Stop seeking validation

trustmeiminnocent · 2014-06-15T22:48:18+00:00

Try reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover, I used to be the same a few months ago. CHANGED MY LIFE.

I don't seek validation anymore, and I feel like I'm truly living life without worrying about others' opinions.

Great read.

PowerSeductionWar · 2014-06-16T02:50:11+00:00

Because:

nobody gives a shit about anything you do unless they benefit from it or it's a threat to them.
when you try to impress anyone you come across as low status or manipulative.
you can never win somebody else's game. They'll always be number one. If you beat them or outshine them they will rationalize a way to feel above you.
nobody keeps track of your fuck ups. Only you do. The faster you make the mistakes, the faster you reach a point where you know how to avoid fucking up.
nobody knows what the fuck is going on. They only know you fucked up because you show it by your reaction. Act as if it was part of the plan and nobody will question it. (They look at you to know how to react)
generally speaking, when you do something with complete disregard of how it's going to turn out or the reactions it's gonna get, people assume you know what you're doing. (The opposite of this would be you looking around to others to see if you're doing it right asif they know what the fuck is going on)

ithearrow · 2014-06-15T18:57:53+00:00

The reason why you seek validation from others is because you don't give it to yourself. The key to stop this type of behavior is to reinforce your good qualities and tell yourself that despite what happens you like yourself and you'll be ok. Try meditation, or read a book on how to keep yourself in the present moment. Here's a good video for 5 tips on how to boost your self worth so you stop seeking vadliation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDgyzWRHLNQ

__Cyber_Dildonics__ · 2014-06-15T21:41:48+00:00

The flip side of the coin is to figure out what you think makes someone awesome, and make sure to put effort into that. When people don't feel good about themselves, it can mean they know they would respect themselves if they did something but for whatever temporary reasons they don't. Don't do that, figure out what's awesome to you and go at it.

agumonkey · 2014-06-16T16:40:07+00:00

Do you catch yourself constantly apologizing too ?

bonerdaygame · 2014-06-16T03:54:57+00:00

indifference.

Stop caring about what people think of you

you cannot please all crowds

dontmakelists · 2014-06-15T19:19:14+00:00

Play lots of soccer, take lots of shots. You'll find that you become simultaneously better at impressing those around you and less interested in impressing them...to an extent they go hand in hand.

FatherTyme · 2014-06-16T09:01:12+00:00

I called this "attention seeking behavior" once you recognize it, cut it out of your life. be conscious of what you are going to say or do before you do it. eventually you will become comfortable being who YOU actually are, and will get that recognition.

2014-06-16T13:10:44+00:00

Seeking validation is the result of beliefs.

There's different types of beliefs. One type is the "survival strategy", which is when you believe you need something to be whole. For instance, a person can believe that what makes them okay is having people think well of them. Or you could believe that what makes you good enough is doing things perfectly.

When you eliminate the beliefs that are responsible for seeking validation, the problem stops completely and permanently.

sunnydiv · 2014-06-20T08:29:49+00:00

I think seeking validation is a core fact of existence, you just need to replace your need to seek "social" validation with "self" validation

How i do it is... I compete with myself, the only person i gotta beat today.... Is my yesterday's "self", and if i can do that, i consider myself validated

This wont fix it in a day, but it builds up over time, if you continue beating your yesterday's self you should see some real changes within a week with a snow ball of self validation

Metalsutton · 2014-06-16T03:14:42+00:00

You can benefit from a nice little ol' subreddit called /r/howtonotgiveafuck

They cover these topics vastly.

Title	Stop seeking validation
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	158
Comments	33
Date	June 15, 2014 6:54 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/287w9y/stop_seeking_validation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-seeking-validation.1372168 https://theredarchive.com/post/1372168

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