Married men of r/MensRights. How many of you are happily married and what does that mean for you?

FreakyBoii69 · 2024-02-22T03:48:26+00:00

Well, I was happily married... if u want that sad story look at my recent posts. But as a formally married man, I can say with 100% certainty that it's trustworthiness, communication, loyalty, and just old-fashioned effort. We had that in the beginning. Then somewhere along she changed, she stopped showing affection, stopped trying, started hiding things, and worst of all she lied. I was willing to forgive all of that and try and fix it and find out the problem so it doesnt happen again. Then she cheated, and at least for me thats unforgivable.

Title_IX_For_All · 2024-02-22T02:45:50+00:00

Couldn't be happier.

JayMeadows · 2024-02-22T07:16:34+00:00

Twice divorced.

Financially ruined.

Bound to child support well into my 60's

Relationships don't mean shit if only one of you is reasonable and willing to compromise.

deathzero021 · 2024-02-22T02:42:25+00:00

Shared values, beliefs, ethics and integrity. Thats really it. Although, it requires 2 people who are generally virtuous people who not only have sincere good intentions but also the discipline and dedication required to make it work.

It helps to have compatible personalities and similar goals as well. Its not that hard to find someone you share these things with, so long as you understand yourself well enough and actually pursue with proper intention.

Most modern people fail because they dont know who they are, what they want, and are more considered with hooking up first, and asking questions later, which is a recipe for disaster. It leads to constant failure, which develops into burnout, bitterness and eventually nihilism. Which is why we see so many people giving up and staying single.

PINHEADLARRY5 · 2024-02-22T04:28:58+00:00

Married 5.5 years with a kiddo. It's hard but it's the shit.

My wife and I are happy and making things work. Lots of stress, no one's perfect, but it's all perspective. Any day I get to hear my baby say mama or dada is a good day.

If youre looking for a wife you'll always fail. I only succeeded in finding a high quality partner after I changed the standards I held myself to. High quality isn't scoring a 10/10 girl. High quality is someone who is willing to continually improve and expect you to do the same. Try to be the person a high quality person would want you to try to be. I had to let a lot of my past habits and personality fade away to get what I was always "looking for". In return, I ended with a wife and beautiful kiddo. Success is never guaranteed but you greatly improve your odds if that's what you're after.

FuzzyManPeach96 · 2024-02-22T05:06:27+00:00

Been married for almost 5 years. We have a toddler and a baby. Wouldn’t change it for anything.

Marriage can be work, hard work at times. But it takes two people who want to make it happen for the same reasons. Our main reason is to help each other make it to heaven. Shared faith, values, and goals make marriage a lot easier!

fongpei2 · 2024-02-22T03:33:06+00:00

Happily married. Share the same religion, values and culture. She works as a teacher and tells me how hard it is for young boys who are over medicated and missing father figures. Made me look into the issue and see how misandrist society’s become

Delicious_Sand_7198 · 2024-02-22T03:03:38+00:00

Great answers everyone really. Though I feel like honesty is in order. I am a very happily married 29 year old woman. I’ve been with my husband since I was 19 first man I ever dated. So I don’t have a lot of experience with what “most men” value. Me and my husband are on the traditional side as we were both raised strictly Christian.

Anyways to the point. I am opening a girls finishing school in my city. The art of being a woman is lost on so many of our young girls today. They don’t know how to keep a house, or cook, or even raise their children. They can’t set a table or dance a basic waltz. Don’t read literature. They sit with their legs crossed in church and meet men on dating sites. They won’t have any worth as a woman past their prime. It’s sad. So I’m really here looking for insight in what the average male looks for in a wife. Make sure I’m not teaching them values of 100 years ago that no man cares about. The end goal is not to find them a husband but often times a healthy marriage can benefit all parties involved. Not traveling a path that is scary and harmful.

Sorry if that was long, I hope I am welcome as I am a long time lurker of this subreddit.

LiveComfortable3228 · 2024-02-22T11:15:11+00:00

Happily married for 22 years.

