After a couple of dates, she reports back to you "there is no chemistry,": Does that essentially mean 'sorry, you have no game'?

icecreamsocial · 2012-12-03T02:24:16+00:00

Just a quick question, how long did it take before you k-closed or f-closed her? Because, in my personal experience, whenever I heard this line it was because I failed to escalate enough physically/sexually in a timely manner.

Edit: And yes, I agree with the other posters that it could probably be a million reasons that don't have anything to do with you, but you should never miss a chance to analyze and improve on your game.

redditalias7 · 2012-12-03T04:53:01+00:00

I think Chemistry is just a term that denotes that she is attracted to you. So she's not attracted to you. Move on.

Whisper · 2012-12-03T03:02:29+00:00

Yes. Next her and be less invested and more demanding with the next one.

shivalry · 2012-12-03T04:54:09+00:00

wat da fuck are you talking about man. honestly, even the guy with the tightest game in the world is going to have girls he just can't click with no matter what. not everybody is going to love you. some people are going to hate you. accept that and keep on going forward, and you'll be a happier person.

2012-12-03T00:25:03+00:00

Don't worry about it. At the end of the day you do not know why she said that. Nor does it matter. Her reason will not be another girl's reason. Just forget about it and move on. You got this man! :D

12_bald_turkeys · 2012-12-03T01:00:59+00:00

What it definitely means: time to move on.

What it could mean: 1) She's looking for a serious relationship and just doesn't "feel it" with you 2) She doesn't find you attractive but doesn't want to offend you by saying so.

2012-12-03T22:49:55+00:00

This is also a great way to break up with a girl, btw.

redditalias7 · 2012-12-03T00:24:57+00:00

Don't worry about it. At the end of the day you do not know why she said that. Nor does it matter. Her reason will not be another girl's reason. Just forget about it and move on. You got this man! :D

Hurricane_Carter · 2012-12-03T00:11:51+00:00

It's her way of saying "not interested" without having to cite a specific reason.

It can mean pretty much anything - your personalities didn't click (aka 'chemistry'), she didn't find you physically attractive, she found another guy she was more interested in, she doesn't think you're relationship material, etc...

bl1y · 2012-12-03T06:22:52+00:00

Nah. Could just be 'cause you're ugly.

MARSpu · 2012-12-03T21:55:40+00:00

Yes.

2012-12-03T00:11:04+00:00

Might be. Time to move on already.

2012-12-03T15:05:42+00:00

She WAS attracted to you because she went on a date with you. You probably cocked it up by treating her like shes your grandma.

Escalate next time.

shivalry · 2012-12-03T06:22:14+00:00

it could mean many things. you dont for exacmple have crohns disease?

budguy68 · 2012-12-03T17:09:46+00:00

Take it as a shit test. I might be wrong but what do u have to lose? Just pretend you don't care and don't know what shes talking about to play it safe.

If shes not a really super nice girl you can try and be risky and give her shit back: "Well you have to be warm blooded to be able to feel chemistry..." her: "but I am warm blooded" you: (trying to hold your laughter...)

or

"ohhh.. Well I guess that means you don't have a heart beat neither...." her: 'F U!" You: (giggling)

In my early game I use to date this hb9 and every time I took of her shirt and got her in bed she would say some shit like "youre not that smooth" That fucked with me and made me mad so I would go to sleep... The mistake I did is that I took it seriously. The point here is that she would give me shit to test me to see if I was a worthy suitor. Well I failed but meh I am glad it happened and Iam glad I learned.

backtothegame · 2012-12-03T06:32:30+00:00

I don't know if a couple of dates means two or more. "There is no chemistry", "There is chemistry", mean pretty specific things to women in my experience. In the case of "no chemistry", it is a reverse rationalization to explain why your interactions failed to live up to her expectations. Generally speaking it most often comes from a place where she expected things to escalate physical faster than they did. I don't agree it could be a million reasons, if it was something else she wouldn't have used those particular words. If a girl just "isn't interested" she just stops responding to your calls/texts or is "too busy". "No chemistry" means that of the three things you need to provide, fun, safety and sexual satisfaction you failed at the last one.

I would suggest analyzing what you did in detail and trying to determine the point where you lost it, almost certainly much sooner than you initial think. Walk it back to the beginning, Grooming, opener, logistics, causing emotional investment, closing. That cycle repeats on every interaction.

If you aren't closing every first date with some moderate to heavy making out you are in danger of "no chemistry". On the plus side you weren't LJBF'ed which means that she at least at one point saw sexual potential.

rucron · 2012-12-03T18:56:31+00:00

I had this exact same situation happen to me a few months back. It was a woman I met on OKC and I thought she was the perfect "girlfriend material" when I first met her. Of course, my old beta tendencies kicked in and I was overly cautious about being too sexual or escalating too quickly so as not to "screw this one up."

On our second date, I tried to really go heavy on the comfort building and chatting her up just like a friend thinking the physical part would just happen. I didn't touch her, flirt with her or anything. At the end of the date I did go in for the kiss which turned into a mini make out session but unfortunately the damage was already done. A few days later when contacting her for another date I got the dreaded "you're an awesome guy but I don't feel a connection to you." By me not wanting to "mess it up" I did just that. Moral of the story: casually touch her early and often, make lightly suggestive comments to her, kiss her when you feel the moment is right and ESCALATE, ESCALATE, ESCALATE.

Title	After a couple of dates, she reports back to you "there is no chemistry,": Does that essentially mean 'sorry, you have no game'?
Author	BillionsOfStarz
Upvotes	21
Comments	41
Date	December 2, 2012 11:51 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1468pp/after_a_couple_of_dates_she_reports_back_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-a-couple-of-dates-she-reports-back-to-you.1343616 https://theredarchive.com/post/1343616

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