I just approached a woman in a bar for the first time in my life (unsuccessfully) and I'm close to crying at how proud I am with myself

TheSunshineMan · 2021-08-06T22:42:51+00:00

Good job.

Rejection is better than regret.

just_another_alt123 · 2021-08-06T22:49:41+00:00

Way to go! Good job. Now go do it again. Eventually it will even become fun (hopefully). Learn to have fun with the approach and don’t focus on the outcome… it can help. Keep it up!

Procrastinator01107 · 2021-08-07T00:02:09+00:00

Each rejection you learn and it becomes more numb alongside this you also know what to say and what not to say next time. Good on you mate proud of you.

lamyarus · 2021-08-07T00:01:32+00:00

I just tried to game the hottest woman I've ever seen in my life. She was a bartender and I knew it was a long shot but I tried anyway. She said her boyfriend was coming soon. So it was an unsuccessful approach. But I feel awesome right now. Finally, I don't feel sad and depressed because I let a chance go. Life is much better when you shoot your shot!

livingdub · 2021-08-07T01:57:09+00:00

Go do something that's also fun to you. A bar maybe is too social, but there's classes, concerts, plays with a bar afterwards, just something that will put you in a different zone than "I gotta game".

jamesatom25 · 2021-08-07T00:37:50+00:00

Amazing. Now you should try to get purposely rejected over and over to kill the fear of aproach

2021-08-07T01:21:35+00:00

Yes. Yes! YESSS!!!

Set a high score for rejections, and eventually you'll set a high score in what's really important.

Bravo! Celebrate now, and double down tomorrow.

thelambofdeth · 2021-08-06T22:50:09+00:00

Congrats OP. I'm still working on this myself and I know how difficult it is. You're now that much closer.

FranangerForce · 2021-08-07T03:33:24+00:00

You’ve done well bro, that’s more than what I did today, time to get back on the horse!

kittycatsupreme · 2021-08-07T15:34:09+00:00

I have been carrying some bad feelings for about a decade now, just thought this would be a good place to unload.

I was at a bar ordering some drinks, had just come in from outside so instead of go back to my seat to order I took the open space to get the bartender's attention.

While I was waiting, a nice looking guy looked at me and made a straight line my way.

I can't remember what he said, but instead of a decent reply, I said "I have a boyfriend." I felt so bad even saying it. On any other occasion I would have spoken to him, been friendly, waited for a more organic transition to declare that (if it even came up at all).

However, I was at the bar with my boyfriend (now ex of course), still at our seats, watching me. He was already a few drinks in, and had a tendency to be very unpredictable when drunk. If he got too drunk, he became aggressive.

It wasn't worth the potential drama, I was concerned for this gentleman's safety and being accused of flirting with guys the rest of my night, until my boyfriend was drunk enough to be convinced it was time to go home.

To that guy, I'm so effing sorry for coming off as cruel. I just didn't want him to see us talking. I hope you didn't give up and I trust you found a great gal, hopefully soon after you saw me.

To you, OP, you never know who she's with, and bars mean booze which brings out the worst in some people.

Keezymac34 · 2021-08-07T04:29:08+00:00

Rejection is the norm you cant always control it. Take pride in knowing you took your life in your own hands and made a move.

TheRealAlkemyst · 2021-08-07T16:24:13+00:00

This is all practice. The more you do it the smoother you will get and also more confident. Trust me a woman can detect that non-confidence/second guessing yourself.

Also the more you do this you will start to be able to read a woman and then know what the best way to do your approach. Some women like it very direct and others subtle, then of course all the various degrees in between.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-08-06T23:01:12+00:00

You should be proud! Way to go!

Be aware this journey may take many many steps. Even handsome articulate men may have to ask dozens of women before a date or even a phone number. If you aren’t super handsome and socially skilled, don’t worry if your number to close ratio is much higher. It’s nothing to be worried about, it just is what it is. Look at yourself as a rare piece of art, that only a select handful of people can see the beauty of. Your job is to find those buyers.