Key to relationship:

- room for compromise. You cant go headbutting every time you have a disagreement about something. You (and her) will have to compromise sometimes. You (both) have to be flexible in the relationship to make it work

- shared common values. You have to find someone who you share your core beliefs and then the rest is details honestly (see point above). My wife and I knew we wanted a (small) family, where we wanted to live and a couple of other "big" things. The rest is really inconsequential. We dont even share the same religion. Doesnt matter. She goes to church on Sunday and I go have a nice coffee and croissant. Win-win. I also go with her on "big" occasions like Xmas or Easter. But if one wanted kids and the other one didnt....no way that's going to end well

- time for yourself. Yes, you're a couple but you're also individuals. Dont lose your hobbies / passions. Dont be an asshole either and take off every saturday all day with your buddies. See point 1 (almost everything really needs circle back to point 1)

That's it really. I think there's also a big component of luck but...you cant control that, can you?

pyropup55 · 2024-02-22T14:22:22+00:00

I was happily married. We had our ups and downs, got on each others nerves, mostly on purpose. She was amazing. We complimented each other very well. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect, we struggled, but we always worked it out. She passed away in November, and I miss her everyday.

kuzism · 2024-02-22T18:17:33+00:00

Married 31 years, this morning I was running late for work, it was cold out, I came down to the kitchen and my travel coffee mug was filled and my car was warming up. God I love this woman.

TallyHelsing · 2024-02-22T20:44:40+00:00

I'm so tired of men marrying shitty women and then becoming total cynics saying "all women are shitty, relationships are a waste, better to die alone having kept all your feelings to yourself." That's just as bad as all the women who say "I don't need men, all I need are my cats" after making consistently bad choices in partners.

LucioFer95 · 2024-02-22T11:20:48+00:00

Not married but engaged man (29) and my fiance (27), have been a couple for 9 years, we even joke that our lives now are BN - AN (Before Name - After Name).

Something to consider, we are native from Venezuela and migrated to another country, certainly we had more important problems than "patriarchy" and other bullshit while growing up.

The secret? Communication trough the years, sharing the same values, mutual support, and honestly I am grateful to her and her parents, because she was raised as a great woman. I discovered the Mens Rights / Red Pill etc things many years after being together, but she actually is the one who had teached me to have self respect, to understand and embarce my emotions. Something that happened during the beginning of the relationship (don't remember the circumstances) was me saying "I am not a violent guy, but if you hit me with the intention of hurting me, I will return it", she said "I do not think hitting someone is okay", so we both concluded that we will never attack the other.

During the years I've let her know when she behaves in a way that looks manipulative, and she apologizes and corrects her behavior, when I've been insensitive, she let's me know and walks me trough better words for to be more empathic, this specially happens because she is my duo, my friend, and when excited or happy for something, I tend to talk to her as I would talk to another male friends, then she says "I'm not your bro, be nice", to the point I realize when I start doing it and apologize before.

It helped a lot that I explained to her that men usually use a negative expression of a positive emotion, she understand that if I say "You are the bitchest bitch here" when she accomplishes something is not something bad, but ask me to behave.

I also share things from podcasts, this reddit and other stuff with her so we can talk about it and share what we consider is correct and not, and why.

I just won the lottery I suppose, and it "helps" not having the privileges of developed countries who have different problems than us.

Drinks_From_Firehose · 2024-02-22T05:24:44+00:00

lol. Marriage has been to hell and back. Fuck.

Scary-Error4119 · 2024-02-22T07:32:36+00:00

..yes..means my wife being the mama of my babies is the most high est honor and title she has more important that money degrees or status.....also means shes the complete opposite of women on social media

mpusar · 2024-02-22T13:26:28+00:00

I’m happy for a while then not so much for a while. I don’t think every day in a marriage is going to be happy. I love my children and ultimately I know I would be way more unhappy if my wife left me. Losing my house and children would be terrible. I truly have no desire to try to date anyone anymore. I’ve seen the issues my single friends deal with and they have all given up as well.

scifipoorguy · 2024-02-22T15:55:04+00:00

In an ideal world, it'd be someone who didn't care about anything other than my personality and how I've been beneficial to the homeless and downtrodden, am in the process of building a video production company, am buying a truck in the next few weeks, and typically always get myself back off the ground after life kicks me into the ditch.

I have the soul of an 85 to 90 year old. Two people I cared about romantically died of stomach cancer and bone marrow leukemia respectively, have torn two ligaments in the same knee, fractured a rib and endured a brain infection in the past decade. I've gotten past it and am still doing the best I can.

