They still want men to uphold the status quo of the following their gender roles.

They say men created their issues. But they still expect men to uphold the gender roles and protect or stand up for women in dangerous situations. They say men created their issues. But still use terms like virgin, gay, or small dick to insult men they don't like. They say men created their issues. But they still expect men to be the provider that makes more money in a relationship. They say men created their issues. But they still view taller men or muscular men as more "masculine". They say men created these issues. But they still expect men to not put their hands on women, even if they get hit first, and they are totally ok with man on man violence. They say men created their issues. But they still have a problem with dating a bisexual man themselves. They say men created their issues. But they still get a ick when men are emotional and call it trauma dumping or emotional labor, and want men to be stoic about their emotions.

Sure men created their issues. But there is a whole lot of perpetuation of toxic masculinity being done on the hypocritical feminists part too.

So whenever a feminist says lame gotchas like "YeAh bY oThEr mEn" or "mEn wErE tHe oNes wHo cReaTeD tHeIr iSsuEs bEcaUsE mUh pAtrIaRcHy"

Just know this automatically translates to

"I have nothing to say about men complaining about their issues. Because deep down inside, women benefit from men still following their gender roles even though the same gender roles are the origin of their issues. Because we still need to maintain some level of status quo when it comes to men following gender roles. That's why we created terms like positive masculinity, which is just repackaging traditional masculinity. Because we only care about how toxic masculinity affects us, not men. But in return we still expect men to care about our issues. Because it's positive masculinity. Even though we don't care about men's issues though".

A quote from a real life woman: " I like both male feminists and alpha males. One man can fight for my rights in the work place. While the other man can fight a dangerous attacker off, and protect me"

This quote reminds me of the woman who said she wants a "masculine liberal man" LMAO.

In conclusion.

They just want it both ways. They want female issues to be removed from society. While they still want male issues like feeling insecure to remain in society. Because they still want to uphold the status quo when it comes to male gender roles.

And they just hide this true intention in the disguise of "mEn WeRe tHe OnEs WhO cReAtEd tHe pATrIaRcHy". And used that as a cover up on why men still have to follow their gender roles. And they want you to ignore all of their perpetuation and paradoxical views.

Akainu14 · 2023-12-25T01:20:49+00:00

Society's response to:

Woman insecure about her body after years of being told she's ugly and less of a woman for it:

Poor thing! we need to improve society to be more accepting of her body type. Your experience is valid af bby men are awful.

Man insecure about his body after years of being told he's ugly and less of a man for it:

Yikes! he needs to just man up, stop being insecure and blaming women for his problems. Lived experience? It's all in his toxically masculine mind that he would believe theres a social stigma

Status_Winter · 2023-12-24T14:50:15+00:00

Yeah I was thinking along similar lines recently. If a man hears some negative comment about themselves or men generally from a woman they react with indignation. And this feeling often gets dismissed by women as fragile masculinity. But feeling insecure or offended by negative comments is a natural human reaction so how are we supposed to feel? I don’t think men are particularly insecure, we’re just normal human beings with the same sensitivities women have. So why are we treated so differently?

GavRhino · 2023-12-30T03:43:50+00:00

And the irony is that it’s often the same people who advise us to open about our insecurities that then use “insecure” as an insult

Fantredath · 2023-12-23T20:51:08+00:00

Yeah. There's a problem with playing the Victim all the time. You're never going to be treated as anything other than a Victim. As long as the victim mentality exists, there cannot and never will be fair and equitable treatment. It's the reason why Feminism is doomed to either fail or destroy the world. We'll just have to wait and see which comes first, but my money is destruction. They don't have these problems in Muslim majority countries, and the Muslims outnumber most of the rest of the world, and their numbers are only rising, while birth rates in the rest of the world are on the decline. One day Feminists will have to confront Islam, and by that time, they'll likely not only be the minority, but there won't be any strong Men around to do all the fighting.

BloomingBrains · 2023-12-27T07:51:31+00:00

I agree 100%. Its so dumb because literally everyone is insecure about something. No one is perfectly confident in 100% of situations. Sure, maybe you can pretend, but not for real. Its like society's image of the ideal man is based of some macho Hollywood character from a movie instead of a real person with flaws and emotions. But imagine the uproar if men started basing their image of the ideal woman off of Bond girls or something. (This is a motif that intersects with a lot of other men's issues too.)

The only person who could ever be perfectly confident and not insecure about anything would have to be some kind of sociopathic narcissist. And the proof is in the pudding. So many women complain about how all guys are assholes, and its like "no shit, you're only dating the assholes because your standards basically require men to strip themselves of their humanity to please you".

Telling guys to suck up their insecurities and be perfectly confident is basically a form of telling men not to express their emotions, which contradicts the whole "men need to open up more" rhetoric that gets torn apart on this sub constantly.

Peptocoptr · 2023-12-31T23:45:01+00:00

Male hyperagency vs female hypoagency. Same as always

Deep_Soup_2894 · 2023-12-24T05:12:47+00:00

OP is a far right lunatic. Don’t take the bait.

Ok_Theory7361 · 2023-12-26T06:54:39+00:00

Don’t you want to kill lgbt people?

Title	Double standard with regard to insecurity
Author	Jackyboy__
Upvotes	227
Comments	29
Date	December 23, 2023 6:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/18pc5nv/double_standard_with_regard_to_insecurity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/double-standard-with-regard-to-insecurity.1241450 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241450

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