I finally come to terms with seduction.

YeOldeThrowaway · 2011-07-15T20:46:34+00:00

Everybody wants to be more attractive and likable. Pick up almost any women's magazine and you'll find a dozen articles on "How to get the Guy" or flirting better or coming across as more desirable.

Like any community there's good advice and bad. More important you have to select what works for you and what is consistent with your beliefs.

GutterBaby69 · 2011-07-15T23:01:30+00:00

Rationalizations are great.

Just kidding.

DutchPUA · 2011-07-15T20:32:46+00:00

To people who think it's 'not like them', it is! It's like learning a new skill, getting a new habit, it's all about personal development and growth.

You are simply becoming a more complete person. Possible exceptions are those who simply spit canned material at club sluts, but if that's their cup of tea, whatever.

Read the posts of Pook. You'll see exactly what I mean.

Ledatru · 2011-07-16T03:22:31+00:00

Women have been reading and studying all this social interaction shit for many, many years. "Seduction" for men is basically Cosmopolitan for men. Like YeOldeThrowaway said:

Pick up almost any women's magazine and you'll find a dozen articles on "How to get the Guy" or flirting better or coming across as more desirable.

Dating tips, fashion tips, all of these things are becoming more and more mainstream for men by the day. There isn't really a male equivalent of magazines like Cosmoplitan, but with the ease of finding information online, any guy in the world can look up tips on how to approach or seduce a woman.

Women read Cosmo and they wear make-up and fancy clothes. Men have seddit (amongst thousands of other resources), and they have don't have make-up, but they have their style and their game.

eric22vhs · 2011-07-16T03:08:02+00:00

I find a lot of the methods a some guys develop naturally tend to be more unethical on average than the stuff I find in the seduction community. Not everyone of course, but a lot of guys I notice will manipulate drama to absurd degrees, cause trouble, and making a huge mess simply to get the girl they're after.

I've never seen any seduction communities suggest anything malicious like that. It's all about attracting the girl, not manipulating, abusing, or deceiving her.

jimmyjango42 · 2011-07-16T15:36:29+00:00

This idea that learning about seduction is bad is just as stupid as slut shaming.

People who don't understand or don't want to understand will continue to insult and degrade new, important topics. That's human nature, but it doesn't mean they're judging you, it's actually a little insight into how that person evaluates themselves.

Barney21 · 2011-07-16T21:47:03+00:00

I totally agree and I also think that it is the guy's duty to start up the convo because the girl has already contributed by putting on make-up.

little_chickadee · 2011-07-16T06:51:55+00:00

Women don't use make-up to pick up guys - they use seduction to pick up guys. (Make-up is only a tool used to get past guys' "initial attraction test" - since men generally can tend to be a lot more superficial than women in this regard.)

So why is seduction often considered "creepy and conniving" for guys, but not for girls?

~~The DIFFERENCE, I think, is that girls generally don't try to completely change their personalities or deceive their mark just to get in his pants, with no intention of anything further.~~

The difference, I think, is that girls are far less likely to utilize the tools of seduction with their primary goal being sex.

~~Guys use seduction to get sex; girls use seduction to start relationships.~~

Often, for men, the primary goal of seduction is sex, with the secondary goal being to interest the woman in potentially pursuing a relationship.

Often, for women, sex is a secondary goal of seduction, with the primary goal being to interest the man in potentially pursuing a relationship.

So although it may not be creepy, but it's by nature a little conniving, but definitely a useful skill to have since those with the skills generally are more confident and social and fun to be around (regardless of their intent).

Thus, it's all about your intentions, and which "tools" you choose to apply in which situation. If you are honestly just going out there to try to improve yourself and meet the "right person," then yeah, that's not creepy at all (although seduction is, by nature, a little conniving since we're always trying to show only the best parts of ourselves when we meet someone).

However, if you are using these tools solely to "get laid" and add another mark on your headboard, regardless of how your mark really feels about the situation, and you use these tools to deceive him/her into thinking you're a completely different person just to get in his/her pants... then yeah, that's both creepy and maliciously conniving.

I think in this post, OP was referring to the former usage of seduction - improving oneself in hopes of meeting and making a good first impression on the "right person." However, as I said, make-up, for a woman, is only a tool to assist with the initial approach. And as I'm sure all of you know, seduction is way more than just the perfect approach.

Edit: Reworded and clarified what I was trying to say, since my first attempt was not very clear at all.

throwaway-o · 2011-07-16T00:23:12+00:00

I always make a point to look at a girl's face when she wakes up. If she is a monster without make up... bye bye. The exact same bye bye she gets when she behaves like a monster to a waitress or service person.

I am still waiting for a girl who does the same in reverse to me, in relation to seduction. Except I'm not a monster when I wake up in the morning.

2011-07-16T06:09:26+00:00

Socializing a game and seduction is just learning the rules and forming a strategy.

2011-07-16T06:56:49+00:00

Here is how I see it. Some of the stuff on Seddit/The Game is canned, cheesy, and creepy. Many of the people that use Seddit aren't people completely devoid of social skills. Many of them are otherwise well-adjusted people.

For example, I have plenty of strong friendships, and acquaintances, and go out pretty regularly. However, dating and relationships aren't my strong suit. A lot of their audience are just there to learn to skills and essentials that should have came naturally to them(like it has for the OP and others) of being confident and putting their best self out there.

I think the majority of men out there are born naturals. But due to a bunch of circumstances (upbringing, parents, childhood experiences, bullying, ect), they lose this natural confidence and ability to naturally attract women. Think for example of Nice Guys™.

I don't think that following all of the PUA methods verbatim would be really effective. In fact, many of the techniques/terms/routines are quite creepy. But using bits and pieces of the material, and applying it to my defects I think has been somewhat effective.

*TL;DR: *Fuck what others think.

theawesomeone · 2011-07-15T20:40:40+00:00

If you're just starting, learn and understand the mystery method based material and go out and just approach lots if women. When you get that experience under your belt, look into deep inner game stuff like blueprint decoded. It's still the gold standard for fundamentally changing your mindset to operate from a position of abundance.

nip90 · 2011-07-15T22:58:20+00:00

I don't know why people have a hard time articulating it. There are tons of great guys out there who for whatever reason have a more difficult time meeting great women. This is a discipline that allows them to present their best selves through an understanding of social dynamics, and even to become better people in the process.

bokonon909 · 2011-07-15T19:07:55+00:00

Seduction skills as self-improvement? How about just being genuine in your relationships and seeking a woman who is similarly authentic. If the women you seek are unresponsive to this, they are not worth your time. I know it can tough and lonely finding someone. Maybe try moving in some other circles?

revtrot · 2011-07-16T02:58:35+00:00

wow that is amazing: Seduction is to men as make-up is to women.

Title	I finally come to terms with seduction.
Author	shoegazer666
Upvotes	85
Comments	45
Date	July 15, 2011 6:42 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iqn8d/i_finally_come_to_terms_with_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-finally-come-to-terms-with-seduction.1320260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320260

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