How do you date good looking girls when you're not a good looking guy?

SinSlayer · 2015-08-02T19:30:31+00:00

The moment you believe you're not attractive enough to date a woman is the moment the world agrees with you. The opposite also holds true. The choice is yours.

not_his_nibs · 2015-08-02T19:54:14+00:00

I'm no pro, but I've had mostly good looking girls like me (which I've blown in magnificently stupid ways despite clear come ons). The part I did right:

You have to be attracted to something other than their looks or at least seem like you are. Not in a "nice guy" way, but in it's the energy that is sexy. It's the fact they are wild, fun etc...
Have a vice in common with them.

Just don't do what I did, and when she's physcally rubbing you, sitting on your lap, texting you to go out with her over and over, don't lose your nerve at the last minute.

One other bit. 8 and 7s shit test way more than 9s and 10s. I think oddly 8s and 7s are harder to game because they are attractive enough to get away with being bitchy, but just not hot enough where they don't need the whole ego boost being bitchy provides. 9s and 10s tend to be much sweeter, and more likely to look past looks provided you're interesting. 6s will also be nicer because they are cute, but have had to devolp a personality and their looks don't define them.

You also cannot be seeking approval. You cannot be preforming for their benefit. You have to have the attitude that they are lucky to be around you. Preferably try to be able to do that sober. That's the limit of what I know. Hopefully someone better can give you more advice.

Also 5'9 isn't short. 5'8-5'11 is the heights were it doesn't hurt or help you. 6-6.5 it helps you.

Edit.

A few other points:

Related to point one, very attractive women often have a lot of very interesting stories they don't often get to tell, and have had interesting lives. That can be what's even sexier about them than their looks and it's the thing that the vast majority of guys are interested in the least. Everyone wants to be attracted for the reasons that they are proud of but usually get ignored.

My obliviousness used to work in my favor because getting my attention wasn't easy. Don't be oblivious but don't wholly be entranced by their presence.

single-dude · 2015-08-02T19:32:54+00:00

If you feel your looks aren't enough to get a girls attention, then you need to work on your own unique way to stand out. Maybe dress better, or in a different style. Be funny, always have a (tasteful) joke at the ready.

Looks DO matter, but so long as you're not repulsive, you not being the hottest guy in the room doesn't need to be a problem.

dougsherman · 2015-08-02T20:15:57+00:00

Suggested this before here multiple times but take note of couples whenever you are out and about. Specifically good looking girls, and the dudes they are with. Some will certainly be with guys of similar physical attractiveness but you will see hot girls with average dudes. Pretty common TBH.

piperson · 2015-08-02T22:14:27+00:00

You are putting way too much importance in looks. Looks are important to an extent but they are kind of superficial. Even you yourself say that you don't want "too hot" a girl because you understand that probably many of them are airheads and not fun to be with.

If you are not that good looking work on those things that you have control over like -

your body. Exercise. It will make you feel better and give you more confidence.
Your personality. Everyone wants to be entertained. If you can be the life of the party hot girls will be wanting to sleep with you. Life of the party is an exaggeration but be fun to be with. Learn how to be fun. Practice on everyone, not just pretty girls but everyone. When you start having fun with people, you begin to get perspective on the looks thing and realize it's really not all that important. Looks do matter to an extent but being a pleasant and fun person is much more attractive than looks.
Confidence is one of the most important things that you can develop. Nobody wants to be with an insecure person. Be the guy that lets bad comments role off of him. Know yourself and be able to laugh at your weaknesses. Ever see 8 Mile with Eminem? This is how he won the rapping contest.

Leo does a great job describing these things well

Gab_the_Great · 2015-08-03T00:09:10+00:00

I have a few things to say:

5'9" isn't short.

You're 160 now but that change with a little bit of hard work.

You're looking for confidence in external things instead of seeking internal confidence and high self-esteem.

If you think you're a 5, you'll only get 5's, if you think you're a 10, you'll get 10's.

