Hey Seddit, what's going on.
This is less about dating specifically, but more about female friends (and yes of course sometimes there is interest). I'm a pretty generous guy - it's not uncommon that if it's a female friend's birthday or a special occasion I would sometimes take them out for a nice dinner.
But what I have found over the last few years is that they rarely reciprocate or show appreciation. And of course a number of them do... but I find that the majority of them don't. Even when they know that it's my birthday etc - they don't offer to take me out or do something special.
Just two nights a go I took a friend out for dinner as something nice the night before her birthday, she later goes on FB and thanks everybody under the sun except for me. So yes I am a little sad and have reflected on previous similar events and there certainly seems to be a trend. I feel like I would be an asshole for bringing it up and letting her know that I don't feel appreciated.
What's going on? Am I doing something wrong? Are they just cheap and or bad friends? Am I expecting too much? Do others experience the same thing?
Update:
Hey guys, thanks for chiming in. Appreciated.
Would like to reiterate that the focus is on female friendships - with dates I run a different set of rules and with female friends I tend to be more generous. In my view there's nothing wrong with inexpensive gestures like a drinks, dessert, or even an inexpensive meal (for dates). Heck there is nothing wrong in my view with a fancy dinner date (blasphemy know) if planned properly - but that's a separate conversation.
The sad conclusion that I am drawing seems to be that females may not be great investments as long term friends GENERALLY SPEAKING for a number of reasons. What I seem to observe is that they tend to expect special treatment, they are never there for me when I am in need emotionally, and when they eventually hook up a SO they disappear.
In the end, I let her know straight up how I felt. I maintained a calm tone and let her know that I was a little sad that she thanked everyone and seemed to have forgotten about me. She apologised and I guess that is that.
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