Okay but what’s the answer to the paradox?

Bojanglo-1990 · 2022-09-30T05:27:04+00:00

There is a huge area in between pretending to be indifferent and being needy. It's called having a life and being genuine.

Puzzled_Nail_1962 · 2022-09-30T07:53:54+00:00

The problem with this "paradox" is that your first assumption is wrong. Women don't like people that are indifferent to them. Why would anyone.

Women of course want to be shown interest, they want to be chased and they want a guy to care about them. But here comes the important part: This needs to be calibrated to the relationship you have. The trap all the "nice guys" fall in, is treating women like their girlfriend when they don't even know the first thing about them. Don't invest crazy amounts of time in them, before there's any reciprocation.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-30T04:05:18+00:00

you can talk to women without hitting on them. it is normal to start speaking to a person platonically and naturally escalate to flirting if there is a spark.

ChiIdishcambino · 2022-09-30T03:31:40+00:00

Have you tried talking to women

atomant88 · 2022-09-30T03:04:35+00:00

learn game. stop whining. there is no paradox

cmaroguy · 2022-09-30T02:57:03+00:00

My friend I’m in the same boat. Fearful I showed to much attention to her and now she seems to be less talkative and we haven’t hung out in a bit now. Don’t understand the game

aFalseSlimShady · 2022-09-30T05:56:47+00:00

I've had my best luck attracting interest with co-workers, whether I reciprocated thr interest or not, so let me tell you how it usually goes.

I am a manager, I am friendly and cordial with everyone I work with. I probably unconsciously engage more with my pretty co-workers, but I still maintain strict professionalism, as I absolutely do not date people I work with. So I never lead on or initiate anything.

I am the successful, confident, corporate salaried guy who is always friendly and charismatic, but not in a way that makes you think I've given you special attention. You assume I'm just charismatic and charming with everyone. If anyone drops hints, I ignore them. Most of the girls at my job have my personal cell phone number for work purposes, so they can make a move anytime they want.

Two weeks ago, I put in my two week notice. The cute tight bodied latina goth girl started texting me as soon as she found out. She realized she had to make a move then, or it was never going to happen. We've been on two dates and I've had fun with being as oblivious as possible to see how hard I can make her work for it. She's found excuses to invite me into her bedroom on both dates.

See here is the thing man: Women always make the first move. They don't make explicit moves. They'll never ask you out, but they'll make their interest known. Be a man that women want to be with, and they'll start gravitating towards you. Maybe THAT girl that YOURE obsessed with won't, but that's fine. You've got googly eyes for her and you probably need to get over it anyway. After all, she wants to date up, and right now you're probably the safe easy thing she could settle for.

Back in the day it was dropping the handkerchief. A woman is walking along, sees a man she's interested in, and drops the kerchief. The man sees, picks it up, and says "excuse me ma'am, you dropped this." She made the first move, but left him to initiate the conversation.

zapadz · 2022-09-30T05:50:09+00:00

Here are videos that can help explain the paradox

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vob4gUmmgkM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edWnOJENJeU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOae2s8JOUE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYmFAWvk0TU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIsy_HSHkKo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To

Gaydame · 2022-09-30T15:25:24+00:00

Your premise is that women like indifferent guys is false.

Some women do, some women don't.

If you're the kind of guy who wants to show interest then that's what you should do. You filter out the women who want to be indifferent and attract the women who want you to show interest.

You'll be happier with the women who want you to show interest because that's what you want too.

Long story short: the only truly unattractive thing is sacrificing your wants and needs for a random stranger with tits.

ShortStuffV2 · 2022-09-30T08:46:44+00:00

Don't be uninterested (unless you are, and you should feel free to change the subject), just don't be a fake overenthusiastic simp weirdo. Show the same level of interest you'd show a guy telling you the same things she's telling you, but with flirting and derailment thrown in.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-30T09:15:16+00:00

Act like you have no interest of convincing her or receive approval. If you are frequently talking to a girl, it is an obvious option that you are interested in her. Focus on enhancing a pleasure from your conversations, inducing emotions, connection, mutual activities etc. Don't push for establishing a relation, it will appear naturally if the world blossom around you.

revente · 2022-09-30T09:22:08+00:00

So the clear solution is I should act like I have no interest in her eventhough i do

Just be one level less invested than she is.

Dorsiflexionkey · 2022-09-30T11:05:24+00:00

The only paradox is the one you've created. You're taking (unknowingly) the two concepts out of context.

Let me put it in easier terms:

Indifferent = Not being needy

Interested = Showing interest

So, you can show interest in someone without being needy. Example, if I think you're attractive I will approach you, talk to you, try to get to know you and read whether or not you like me back. If I feel like you like me back I'll try to get more personal. If I feel like you don't like me I'll back off.

The issue with people not being indifferent is that they're desperately pursuing a woman who doesn't like them, so it's a turn off.

The issue with people not showing interest is that it either means they're too scared to approach or the girl thinks she doesn't stand a chance.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-09-30T16:37:06+00:00

Women like indifferent guys who could care less about them over guys that give them too much attention.

No, women like guys who aren’t overly needy and super clingy, that doesn’t mean you go to the whole opposite extreme of ignoring a girl completely.. Things aren’t black and white.

It means having a life, and not just making a girl the centre of your entire world.

I should act like I have no interest in her eventhough i do.

No, you have to show interest, but also not put all your eggs under one basket, meaning talk to many women at the same time, don’t give all your attention to just one of them, and also have other things going on in your life apart from girls.

Like i said things are not black and white, it’s all a balanced, and a lot of grey areas.m with different tonalities. Calibration is a skill that you practice by talking to many women…

Read a book on dating like “Models” or “Make Her Horny With Humour”

deep2021 · 2022-09-30T22:32:43+00:00

Mixed signals. Show interest then draw back to see if she chase or hints of her interest. But you must shiw otherwise she will think you are shy

Reasonable-Pea-2772 · 2022-10-03T14:11:55+00:00

There is no paradox. Women LOVE guys that just get it. That means showing an interest to their signals. Most guys don't know how to appropriately react to these signals or more often than not don't even see the signals.

Title	Okay but what’s the answer to the paradox?
Author	MemzNMore
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	September 30, 2022 2:43 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xrq74l/okay_but_whats_the_answer_to_the_paradox/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/okay-but-whats-the-answer-to-the-paradox.1249179 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249179

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