Can one overdo eye contact?

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-05-10T04:25:31+00:00

yes, there is a balance you have to find with maintaining eye contact.

if you hold eye contact with a guy or like your employer too long it'll become a little awkward.

but with girls that you find attractive? not really, so long as they're keeping eye contact with you as well. then it's not awkward, it should be one of the most natural things in the world. it's actually creating chemistry and cementing attraction, and if you're doing it well, you wouldn't even be questioning whether or not you should look away or not. especially if they're keeping eye contact with widened eyes (dilated pupils); that's a sign they're into you.

JonnyPowerSauce · 2013-05-10T11:25:35+00:00

Yes.

Dreamlancer · 2013-05-10T08:03:06+00:00

Its a balance. Yet there are different scenarios.

With girls, the more eye contact the better generally. 90% on, 10% off if you really wanted to have a number. It expresses confidence the fact that you aren't afraid to look them or anyone in the eyes.

Strong eye contact is powerful.

However without the occasional break, it becomes creepy/intimidating.

Use your breaks from eye contact when a subject that isn't particularly interesting to you comes up.

For example, if she mentions her ex. She has had your full eye contact up until this point. Yet once she mentions her ex, you can break eye contact with her and perhaps send it towards another girl in the room.

It is implicitly showcasing your disinterest with the subject, and telling her that she is losing your attention with the subject. Most of the time they will get the hint on that matter. Doubly so if they follow your gaze and find it on another girl.

They may get flushed/embarrassed/angry, whatever. But you can quickly nip that in the bud with a "I am not interested in your past relationships, I am interested in you here and now." (Not a word for word, but you can get a general feel of where I am going.)

And this is all spurred from eye contact, and the confidence to say what you feel, and not being afraid to show your outright disinterest with a subject.

However in a work environment, too much eye contact can also be a rather detrimental thing. For example solid eye contact with a boss could be mistaken for subtle defiance.

kabrandon · 2013-05-10T07:32:39+00:00

I got really good at holding eye contact. In conversations where you talk back and forth a lot, it's fine to look at her most of the time. But I know this girl who just talks and talks and talks... And she just stopped mid sentence and said, "can you stop looking at me like that? You're making me anxious." She literally just talks for half an hour and doesn't leave pauses for me to connect, so I sit there looking like a creep. After she said that, I stopped paying attention to whatever she was saying and moved on.

maxormis · 2013-05-10T14:58:17+00:00

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwnglolm9G1qahhxwo1_500.jpg

DrunkNewb · 2013-05-10T05:10:10+00:00

Yes. Professionally speaking, I had a mentor who coached me through a few things as far as posture/etiquette for speaking with clients. One thing he focused on was that constant eye contact is, in some ways, creepy. Plus, we're likely to zone for periods at a time and people can pick up on that when you're locking gazes. Ever have somebody looking at you while you talk, but looking right through you? Yeah. THAT. That's what you'll look like to this hot young thing at the bar as she goes on about her yoga classes. Mix it up a bit.

Shift your attention every few seconds, but don't focus too much on it. Do it often enough until it becomes part of your body language.

jp_lolo · 2013-05-10T10:16:07+00:00

depends. if you're a girl, then yes. guys get intimidated.

recyclablebantha · 2013-05-10T11:50:49+00:00

I've been looking women in the eye a lot lately, including coworkers, and I think it can be too much. Thoughts?

If we're talking about women NOT in the workplace, then eye contact can be as long as it needs to be. If you've created attraction in the other person, there's no rule here. You'll just both look as long as you want to. There's a scene at the end of a romantic comedy that demonstrates how this can definitely come off as natural. I've actually experienced eye contact like this, where the two of us are just drinking each other in and we can't get enough. Also, count me as a vote for the famous "triangle", whereby you shift your gaze from one eye. to the other, down to their mouth, then back up to the first eye you were looking at, rinse and repeat.

But there's a problem here: you're talking about co-workers, as if one rule fits women outside of the workplace AND in the workplace. It would be a mistake to think this. The professional relationships you have in the workplace are different from the ones you have outside of the workplace. If you try to treat women in the workplace according to the rules you can play by outside of the workplace, you're going to have a bad time. You're going to risk lawsuits and/or needless drama at work.

I'd say, go for broke outside of the workplace, but play it safe and professional in the workplace. While at work, of course, make good eye contact but don't go overboard.

achinator · 2013-05-10T13:06:58+00:00

I think you can eye as long as you want as long as you look friendly while you do it. To just stare into a girl's soul with a blank look on your face will creep them out. If you smile a little, and relax your eyes so that you're not intimidating looking you can hold eye contact almost indefinitely. This works with guys too. It actually makes you more in control if you're not afraid to look a guy in the eye, but you can do it with a relaxed look in your eyes instead of trying to stare a guy down like an alpha gorilla.

Willem20 · 2013-05-10T08:36:35+00:00

If you make eye contact, you should always SMILE. From the beginning, or half way through, doesnt really matter, but a smile is the crucial factor that changes everything.

tonetonitony · 2013-05-11T02:37:04+00:00

I used to have a doctor who was in his 60s or 70s. He would tell long stories while looking me dead in the eye and never looking away. The effect was hypnotic and it established an instant rapport. I can only imagine what effect it had on women. This guy was special, though. I've never met anyone else with this particular skill.

2013-05-10T09:22:44+00:00

Depends what your eyes are communicating. If you're forcing it you're probably going to have this terrified determined look on your face.

gadelat · 2013-05-10T12:11:49+00:00

If you are too focused on target, you project neediness. You should have more eye contact on her than she has on you, but you should occasionally look away and demonstrate willingness to walk away.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2013-05-10T14:27:07+00:00

It's not how much eye contact you make so much as when to break it. If she's holding it, you should hold it too. If something distracts you or if she breaks it, that's when you should look away.

SethMemVegas · 2013-05-10T04:06:24+00:00

Of course it can, I think the minute you are uncomfortable with making eye-contact is the moment you should stop.

GforFree · 2013-05-10T16:00:37+00:00

Challenge accepted.

otheraccountx · 2013-05-10T04:48:56+00:00

yeh to the point of being creepy

Title	Can one overdo eye contact?
Author	YetzirahToAhssiah
Upvotes	57
Comments	29
Date	May 10, 2013 3:59 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e1sgx/can_one_overdo_eye_contact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-one-overdo-eye-contact.1352078 https://theredarchive.com/post/1352078

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