How do I not care about whether I fail or not?

sexxomatic · 2011-08-28T07:09:57+00:00

Its okay to fail.

TheTrevLife · 2011-08-28T07:29:08+00:00

You didn't fail. You successfully got a number and you had a good time doing it. You just happened to get some women that are too bitchy to text you back.

You don't fail unless you don't try. Everything, even if it's a blowout later, is a success. It's the women that fail or succeed.

goblue313 · 2011-08-28T08:02:58+00:00

You care too much about trying to fclose / make sure things work out. The true way to relax is to not make a big deal out of it. Remember, abundance mentality! They're just a few women. It's NOT A BIG DEAL. Don't forget to change your goals. Make your goal to get better at game, and not to get the girl. The close is a product of getting better at game. Get in right mindset. Another thing that may help in the future to get over your situation is friend zone HBs you would normally try to fclose.

2011-08-28T13:15:43+00:00

by failing a lot and learning that it's not the end of the world

RedPosterboard · 2011-08-28T15:13:14+00:00

As someone who's gotten possibly more than 200 phone numbers the last two years, been on more than 70 dates, and still manage to close only between 1:4 or 1:5 of those girls, and continually struggle with the downs that always follow when rejection laughs in my face once more and my girl pulls away when I go for the kiss, I've come to realize that there's only one truly good way of dealing with those ensuing, bitter emotions:

You have to put things into their proper perspective. How was your life just a few years ago before you discovered The Game? How many phone numbers did you get back then? Back in those days I would get 2 phone numbers a year. I would kiss one girl every 6 months if I was lucky. Nowadays I get between 6-8 phone number in a good weekend, including some instant dates. Getting closer and closer. Heck, will even teach a workshop on direct game soon.

Accept that learning solid game is probably one of the most difficult struggles of your life, but probably also the most rewarding to see through. Whenever I get rejected or girls flake on me, and this happens on almost every date, I try to learn something from it. And to keep the pain of another rejection at bay, tell yourself that for every painful rejection, you're closer to getting it down, once and for all!

My final breakthrough will come this year or early next year. I can fucking sense it! So hang in there, buddy, for your time is about to come too!

scurvebeard · 2011-08-28T06:49:08+00:00

I'm not much of a closer but I'll tell you this, there are like 3.5 billion women on the planet.

That has to count for something.

gadafgadaf · 2011-08-28T07:56:21+00:00

you are still in the hunt! getting a number is easy in the grand scheme of things, it still doesn't guarantee or even indicate that you actually were successful, it was just a milestone you crossed. don't have getting her number be your goal(they can give you a fake number), Have sexual contact with her your goal-be it through everything from a kiss to crazy sex. Sexual contact is a higher indication of success, it shows how much she actually digs you. That way if they don't respond for whatever reason...you are still in the hunt so it was no skin off your noes. just keep working your craft. Like thetrevlife said you had a good time and you tried and got some feedback through scoring her number.

edit: you only fail if you stop trying.

Shotsnshots · 2011-08-28T08:15:16+00:00

You're turning the entire scenario into an outcome dependent one. This is bad. "I didn't say", "I could've said", or "I should've said" are all great ways to improve future interactions, but what's done is done and fretting over what you've done, good or bad, is unhelpful.

Start cutting yourself off from over-thinking. Open a few sets? Fine, you have an hour to look at both the positive and the negative, then get over it and do it again.

How to take on abundance mentality starting out: Saying there are x billion women on the planet is useless for anything but hyperbole. Think about every woman you've had and/or will have the opportunity to interact with, minus relatives. Did you do so? Start there. If one woman excludes herself from your life, you have dozens more to get to know.

tl;dr: stop over thinking, start opening

heckz · 2011-08-28T09:02:27+00:00

Fail enough times you realize it's no big deal.

perchrc · 2011-08-28T12:54:12+00:00

Reflecting about what you should have done differently in hindsight is a good thing, even though it can make you regretful and bitter for a while. In fact, this is the only way to learn.

You're doing everything right. Realize that this made you more experienced and that as long as you keep trying, success is right around the corner.