Boovs4life · 2015-08-03T02:28:58+00:00

Dude I actually know how you feel. I have moderate acne and it seriously fucked up my self esteem and confidence. I always think people are looking at me and judging me. Whenever i talk to a girl or guy i think they are repulsed by my acne. So what i started doing is i look into the good qualities i have. I am pretty tall and fit and people have told me i have a great personality and i have even been asked out by my crush but i blew it because again, my low self esteem got in the way and i was like "why would she even wanna go out with someone with a fucked up face like mine?" So I said I was "busy" so i guess she thought i didn't like her so she stopped talking to me. My self esteem and confidence are still pretty low but i am working with my good qualities and making the most of it. I am also working out and have been talking to more people (although approach anxiety still gets me a lot.) Anyway yea just work with what you have and hit the gym. If your face is as unattractive as you say it is, having a ripped body will surely draw the ladies' attention from your face. Good luck!

Morokweng · 2015-08-03T03:24:55+00:00

The very idea of rating yourself and girls on a scale of 1-10 is stupid.

Firstly because it puts girls on a pedestal, makes you think that they're out of reach because of their looks, makes it harder to consider them as people with personalities.

Secondly its stupid because if VASTLY oversimplifies the nuances of attraction.

Thirdly its stupid because you're clearly insecure about your appearance and you're rating yourself as unattractive, a rating which happens to be in the very middle of your scale. Which would run counter to many people's definitions of the word 'average'

Now lets look at the reasons you listed as to why you think you don't deserve to be with a girl that you find attractive, and why they're all stupid too.

Your face

I have news for you, most men are pretty average looking. Do you think that people would or could write books, blogs and do seminars on seducing women if it just came down to how your face looks? You can have model-tier good looks and still be a kissless virgin, they post here sometimes. You can be a fat piece of shit and still have hot girlfriends. Why? Charm, wit, humor, personality, confidence - these are all the things that have gotten men laid throughout the ages. Female attraction criteria are not a mirror image of male attraction criteria. If you look somewhat average and you don't have hairy teeth growing out of your forehead, then you'll probably be fine.

Your height

Oh you're 5'9? What a shame you're 1 inch less than the average male height of the entire western world. Here's a thread posted recently by someone who says he's 5'6 and he's looking for advice on how he and his fiance can find more girls to have threesomes with. This excuse is bullshit.

You are skinny

Lift weights. Done.

The real problem isn't your looks. The real problem is that you're crippled with insecurity, low self esteem and a bunch of shitty attitudes that you rapidly need to revise.

single-dude · 2015-08-03T03:51:28+00:00

Control what you can change. I can't change my skin color some will like it some won't. You can't change your height some girls will find it a deal breaker some won't. You can't change who you parents are but you can change how you interact with them. You can change how you interact with anyone, positive energy and optimism is transferable. There is so much you have control over. You working out is half the battle of being attractive. There is so many people if they got fit they would be attractive. You can also change your clothing, find a girl that will help you with this. Most important you can change you mind set. You can stop rating your self and her, play it neutral. Just focus on having as much fun with people as you can and escalate to a kiss. A no will only make you tougher and a yes will feel great. You can also control you life adventures. people are attractive to those that had many experiences, it make us more interesting. Traveling is something anyone can do. The important part is to experience life while having fun. You can control what you say. Read books that you can share with people. Be open and respectful with you opinions and thoughts. Say what you feel and have fun with it. Humor is attractive so crack a joke or two. Funny light teasing and jokes is flirting. You can control your job being a successful business man or a musician are both attractive. Being financially stable is attractive, you can control that. You can even start getting more extreme and control you appearance. Control your body language, your teeth can get fixed or you can even get a nose job. Keep in mind that not everyone girl is going to be attracted to you and that's ok. Everyone is attractive to different people. The difference between the girl you marry and the girl you date is you see past her imperfections. She is perfectly imperfect for you. You are going to be this person to a pretty girl one day.

