Wife and I are separated. Things have not been going well unfortunately in terms of progress.

I have lots of faults and probably to blame for our marriage. That being said I’m always calling and texting her.

Asking what I can do to fix thing and she is always very vague. Talks about the future in a solo vocabulary.

I get very frustrated and end up getting mad at her for being so cold. She does it without me even asking about us.

Says she doesn’t want divorce but all of her actions and things she says certainly seem that way. When I call her out of in she just avoids the conversation.

Right now it’s we need time. Both need to work on ourselves. I need time to think about it. I don’t have an answer.

But we are not doing couples therapy despite me asking. Every date I book she cancels last minute. No discussion ever about us only about our problems. Nothing positive.

I keep pushing the subject and I’m sure I’m pushing her away doing it but I hate this limbo of feeling like I’m the back up plan.

Should I ask her for a list of things she wants for me tj improve in order to be together?

She is always saying very cruel and hurtful things to me and about me to other people but denies it when I try to talk about it.. Tells me in defensive and aggressive. Even though she is the one causing the problem and I’m just reacting to her insults or disrespect.

I want k be with her and give her space but it’s been 6 month. Things don’t seem to be getting better and she doesn’t seem to want to work on anything. Just we need time.

Things are always so much worse when we are not together. Assumptions and expectations. I’m debating on just showing up and moving back in to the basement.

If she doesn’t want to get back together then fine but I’m no longer giving her control over the time I get with my kids and ownership of the house.

To be clear I’m not perfect and I’ve made mistakes. She deserves to be angry but when does it end?