Every time I message or DM a girl I never met in person she eventually loses interest and starts leaving me on read/being dry

Therocksays2020 · 2022-09-17T17:54:52+00:00

Do you even hear yourself?

We have convos for 3 months to a year. Wtf are you doing bro of course they lose interest. you ar establishing yourself as a pin pal.

You need to ask women out. Establish some rapport and then make plans. Period

What you’re doing was destined to fail

Sliding into dms is the lowest percentage game. Worse than dating apps. Do you realize how many dms women get a day?

Butter-85 · 2022-09-17T20:01:56+00:00

I think you’ve got to move from online to in person way faster. Even the bottom of your range (3 months) is a long time! I’ll chat for a week or two. After that I’m done. I don’t care how great his text game is - I’m not looking for a pen pal.

VNF420 · 2022-09-17T20:11:30+00:00

Same for me. My solution was to never message unless to plan a date All women I meet are IRL girls

omega05 · 2022-09-17T18:30:42+00:00

You said it yourself. You do better in person so stick with that

2022-09-17T22:11:09+00:00

Judging from your comments here it seems you were looking for people to validate you and talk bad about the girls you’re talking about, but tbh man 3 months is a HUGE amount of time, of course they would lose interest. Hell, even a couple of weeks is a long time. And if you believe your pics don’t do you justice, why don’t you take new ones then? Tinder and Instagram dating is 100% based off of looks, so obv if you are not attractive or don’t have nice pics, you’re not gonna get much action.

spgh0st90 · 2022-09-18T03:19:55+00:00

Dude, you're hurting yourself. You should be meeting these chicks within 7 days after the initial response. You should actually move from the dating app within 24 hours. You gotta start being assertive if you want to close the deal with these chicks. You won't get what you want from all of them but the route you're going, you not getting shit done.

2022-09-17T20:18:50+00:00

Well, what do your convos look like? Without seeing those, we're just playing a guessing game.

ironmalereproductive · 2022-09-18T02:26:24+00:00

Welcome to our world, bretheren.

Bartallen1994 · 2022-09-17T23:37:43+00:00

Think about it like this, the point of texting a new girl is to set up a date. Spending alot of time texting draws things out and gives you guys less to talk about in real life

Individual_Minute168 · 2022-09-17T23:42:30+00:00

You should try to find someone to help you take some good pics. Maybe a pro, or maybe some girl. Get at least one good one that does do you justice.

Your situation sounds pretty similar to mine, I find if I become too chatty in DMs or texts most women become pretty unresponsive. However, in person I can be that same person and everything I say just lands way better 🤷🏻‍♂️ So I’m very to the point most of the time when I hit someone up online. I have a script that works fine to get people on a call or FaceTime with me where my humor and mild quirkiness quickly comes out and it’s all laughs and intrigue from there. Here is how the typical online convo will go:

1st message: You seem cool (or “interesting”, depending on the type). What’re you up to?

2nd: Tell me what makes you different from other girls?

3rd: I’d be keen to meetup, but first I need to know a few things….

4th: You’re not one of the crazies on here? Stalker and/or clinger?😂

5th: Let’s meetup (or “chill” depending on the type) later this week. Something easy like coffee. Let me know if you’re down. 555-555-5555

If they don’t respond with their number or text me, I say in a day or two something like “You forgot about me. You must not think I’m cute enough 😉🤣” I can say that last line because I’m pretty photogenic and it usually gets a laugh and then they drop their number. From there I’m going to call or FaceTime them soon in order to feel them out and see if I want to suggest the meetup. I do this on dating apps, not sc/instagram/etc. Also I’m 36 and most of the women I’m talking to are mid-twenties to my age… YMMV

Additional_Plant_539 · 2022-09-18T09:54:49+00:00

Texting is for gauging initial interest and logistics only (setting plans, time, location, flirting to keep high interest)

You should have other shit to be doing. You're putting 3 months in to a girl and you are frustrated because you are friend zoning yourself.

