Focus Less On Pick Up Techniques And More On Building The Man

RobinHeimonen · 2020-07-26T17:05:10+00:00

This is exactly what it’s all about, it’s not about learning the magical tricks to help you get more successful, it’s just about improving yourself and the way that you feel about yourself.

This is the best advice you can give someone who is struggling with approach anxiety and a fear of rejection, since they start to overthink everything that they do and get increasingly insecure since they need advice with everything.

That sort of behavior only lovers your self esteem and your confidence, since you remove all form of control over your situation. You get reliant on the women that you approach to give you a boost of confidence and you’re relying on “smart tricks” to help you succeed with them.

Take a step back, start to focus on yourself and build up your self esteem once again, then the game will become second nature to you.

I’m very glad to read this

GrandMasterB19 · 2020-07-26T22:35:07+00:00

Hey man, I see you're taking a lot of criticism for this. I'm a big fan of what Casey teaches, and I basically combine his style self-improvement game with my own dating successes and life experiences, and these two elements create the foundation of the advice I give. Many of the people here aren't interested in this kind of advice. They are so wrapped up in the pick up illusion that this kind of stuff just doesn't resonate with them. This form of game is about being seductive and attractive, rather than seducing and attracting, and it's not the type of content most people want to learn about. It's more esoteric and takes a different form of comittment to practice. My advice usually gets overwhelmingly postive resposes here because I teach a very natural form of seduction, but the pick up guys aren't a fan. But I'm excited to see other men here embracing this lifestyle, just keep developing yourself and your authentic masculinity dude, it's worth it.

HeavenPiercingMan · 2020-07-26T22:41:20+00:00

The answer is always somewhere in the middle. Self-improvement should be the path but not the only goal, and PUA tools are tools, not a creed. And something people always forget are that we are supposed to be having FUN in life.

The problem is when the PUA tools are aggressively pushed to the lower end of impressionable insecure men who most likely aren't stable, are jaded, have no sense of calibration, and don't even have basic social skills or a basic idea about the dynamics because they are only looking at themselves. Like the guy commenting down below trying to AMOG the OP with the cliché "Even questioning means you're a fucking virgin pussy and I'm better than you, there's no such thing as inner game" bragging. The result will be the weird quiet kid trying to act like a PUA and coming out so much cringier than his normal insecure self that the rejection or the lack of response, the instilling of extreme black and white views, and the subsequent rumination when he compares himself to everyone else, alongside the so-called "tough love" talk when he laments the bad results, will be so devastating to his self esteem that will only turn him into a blackpiller in need of therapy. That's what happened to me 15 years ago and thank fucking god I only closed myself and my emotions off for a few years otherwise I might have ruined someone else's life. But even so, despite these years being tough on my psyche, they allowed me to discover shit about myself that I didn't know I had all the time, and that was liberating.

It takes a little push to come out of the hopeless hole, but only YOU can do it and a key concept is delaying gratification, and only THEN you can start considering a more direct approach.

vardarac · 2020-07-26T17:53:37+00:00

you know that youre a weak man who has no real value

See though, that's not knowledge. That's a cognitive distortion. You don't have to be some tryhard god among men to be an acceptable prospect.

I think of a blog I read a while back where some PUA remarked on how he worked with ex-marines. We're talking seasoned battle veterans who have stared death in the face and are probably jacked yet are intimidated by the idea of approaching women.

They are definitely not low value as they are, their mindset or social inexperience makes them afraid.

clarkiereidri · 2020-07-26T18:00:38+00:00

Yes. I’ve noticed on here it’s full of people just looking for a step by step guide to increase their body counts as if the number is some indicator of their personal success.

tummytuck-haha · 2020-07-26T16:47:08+00:00

seems like you learned confidence

follettina420 · 2020-07-26T20:35:15+00:00

I noticed the same thing... Thanks for sharing!

jrgardenlover · 2020-07-27T00:47:08+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion on Casey Zander. I searched him on YouTube and subscribed to his channel.

redditSucksNow2020 · 2020-07-27T02:55:57+00:00

I'm well paid, look like a model (I do modeling), have status as a locally well known pro MMA fighter/instructor, and reasonably charismatic. Woman will won't come to me if I dont go to them, and they still won't go to bed with me if I don't spit a little game.

redditsucks111111111 · 2020-07-26T18:11:24+00:00

this!!! thanks for the reminder!

proximityzero12 · 2020-07-26T20:24:24+00:00

I tip u boss for sharing casey zander .. What a man!.. He is way past typical dating coaches and only thrives to make u ur best self .. Im soon going to write about how he motivated me to get up and start working on myself 😊

njugiste · 2020-07-26T21:29:34+00:00

So it is men only who have approach anxiety it seems. It is okay.