hiroshito1 · 2015-08-03T06:35:27+00:00

as far as men go looks dont matter for SHIT!!! I have a friend who you can hear breathing while he's sitting down and sounds like a train whistle while doing any movement, (HE'S HUGE) however he is incredibly smart and runs teams of analysts (MAKES BANK) he gets girls I dont have the balls to approach (10+'s) and I have been told Im very attractive. Im 5'6" and have no problems getting girls...but this fat fuck takes it to a whole new level and weighs 300+ lbs! He is a leader of men, intelligent and wealthy. Work on what you do have, stop complaining about how you look like a bitch... and focus on what you do have!

killahsi · 2015-08-03T11:57:05+00:00

post a selfie. no homo but you probably might be a 7/10 not a 5 lmao

single-dude · 2015-08-02T19:29:54+00:00

It's like, girls who are pretty get hit on all the time by guys much better looking than me, so they already have a certain expectation of what type of guy than can get.

Now, when I come along it's already game over because their expectation succeeds me, so I'm instantly a no to them.

Looks matter. It's kind of a cop out to say they don't. Sure, girls place more importance on personality and stuff but if there's no physical attraction or spark there, then there's nothing you can say or do to change that.

juanlee337 · 2015-08-02T19:46:17+00:00

You dont. To be good at seduction, you have to know yourself , your limitations and your strengths.

Harmonic_Minor_Shred · 2015-08-03T01:23:43+00:00

Lmao whatever you feel entitled to, you will get. It's a self fulfilling idea.

Also make up plays a bigger role that what you may realise. Just chill out son.

huws39ysjisef3suf8sf · 2015-08-03T01:28:11+00:00

It is not the looks that matter, it is the amount of value that you have.

You could be Danny DeVito and fuck tons of 9s comfortably.

Source: think of any successful person that you find unattractive, Google his spouse

single-dude · 2015-08-03T02:25:47+00:00

Read "Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo. It will give you a solid foundation in what women are attracted to and the underlying theory of seduction.

You are literally asking "How do I attract beautiful women?" No need to reinvent the wheel, just read one of the solid books on the subject. It's like asking "How do I do calculus?" on reddit when the answer is "get a calculus book." It's a well covered subject now and it can't be reduced to a reddit post that is realistically useful to you.

kyle2143 · 2015-08-03T04:25:04+00:00

Does a chart like that exist for men? I'd kind of like to know where I would fall in that ranking system.

imthemanyesiam · 2015-08-03T04:52:47+00:00

Go to the gym

stealthysimian · 2015-08-03T05:18:49+00:00

Ok long post alert but hopefully this will provide some perspective.

First off a disclaimer: Yes looks matter, & yes women tend to be more attracted to taller men, these are things you can't control. On the flipside you are attracted to attractive women. Let's look at what you're shooting for, you say you want a 6-10 & what defines these features are multiple traits out of her control (facial symmetry, body proportions etc).

Do you see how selfish this sounds? Reality check every guy out there wants a 7-10, even the super handsome guys who can bag a 10 with minimal effort. Hell I've seen guys who are 6,4' who have women falling over themselves to date them, or take them home for a night settle for 3's or 4's because they are easier to attain and they face less of a risk of rejection, or the women are just interesting and have something to offer other than looks. (These guys have also been rejected, I guarantee that Brad Pitt, & Johnny Depp have been rejected at least once or twice due to preference or outside circumstances ie. the girl is dating someone).

Heres what you can control.

You can lift weights and get into insane shape (good for your health and is about 1/3 the basis for superficial male attractiveness fitness/height/facial symettry) this will arguably raise your attractiveness almost at least a point (if you are 5/10 you could look like a 6/10)

You can work towards a rewarding career that interest you and pays well. (more commitment but there have been numerous studies that state that a man's income can improve his attractiveness. Let's arbitrarily assume by at least 1 point 5/10 is now a 7/10)

I recommend checking out the documentary on the science of sex appeal. It defines human attractiveness from a genetic standpoint and is on netflix if you want more info on this.

So you are a wealthy fit male that most women can define as a 7/10 . It's not a stretch of the imagination to assume you can get a 6/10 or an 8/10, a quality girl that just about any guy would be glad to take home to his parents. Most couples typically fall within the range of about 1-2 attractiveness points of one another (you can refer to the documentary again for more detail.)