3109 · 2011-08-28T16:33:17+00:00

You stop caring about failing (rejection) once you failed enough times.

testmypatience · 2011-08-28T21:26:25+00:00

Forethought of an intellectual person is increased therefore adding extra assumptions into the equation of a decision. The negative of an advanced forethought system is that you are overcompensating for consequences instead of overcompensating for fun.

As a child you start off with a small amount of forethought. The only objective is fun and having it as much as possible. The more intellect you gain the more you begin to compensate in the opposite direction when making decisions. You then begin to compensate in favor of self preservation.

You need to recalibrate your forethought. Instead of thinking so much it will help you to force yourself to do the opposite.

I wrote some articles on this today. Strangely enough when you start thinking about how the mind works you end up going full circle as it all overlaps.

Since there is not enough room to post the content all in this post I will just link you to the posts I have made.

I have the same issues. It is empowering to know that you are not broke, just need recalibration. :)

BTW I wasn't going to publish the second two today but I figured it may help you out so I went ahead and pushed them through anyway.

These have been my recent breakthroughs that have enabled me to destress as well as open up a fuckload of sets the other night.

drummer_86 · 2011-08-28T09:36:39+00:00

Try to reframe. Think of how many guys talked to those girls and DIDN'T get numbers. Be glad you didn't get this response: "ERROR: INVALID NUMBER"

And get more numbers. The best way to not worry about girls is to be busy with other ones.

untrue_ · 2011-08-28T11:50:10+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T1LO6nOUdw

This is a good start.

sorieus · 2011-08-28T13:42:46+00:00

Who gives a fuck if she doesn't respond you go 3 numbers so go get 10 more. Fuck 7 of those 10 who cares about the 3 that didn't respond or whatever.

Its easy to not care when you think I can just get another girl there is a million horny chicks out there. What makes that girl special? Nothing just move on!

grub5000 · 2011-08-28T14:36:37+00:00

I don't have time to read your paragraph (sorry) but on the title:

The way to stop caring if you fail is to try so many times that you realise just how many opportunities there are. Then realise that whatever your success rate is, + that number of opportunities means that it doesn't matter if you fail this time and the next 10 times because you'll succeed on the 11th.

motsiru · 2011-08-28T16:28:41+00:00

What I do is I run. I run to numb my anxieties and worries. I've heard other people have other hobbies that help calm them down. The point is to find something to occupy your mind. Its all about learning to control your mindset. Find what works for you.

crushedhat · 2011-08-28T18:07:14+00:00

Op. You should read up on textgame.

lilhurt38 · 2011-08-28T18:16:07+00:00

You go out, approach, and get rejected.When you get exposed to rejection, you realize that it's not that bad.

r337ard · 2011-08-28T18:34:52+00:00

Just keep doing it. Feeling all worked up and focusing on any possible mistakes is exactly the way your brain learns. The more you get out there any try, the more your brain absorbs. There will be a time where you will lost this feeling because you are just repeating previous experiences and there is nothing really new to learn.

solen-skiner · 2011-08-28T20:19:35+00:00

SOS. Stop what you are doing. Observe without judgement. Surrender and chill the fuck out.

MountainMan121 · 2011-08-28T20:23:15+00:00

I dunno how old you are, but you mentioned living in a dorm, so I'm going to assume your about 18-20 years old. You'll have PLENTY of other opportunities. It's only a fail if you don't learn from it. Maybe next time, wait a bit longer, and instead of texting, actually call her?

2011-08-29T08:31:30+00:00

Read it in Sin's (brilliant) blog the other day:

You should care about trying, not about the results.

solastsummer · 2011-08-28T20:27:05+00:00

it's not so much about not caring that you fail; it's about looking at the larger picture and realizing that failure is a necessary part of the journey.

Westdoc · 2011-08-28T08:04:03+00:00

It's better to have done at least something, than nothing at all. Don't beat yourself up over something you could've done, you are only human, not perfect. Learn from your experiences and move on.

Title	How do I not care about whether I fail or not?
Author	mrsavage
Upvotes	23
Comments	37
Date	August 28, 2011 6:18 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jwtk4/how_do_i_not_care_about_whether_i_fail_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-not-care-about-whether-i-fail-or-not.1286950 https://theredarchive.com/post/1286950

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