But many of those who say such do the otherwise or are having great sexual experiences whatsoever.

Anyways it doesn't happen to the best of us.

pratha_meth · 2020-07-27T03:53:13+00:00

he's great isn't he

b3anz129 · 2020-07-27T04:17:46+00:00

Yes. A lot of counter intuition goes into actual seduction. Point in case, this forum is mostly useless. I haven’t heard of Casey Zander but Corey Wayne is another Youtuber relationship guru who teaches a similar idea and I highly recommend him.

I would also recommend ‘The Way of the Superior Man’ (very short) audiobook. It’s a bit abstract but if you are ever wondering what the difference is between masculine and feminine this will tell you.

IratePiratent · 2020-07-27T04:37:17+00:00

Semen retention: i fail at that

Boomslangalang · 2020-07-27T14:16:20+00:00

This feels to me less like a strategy and more like common sense. So it’s always a surprise to see it framed as such a grail revelation.

Be the best version of yourself and fuck all that remonstrating and genuflecting over women and women will naturally be drawn and attracted. In essence, it’s the old meme “be attractive” but with a way to achieve that.

But it’s always good to be reminded of this.

erect_sean · 2020-07-26T20:12:33+00:00

You need both. Now how much do you need of each will depend from person to person but saying that pickup techniques/ social techniques are not worth focusing on can be misleading advice for some people. Again throwing blanket statements can be a bit tricky at the end of the day everyone recommends what works for them.

saidul_shanto770 · 2020-07-27T03:38:44+00:00

Surely it's a big matter we men oftenly ignore

BDEthrowaway69 · 2020-07-27T15:26:17+00:00

I wouldn’t be surprised if casey Zander literally just takes the script from other people’s videos and puts them in an essay synonym generator. He’s the biggest douche on YT and doesn’t bring anything original. He copy pastas video formats, layouts and ideas.

GoldSmith64 · 2020-07-27T15:59:22+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I’ve heard it a million times but I never get tired of it.

ImmodestPolitician · 2020-07-28T11:23:05+00:00

This is ignoring the most important aspect of seduction. Coordinate your life so you are surrounded by attractive single women.

You can be the most amazing person in the world but if you rarely meet single women you'll still be alone.

When you see the below average guy with a babe it's because they are in the same social circle not because that guy is amazing.

putcoolusernamehere · 2020-07-28T15:59:27+00:00

I agree. I wish I had read this advice back in college when I was spamming cold approach on campus. I'd be so much more successful today, and I probably would've got more girls too

eyesopen1111 · 2020-07-27T01:03:07+00:00

Guys who are getting laid don’t talk like this at all. We don’t give a fuck, and we sure as hell don’t devalue ourselves or overvalue women. Chumpy Guys stuck in scarcity, who rarely get action, are the ones who always idolize women and struggle with low self esteem, frequent trips to the friendzone, and stalled or sluggish escalation. Do you really think the problem is your bench press? GTFO.

I’d say go ahead and be sex focused. That's what seduction is all about. You’re learning the ropes. The whole idea of reproduction is to avoid "semen retention" by finding a girl to romance.

raghu_palash · 2020-07-26T20:59:27+00:00

I love you bois

Robespierre75 · 2022-02-27T14:31:44+00:00

Rejection is particularly painful for men because it stops them from fulfilling their strong sexual needs. Approaching women gives you a direct honest feedback on where you stand in terms of sexual market value. Women being very picky as we all know, the probability of being rejected and end up sexless is very high. One can have high self esteem and still experience approach anxiety.

Title	Focus Less On Pick Up Techniques And More On Building The Man
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	558
Comments	51
Date	July 26, 2020 4:03 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hy9e1i/focus_less_on_pick_up_techniques_and_more_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/focus-less-on-pick-up-techniques-and-more-on.1301389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1301389

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