It wont be easy but finding a quality girl that's in it for the long run is an endeavor I feel is worth the effort. If you work your best to earn the right to date a woman who's an 8/10 then you should easily have the confidence to walk up to her and simply say Hi my name is single-dude it's a pleasure to meet you.

You have this confidence because you know that you are the better than her other options at the moment and you have something to offer her that nobody else does.

That guy who's a 3 who's dating or married to an 8 (think Jay-Z & Beyonce) had the confidence to believe he was worthy of her or has something to offer her that nobody else does.

If you need more information on how to approach then I'm more than confident that browsing this sub will provide invaluable advice. I simply feel that pick up lines are too superficial and devalue your worth I prefer being genuine (women are people too who can smell bullshit).

So will you get rejected, yes everyone does at some point or another but I can almost guarantee that you will be happier that you approached than if you twiddled your thumbs and wondered what if. When you do find that girl who takes your breath away and say yes you will forget about all the ones who said no (it was their loss anyways). Let that frustration drive you to become a better person in life but that's just my two-cents good luck.

recyclablebantha · 2015-08-03T06:33:35+00:00

If they are too good looking I'm not attracted to them and won't even bother because I've been given the "ew" look way too many times without even saying a word.

Girls will give that "ew" look to guys with low confidence.

I'm short and skinny (5'9" 160lbs) and like a 5/10 face so the girls I'm into won't be into me.

There is not some universal scale of beauty that a council of people vote on and that all of us must follow. Your 10 point scale is a matter of personal taste.

You are looking at this incorrectly. This is a matter of PREFERENCE. Every person out there has different personal tastes. And you must mistake yourself for a telepath if you think you can know just by looking at someone, what their taste is. That's like looking at someone and assuming that they like a certain kind of food. You can't know that until you get in there.

Do I go for girls I'm not attracted to because it's the best I can do?

Sure, if you want to be unhappy.

You are literally creating your own reality here. I've seen guys with model good looks, shoot themselves down over and over again, even when girls were throwing themselves at them. And I've seen a chubby guy with wide set eyes and a huge over-bite, score attractive girls in the most ridiculous situations. People have their own preferences as far as the looks of the person they will get with, but it's not determined by their appearance.

2015-08-03T08:19:00+00:00

The whole number scale is bullshit anyways. When I see women I only differ between 1 and 0. Attraction or not.

If you rate them on a scale from 1-10 you are making yourself inferior and you are not.

If you want that 8/10 HBs or whatever are attracted to you; be one yourself.

2015-08-04T00:48:17+00:00

good looking girls do not date unattractive men

LOOKS MONEY STATUS >

locotx · 2015-08-03T03:05:44+00:00

Be confident, make money and learn how to fuck. That's about it.

Everything else is trivial. If you want the true secret. Whatever woman you want to have . . make her smile. It's that easy. Learn what makes her smile and make her smile.

Now the problem comes when you find out one woman smiles if you buy her rich things. Another smiles when you can give her 10 orgasms in a row and make her squirt. Another smiles when she stays at home and you provide everything. So making a woman smile is easy, but what makes her smile is the deal breaker.

Just a word of advice from an experienced veteran. Some of the hottest women in the world are the most lonliest, but don't fool yourself. Many know what they have and can leverage it to get what they want. So don't get played. However, don't under estimate the average looking girls, they are dying for some fun playtime and trust me they are ready and willing. In college, I played wingman for a friend of mine who was dating this hotties but I got stuck with her curvy friend. To this day, she was the best fuck I ever had.

myluckranout · 2015-08-03T01:21:55+00:00

all this hard work & effort put into human beings that lie and cheat... how depressing.

Title	How do you date good looking girls when you're not a good looking guy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	56
Comments	91
Date	August 2, 2015 7:25 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3fjbv1/how_do_you_date_good_looking_girls_when_youre_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-date-good-looking-girls-when-youre-not.1391951 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391951

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