I know this gets asked a lot but I'm still struggling with it.

Quick backstory: I (44) moved to this small Midwest city 10 years ago for wife's career and took a lateral job in my field. 3 kids aged 17,15,7. Marriage ended last year after she met a 25 year old dude and married him like 3 weeks after the divorce was final. 50/50 joint custody.

Honestly thought I would be ok in the long run, but after a year, I'm thinking of going on the job market and moving away. Every minute spent here is a reminder of how I was easily discarded after altering my career goals for hers & all because I had the audacity to grow older. I thought I would be in line for a promotion after spending 10 years working for the same college and doing literally everything that was asked of me, but I'm getting passed over for not one, but two positions that I am qualified for. I'm making ok money where I can get by month to month, but I could make 30-40k more a year if I move to Chicago or Denver, which has 3 daily cheap non-stop flights between here and there. I don't have any ties to this place other than my kids. It's not the type of place you can make friends unless you grew up here. In short, things have just not worked out for me since moving here on any front even though I have a track record of thriving in other places I lived during my adult life. It's simply not a good fit for me.

Selfishly I want to live in a bigger city, a place of my own choosing. Make enough money to travel, put away enough money to retire in 20 years to a piece of land that I'll inherit.

The oldest would probably come with me because he likes cities and is close to graduating from on-line high school, but the other two would likely stay behind with their "mother".