ThisBlood · 2021-08-06T23:09:26+00:00

Chin up brother. Proud of you.

Putrid_Error1427 · 2021-08-07T01:57:20+00:00

Awesome, Bud! You may have been unsuccessful but that leads to improvement. The greatest masters are those who have failed the most (and learned from it).

mindsanitizer · 2021-08-07T02:56:28+00:00

Nice one, dude!

Cobbler_Calm · 2021-08-07T03:52:51+00:00

Hahahaha This gave me a good laugh. Good job buddy

HisRoyalAwesomeness · 2021-08-07T04:12:09+00:00

Rejections are a blessing. But the effort you put in is commendable.

Well done

Southernish_History · 2021-08-07T05:10:37+00:00

The answer is always no unless you ask

borderline_autistic1 · 2021-08-06T23:35:22+00:00

anishpatel131 · 2021-08-07T13:09:39+00:00

Get a grip. Find a hobby that doesn’t involve creeping people out

Lewismcb · 2021-08-07T01:44:04+00:00

Burn the boats mate, Im taking a trip to UK. love the diversity over there.

itsazdeen · 2021-08-07T01:45:43+00:00

Keep it up you will achieve what do you want

krewblink · 2021-08-07T02:10:21+00:00

If you dont vibe you dont vibe

ericviking007 · 2021-08-07T02:46:45+00:00

Better to go down swinging than sit on the bench

reloading69 · 2021-08-07T05:09:22+00:00

it's a win for us king!

McNutz-29 · 2021-08-07T05:33:58+00:00

Cheers to you mate. Keep the optimism going

2021-08-07T06:30:23+00:00

Yo u did it for us. The awkward gang

PrinceofMcdonalds · 2021-08-07T10:11:05+00:00

Proud of you man way to go!

Shadow__Account · 2021-08-07T12:54:03+00:00

Proud of you too!

Benjamino77 · 2021-08-07T15:27:23+00:00

It’s a sad note that our society is like this. Have you ever visited or loved in France or Spain?

Small-Button-2308 · 2021-08-07T16:05:40+00:00

Congrats!!🥳🍀

fuzzifikation · 2021-08-07T16:31:10+00:00

You're awesome. That's how the best of us start. Good job

No_Mathematician4990 · 2021-08-07T17:37:20+00:00

Lol I fuck with you bro. Onwards and upwards! Good shit! ✊🏿

Sharp_Slide6806 · 2021-08-07T18:35:38+00:00

I’m knew to this subreddit and I’m here to learn, mostly out of curiosity. Let me ask you this: are most of the males that are inherently confident and of high sexual market value totally ignorant of this forum and other similar ones because they’ve been graced with an inherent amplitude or high testosterone and just instinctively know how to bring about women. And thus these sites are primarily replete with low market males trying to level up? Some of the posts I read really come across as awkward attempts at baiting a women and it has me thinking this could be too many lower values trying to find a formula for sexual interaction. I don’t mean this rhetorically or with any sarcasm, I’m truly interested and want to get from you all what the tone is. I think, as I age and gain more wisdom, there are simply males that are destined to be more “alpha” or whatever you want to call it and women will always flock to them - they’d never even consider coming to a site like this. Like they’d be totally oblivious to it simply because it’s unnecessary. And then there are lower value males that haven’t had any success with women that think there must be a formula of behavioral modifications that will win them a dream girl (I’m dubious about this). And then there are those that are successful with woman, but are curious about female behaviors and through curiosity want to learn more for future use (not necessarily sexual or romantic), or are capable and high market males trying to up their game by a tenth of a second (like elite runners looking for that split second advantage to win). What’s the most predominant group in seduction?

2021-08-08T00:38:29+00:00

Great on you brotha man. I hope other people can look back at their failures as what makes them better glad to see you embraced it.

Nagato281 · 2021-08-08T03:50:41+00:00

Proud of you bro.its better than nothing.keep on trying it will eventually pay off

Academic-Sort3060 · 2021-08-08T11:30:25+00:00

Onya mate! u makin us proud

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