Here's how it works

Slide into dm's
Chat for a bit and see if she's receptive, suggest definite plans and be direct. Youre intriguing/cute/funny and id love to get to know you more/your story/see if theres a vibe. Are you free for drinks on Saturday/mini golf on Sunday etc.
She says says either yes, she is non commital (low interest) or she says she just wants to be friends. You politely decline the offer to be friends and say you aren't looking for more friends.
Maybe if you really liked her, repeat step 2 but maximum 3 times. If low interest, move on.
Congrats, no more friend zone.

Another tip. When you text you are looking to evoke some kind of emotional response. If you're asking how are you, favourite food etc you're doing it wrong. If your conversation is getting less of an emotional response than the netflix she's watching then you have to work on being more playful, suggestive and interesting.

Additional-Reply7798 · 2022-09-18T12:56:49+00:00

When you said i text for 3 to 1 year is when i switched off

YouGotTangoed · 2022-09-18T13:34:59+00:00

You’re ugly bro. Sounds like you’re avoiding the elephant in the room, level up

throwaway1247890 · 2022-09-18T15:30:42+00:00

Same boat as you (age, height)

Most of my colleagues and friends tell me I’m attractive.

I have never been called ugly in my whole life. I have also rarely matched with girls that I truly liked.

I never shined through social media or tinder. Whenever I’m out, I get indicators of interest sometimes. It’s really controversial and soul crushing.

zapadz · 2022-09-17T17:56:03+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OZebLs6v7o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gttOMTOuJBM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV5VLJINnE4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h4h1rMjSdI

FindingE-Username · 2022-09-17T20:15:57+00:00

Why are you even talking to someone for more than a week without meeting up

throwaway1247890 · 2022-09-18T13:17:39+00:00

[deleted]

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-17T18:54:12+00:00

you speak to random women you met out for months / years without forming a relationship and yet do not have the rapport necessary to parse what they mean by 'maybe' when you ask to meet up?

i cannot begin to understand you dude. there is so much about this story that i cannot begin to understand. i do not know what the fuck youre doing or even how the pieces fit. i couldn't even begin to suggest anything. sorry.

rusty344 · 2022-09-18T06:29:19+00:00

How can you not understand this? You shouldn’t be having convos from 3 months to a year without asking her out, come on man

PowerDear · 2022-09-18T08:20:22+00:00

I'll keep it short. You gotta strike while the iron is hot. You have to keep in mind that you're never the only guy a girl is "talking to". Use DMs & messaging as a way to make plans to get them face-to-face ASAP.

zed_sin · 2022-09-18T10:28:39+00:00

Texting is a losers game.

It starts from the impression that you have scarcity.

For any guy who have access to even 2-3 girls in real life wont have time to texting random chicks

Reasonable-Software2 · 2022-09-18T17:07:29+00:00

Just hit the gym

Total_Obligation_371 · 2022-09-18T17:32:37+00:00

"I do really well in person, but instead of just cold approaching more, I'm going to do online where guys always do worse. Oh and I'm going to take MONTHS to ask a girl out"

"I'm really good at basketball. I can easily get a scholarship if I keep playing. But when I play tennis, which I'm not as good at, I get beat most of the time. How can I forgo my basketball scholarship and just get better at tennis?"

I can't believe this is even a question. Just go out and cold approach. Everyone gets better results from cold approach than online.

Kidcouger · 2022-09-18T22:57:03+00:00

Three months to a year? Wtf man, Are you trying to be their texting buddy or blow their back out?

I have a three strike rule: After getting their info I try to set up a date and if they flake that's strike one and I still give some leeway

After strike two I might ask them out one more time, Hell I even stopped pursuing after strike two and it ended up working in my favor and they would hit me up and ask to hangout

Granny_Killa · 2022-09-19T03:09:29+00:00

Lol 3 months? You typically have about 2 weeks where she even remembers who you are. Ask them out in 3 days preferably.

Title	Every time I message or DM a girl I never met in person she eventually loses interest and starts leaving me on read/being dry
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	72
Date	September 17, 2022 5:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xgt1xa/every_time_i_message_or_dm_a_girl_i_never_met_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/every-time-i-message-or-dm-a-girl-i-never-met-in.1249844 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249844

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