I lack the sex drive to pursue a girl.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-11T11:49:31+00:00

You probably don't have a testosterone problem. I think this, like 'genetics' is a bit overrated.

Stop jerking off, stop watching porn.
Eat right
Sleep enough, but not too much
be active/gym/sport
be social

Instead of actually going out with her with the pre-disposition of "Oh well, she's into me, I have to fuck her" just go out with the mentality that she's a person, she's probably interesting and you can perhaps find someone to hang out with a bit. If she doesn't interest you after the first (or perhaps second) time, as a person, then just kind of slowly cut radio contact.

a_friendly · 2015-12-11T13:12:53+00:00

bro the one night stand culture isn't all its cracked up to be.

I much prefer the solid connection I get from really being with someone. sex is infinitely better for me with emotion attached. maybe you're the same.

don't just fuck to fuck bro. fuck cuz you want to.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-11T15:25:56+00:00

/r/nofap. Lots of outsiders shit on the subreddit, and, at times, rightfully so; there's a ton of nonsense and garbage posted by a lot of nofappers. However, to me, it's about ridding yourself of your destructive masturbation habit, which is most likely why you have a zero sex drive and don't find your colleague attractive.

maturioni · 2015-12-11T12:01:31+00:00

I think I've been having similiar feelings. I'd say I have a relatively low libido for a male and I'm quite choosy when it comes to dating.

During the last two years or so, I met a good number of girls that showed interest in me and with some of them I even had dates. But with very few exceptions, I turned all of them down. I don't date or have sex with women that I'm not genuinely interested in. And perhaps it's the same with you? I know plenty of other men that behave the same way.

I think it's a popular misconception about male sexuality that men always want sex. Women usually don't have to explain themselves if they turn down a guy and men shouldn't have to either.

baconvader · 2015-12-11T17:38:45+00:00

If you're looking to increase testosterone, here's The Red Pill Guide! https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3nrxyh/the_trp_guide_for_increasing_testosterone/

supermanshazam · 2015-12-11T10:53:17+00:00

If you don't want to, don't. Google how to increase libido. Diet, gym, lifestyle all contribute

DontQuixote · 2015-12-11T15:58:21+00:00

Start r/nofap first.

white_gelt · 2015-12-11T20:01:31+00:00

Can't hurt to have your testosterone checked by a doctor. If it's low then your doc can help you out with that.

Some people are just less motivated by sex than others. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with that. Just do what makes you happy. Consider whether you are happy in other areas of your life though, because maybe you're dealing with some depression.

There's also the possibility that you are subconsciously rationalizing why aren't pursuing girls. You may have some underlying fears or anxiety that you're translating into lack of desire.

nathansweeney · 2015-12-17T20:46:14+00:00

Mate, stop jerking off and watching porn Game changer for me

2015-12-11T14:20:55+00:00

Stop looking at porn/jerking off. Porn includes looking through pictures of attractive women on any site (like TMZ, facebook) etc, even if fully clothed. It's just telling your brain that there's a perfect 10 around every corner, so why bother putting in that effort and emotional risk for a 7?

PS You may just not be into some women too that are considered conventially "not ugly" or "attractive." Happens to everyone.

Bagel90 · 2015-12-11T15:54:05+00:00

One night stands don't do it for me either. The sex gets better and better IMO until around 6-12 months in.

I have issues.

EDIT: Stop watching so much porn, go to the gym and build muscle, eat healthy, sort your sleeping patters -> aim for at least 7 hours. Try to match your sleep pattern to day light hours. Read like you get paid to read.

ScumbagPotato · 2015-12-11T17:32:38+00:00

Dude just because you don't want to fuck everything that moves doesn't make you immasculine. In fact it shows that you have self-respect at your core and that sex means something more to you than just getting your Jimmy rustled. You're doing fine, man. Just keep doing you.

Edit: Also I support everyone's suggestions to do nofap. It will change your life.

2015-12-11T20:11:43+00:00

Thats a lie. You went here in seduction for a reason, this sexual drive is here, it just hide behind anxiety.

Mehdiway · 2015-12-11T20:25:00+00:00

Feels like the same story happened to me. I forced myself to go on dates with girls just to see what relationships are like. Turns out it's not really that interesting and chose to focus on personal development and my career instead.

mcbobo · 2015-12-12T02:37:46+00:00

Go a week without jerking off, then do it again. Then take another week off sometime.

Go lift some heavy shit.

Realize you're alone.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-11T15:16:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

faxfinn · 2015-12-11T16:35:52+00:00

Stop with the porn and jerking off. In 3 days time you'll feel like a 13 year old who just learnt the pleasures of playing with his dong.

2015-12-11T16:41:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hamfraigaar · 2015-12-11T16:45:21+00:00

You know, you don't have to change your life for us. Nobody says you have to fuck anyone, or hang out with anyone, if you're satisfied. That's the whole point, satisfaction.

Sounds to me like your problem is something completely unrelated. One thing you can't do is perform while you're not in control of your own life. The most important thing starting out is getting your shit together.

joaoluizsn · 2015-12-11T17:09:13+00:00

join /nofap (after 8 weeks off, you def gonna see some changes) also, as many have said: working out and cutting sugar can help with your testosterone levels

2015-12-11T17:27:03+00:00

How much do you masturbate? That can absolutely affect your sex drive.

FUCK_YEA_GLITTER · 2015-12-11T17:41:14+00:00

I feel as if I'm feeling the same way. I had two weeks where I fucked 3 different chicks, and now I don't care anymore. Not sure if abundance mentality or something else, though I'm inclined to believe the latter.

amit240 · 2015-12-11T18:07:52+00:00

nofap

Squand · 2015-12-11T18:09:29+00:00

Op, how often do you watch porn and or masterbate? Is it really a sex drive issue? Or have people guessed correctly that you jerk off every day and that's what's satisfying you?

brasileiro555 · 2015-12-11T18:15:45+00:00

lack of testosterone or DHT or too much estradiol can be a problem but, probably is too much porn and fap ... thousads found the cure to the same problem here https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/

2015-12-12T03:30:18+00:00

It might be that you're simply not attracted to her. Don't force yourself to do anything that you don't want to, that's the main rule in life. Do what you want (only exceptions are work and school of course unless you enjoy it then even better).

Some people just prefer relationships to one night stands, again nothing wrong with that. Are you able to be attracted to other girls? Do you watch porn? If you can't get tuened on by all girls then you either have a testosterone problem (see a doctor) or you're gay.

Spacemage · 2015-12-12T10:57:33+00:00

My advice. Go do it anyways. You need the adventure. If you don't think you do, you're not thinking.

itsmevichet · 2015-12-11T15:06:39+00:00

I really need to boost my testosterone levels I think.

Why? It's not like you get a prize for having lots of sex. It sounds like you don't even want to have a lot of sex.

Unless you're lying to yourself, and by extension, lying to us.

Do you really want to have sex, but are making up circuitous excuses to explain your behavior, which is likely just motivated by fear, like 99 percent of guys who have ever had issues talking to women?

There are two possibilities here:

You're telling the truth. In which case, you don't need or want the sex, and it's all good. Not everyone needs to be Don Juan.
You're lying about why this is happening, and you're just making it difficult for us to help by not spilling the beans on what your real hangups are.

So, if you want real advice, it has to start with acknowledging that you actually want help in the first place.

Title	I lack the sex drive to pursue a girl.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	63
Comments	56
Date	December 11, 2015 10:37 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3wcywe/i_lack_the_sex_drive_to_pursue_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-lack-the-sex-drive-to-pursue-a-girl.1398939 https://theredarchive.com/post/1398939

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