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Merkaaba · 2022-03-26T18:07:06+00:00

I've been having more success when I don't make sex my M.O.

Idk man I've notice more women trying harder to get laid when I'm just being friendly. They'll start being obvious with their flirting.

I'll invite them over to play games or cuddle if I feel like it and we go from there.

It's an automatic turn off if they sense that's what you want most. So try your best to make casual, light and fun. Like you don't care one way or another. It'll make them feel much more comfortable and interested.

PM_ME_FEMALE_ASS · 2022-03-26T15:21:40+00:00

You need to get out of your own head. Focus on developing and improving yourself as a man. Work towards your goals (not just sex). Take things as they come. You'll be alright dude. Chill

ibanezrg89 · 2022-03-26T17:54:10+00:00

I cant help you guys based on the little information you provide. You really need to post a picture to get an real helpful advice. Otherwise ppl are just goin to tell you the same generic bullshit that isn't going to work anyway.

jayjonas1996 · 2022-03-26T16:18:54+00:00

25m V here and I’m frustrated as well, am extremely desperate now I’m in grad school surrounded by freshmen girls and just can’t go beyond small talk.

I don’t know if I’ll ever succeed but I’m trying to learn day and night from books and youtube and working out like crazy everyday now.

I lack flirting, escalation and showing intent so will focus next on that. Hope we both get there soon brother.

porn-chicken · 2022-03-26T21:32:23+00:00

Your issue is confidence.

You are sabotaging yourself by going through life with timidity. Challenge the assumptions from your post ("I can't compete with other men" and "I'm nonexistent to women").

Challenge means to do things that someone who didn't believe those things would do. Ask yourself "what would I do in this scenario if..." when you are presented with an opportunity.

You commented that you get matches - thats a positive sign. You just need to get out of your own way.

Philipparty · 2022-03-26T19:14:45+00:00

Do you have any female friends? Even better if you have any attraktive ones.

Yes, I know the friendzone is a scary possibility, but a good first step is to become existent in some womens worlds. If you work on being your best self at the same time they might even introduce you to girls.

Asking girls on dates is a good next step. Youve allready set the "were here cause i like you" frame and that does a lot.

Go to parties and just chat up tons of women. Statistically you will get laid.

Lastly, take people who get laid and add some of their attitude and personality to you.

WestwardAlien · 2022-03-26T17:23:19+00:00

Well, keep working on your interactions. You're only 23. You have plenty of time to get this part of your life handled and what is true now might not be true for you in 2 years. Off the bat, if a girl is sending you nudes, my question is why a date didn't happen a short time after that rather than letting several weeks pass. I'm also curious how you asked her out. Straight up asking her to hookup, for instance, would prob not be the move, either.

Careless_Mushroom431 · 2022-03-26T19:25:10+00:00

Have you tried any dating apps?

dheidjdedidbe · 2022-03-26T21:14:38+00:00

You can’t miss what you have never experienced. I see people say they are touch starved and I can’t even relate to that.

Sure I can imagine what a hug is like but because I’ve never experienced one, I can’t miss it.

Meaningless_Ninja · 2022-03-26T21:29:40+00:00

I'm 20 M virgin and really proud to be a virgin so that I can give my virginity to the girl i love.

Iamtheonlyho · 2022-03-26T23:15:32+00:00

When you chase something, it tends to run from you. Stop chasing.

norwegiandoggo · 2022-03-26T15:57:14+00:00

How do you deal with not getting sex?

Try to get sex, try to improve mental health, try to improve happiness, read books, hit on women, travel, enjoy life, learn some shit, take an education, get a job, travel, read, work out, learn a new skill, find good porn and jerk off, hit on women again, try to figure out what you're doing wrong, get some friends etc.

safety_transplant · 2022-03-26T17:30:54+00:00

It's very hard, I am not going to lie. Some days you are going to be walking around the mall, looking at happy couples, and feeling nothing but despair. You feel inept not only socially, but deep down in your biology as a defective animal who in unable to spread his seed.

The thing is, however, this will come and go. You can't avoid those feelings, but you can become aware of them and understand their ephemeral nature -- that's a huge part of ~~overcoming~~ accepting any sort of mental anguish.

And when you're not obsessing over sex? That's when you do the things that make you more attractive: get a job you feel good about, go to meetups, exercise, travel, put yourself in social situations.

In time the women will come, just don't torture yourself unnecessarily until that time arrives.

lefthandedaf · 2022-03-26T18:28:01+00:00

Hit the gym and improve the way you look in every possible way

Pain_Tough · 2022-03-26T22:06:10+00:00

I read ‘dating for dummies’ and went ballroom dancing. Did fine.

baddog992 · 2022-03-26T23:13:27+00:00

My general advice. Dress to impress. Look good when you go out. Read or watch videos on how to talk to a woman. Reading was key for me. Try to make guy friends. Sometimes they will know a girl who wants to have fun. Try different dating apps. These are just general advice because your short on information.

sjwjs · 2022-03-27T00:32:31+00:00

If a girl wants to fuck you, she'll fuck you. This isn't something you can really bargain for, play it cool and have zero expectations. Girls are as horny as guys, don't give them a reason not to fuck you, and you'll be fine.

2022-03-26T19:38:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

KahnKlingonme · 2022-03-26T21:50:32+00:00

Focus on bettering yourself..have friends and projects. If that doesn't work buy a doll 🤣

2022-03-26T22:03:53+00:00

If sex and losing your V is the #1 priority, go see a prostitute (if legal in your area). When setting it up let them know it’s your first time and hopefully they’ll be a kind enough person to understand that dynamic.

Monopoly41 · 2022-03-26T23:13:02+00:00

Be more masculine, be more direct. Do not expect to women initiate sex. Well , prob you don’t know how to be those but you can start by small steps like - if you go to a club with a girl and she keeps her distance . Simply and nicely pull her to yourself small by small -if she makes jokes about sex around you but never gives you , tell her “I want you tonight” like a joke. Then act like you gonna get it tonight so she is going to feel it . Etc, etc

Demonarke · 2022-03-27T00:13:31+00:00

I know it sounds easier said than done, but try not to give a shit about having sex, the more you think about it the less confident you will be and the more pressure you will put on yourself.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-03-27T01:08:21+00:00

Are you in shape?

2022-03-27T02:05:50+00:00

There is no one answer someone on reddit is going to give you. We don’t know you. You have to start looking objectively at your situation and what you want out of it. You can learn how to get laid but is that what youre really going to want once you have it? I lost my virginity at 23 so i can relate. You feel like you’re missing out and you’re on the outside. You really aren’t.

Think about a girl right now, looking out her window. She has a guy that she just can’t get out her mind. Why does she want this guy? He might not be the most smart, handsome, or well paid. Simple answer is he loves women and lets them know it. Not any particular woman. He loves the feminine spirit. He gets a pass.

Lastly, I will recommend Zan Perrion. Like you and me he also was a late to the world of women. His book and lectures really helped me connect with women on a deeper level.

I was here, you’ll get out of it too.

Happy to talk more.

Edit:

Zan did a Reddit AMA on this subreddit years ago. Check it out

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	61
Comments	92
Date	March 26, 2022 2:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tosa4r/how_do_you_deal_with_not_getting_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1263653 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263653

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