If that's not good enough, then I'd rather hide myself from the other gender.

abu_nawas · 2024-02-22T07:07:37+00:00

Well I'm gay so marriage is just like a very evolved friendship?

sethL93 · 2024-02-22T05:17:34+00:00

No one here has nagging wives? 😂😂

liebestod0130 · 2024-02-22T02:46:27+00:00

Trust, loyalty, duty to one's respective gender role (you damn right, that's what I said). Some deviations from tradition may be unavoidable out of pure practicality -- especially in this declining society of ours -- but that's fine, as long as practicalities don't invade, or begin to override, the said core principles of your marriage. Also, I have to say it: love. If you really want to have a satisfying marriage with a person, all the above things are great, but if you don't love him/her you don't reach the same harmony in your soul. I find religion helps in this whole process, but that's just me.

Nathaniel66 · 2024-02-22T09:36:03+00:00

Married, 24 years together and counting. She's not perfect just as i'm not, we're more than good together, although we had ups & downs, close-to-divorce crisis.

At this point i love her to death and i'm in mental/ physical pain when she leaves for work for more than 2 days.

nathanv70 · 2024-02-22T14:20:34+00:00

I'll start with your wording. I think the premise is flawed. There is no such thing as a perfect partnership. Even the best ones require a shit ton of work because every person has their flaws.

I'm 33, happily married (together for 6 years), and we have 3 sons and are planning on having more. My life is honestly fantastic although quite difficult because our kids are young. The days are long but the years are short.

Now with the bona fides out of the way, your best chance of being happily married is being with someone whose values line up with your own. This MUST also include life goals. What I mean by that is you both want a similar number of children, want to live in similar community, have properly negotiated life roles, etc. All of these things have to line up. Nothing is worse than finding out that your core values don't line up. My wife and I sat for years on her front porch and drank vodka tonics while we discussed values and goals and desires. We basically negotiated out a marriage like a business deal because we've so many marriages within our own families fail and we didn't want to do that to our future kids. I've seen my dad get divorced, my brother get divorced, my brother in law get divorced, several friends get divorced, the list goes on.

That discussion process took over a year because knowing what I know now, I cannot in good conscience recommend marriage even though I have a good one. To me, that's like saying 'winning the lottery is a good retirement plan'. No, I both lucked out AND properly planned to get the result I have. I qualify as the exception

OppositeBeautiful601 · 2024-02-22T15:21:45+00:00

I'm happily married. I've been married for 20 years, although not all of that has been happy. We've had our ups and downs. I don't think there's a such thing as a perfect partnership. I don't think my partnership is perfect now. We both have things we constantly have to work on. We care about each other and trust each other. We both love our children. We're a family, that's it.

Difficult-Lion-1288 · 2024-02-22T15:53:41+00:00

I had to go to couples counseling to get back on track, they need to hear from an outside source that they’re the problem sometimes.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2024-02-22T16:59:21+00:00

Married 17 years here. I'd say it's happy overall. The main difficulty is just finding time for each other between careers, kids, kids activities, and taking care of housework.

Cuajinais11 · 2024-02-22T18:01:49+00:00

Married for 17 years with 2 boys. Mostly happy; much much happier than I would be if single or divorced. The main reason I joined this sub was to discuss the damage DEI is doing to boys and men by stacking college admissions and job opportunities against men. Specifically I was passed over for promotion in a STEM job many times by less qualified women.

But yes, the divorce laws are an even worse problem. I got married in Puerto Rico in 2006. Different time and place. Now living in the US, it’s very worrying for me to think how my boys will fare when their time comes to choose a wife. We are practicing Catholics and I think if they marry someone they meet at church there’s a good chance the marriage will turn out fine. But marrying a random girl they meet is extremely likely to result in failure. It’s pretty bad out there.

Title	Married men of r/MensRights. How many of you are happily married and what does that mean for you?
Author	Delicious_Sand_7198
Upvotes	74
Comments	59
Date	February 22, 2024 2:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1awuwd0/married_men_of_rmensrights_how_many_of_you_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/married-men-of-rmensrights-how-many-of-you-are.1246061 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246061

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