Guys, BE CAREFUL.

Teqnique_757 · 2016-03-14T14:50:18+00:00

Me: "Could you cover up your name tag for me for a sec?"

What?

Her: Sir, that's inappropriate. You can't talk to me like that. I'm a professional.

Me: "Why does that matter?"

You should have disengaged instead of pry.

Op if you have to enter a defensive state when engaging another person. DISENGAGE.

idmfk · 2016-03-14T14:49:54+00:00

Sounds like you're leaving us in the dark on some details.

tramplemestilsken · 2016-03-14T14:20:49+00:00

Kind of an awkward way to approach. Asking someone to cover their nametag is automatically going to put them on the defensive, because it's a weird thing to ask someone to do.

Then again, if Ryan Gosling did it they would think it's hilarious. You only have so much influence over their reactions. You dodged a bullet. A guy talks to you and you threaten to call the cops? Really?

DirkDieGurke · 2016-03-14T14:42:04+00:00

Say "hi", ask her her name, gauge her interest level. Proceed appropriately.

2016-03-14T15:16:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lofiharvest · 2016-03-14T14:42:51+00:00

That girl wasn't interested. Theres no great take away or analysis to be had here. You should have backed off way earlier in the conversation.

Titanruss · 2016-03-14T16:11:53+00:00

you freaked her out. plain and simple. there's not enough detail here to know why exactly, but it sounds like somebody else got hit on at the gym and it ended badly... so hopefully it was nothing you did.

AliasSomerset · 2016-03-14T17:41:57+00:00

I think the biggest mistake was saying, "Why does that matter?" Like what was said about invalidating her position.

She wasn't interested and there was little if anything you could do, and the reason she felt as threatened as she did has more to do with her own experiences, unfortunately, than with what you did.

At the end of the day though, you're not going to get along with everyone. You'll be fine and don't worry about what other people say about you for approaching a cute girl at a gym.

Oh, and "Excuse me" definitely isn't "weak." It's actually good manners if you need to get someone's attention and they aren't facing you.

Fumblz · 2016-03-14T14:48:04+00:00

Honestly, If she was reseptive for the first few seconds and got cold, she might have been fuckign with you. I dont know.

When shit like this happens, i treat it like any other shit test, swat it away.

You did nothing wrong, you joked around, wanted to talk to her, if you see she was continuing on being all defensive, " alright good talk, lets do it again" and walk away.

She blew it out of proportion. Its not like you followed her and said hey you sexy bitch, iv been staring at your ass so long i need visine.

Don't let shit like this stop you from approaching.

(Also, just a thought. Might be that you approached from behind and in context said she was hot. She might have just thought you where checking out her ass and got pissed.)

JefemanG · 2016-03-14T16:21:19+00:00

Well, not all girls are receptive to this approach for one, especially at work.

Also, your approach and how you handled her was really weird. I could totally see her getting further creeped out by it. You should have let it go as soon as she tried to disengage, instead of pushing harder, that just made her feel like a target and she acted accordingly.

tedcorp · 2016-03-14T17:49:00+00:00

I don't see this as a warning of how some women might react to an approach.

I read it as more of a lesson how bullshit born games can make women uncomfortable because they don't know what to expect next. While improvisation has its time and place, I definitely think that a cold intro is not it.

I venture to advise that most women worth engaging will want to feel like they're part of the process. If they feel like they have no control upon opening, really...what are the real odds that most will feel safe in your company...alone and naked?

philosarapter · 2016-03-14T18:49:16+00:00

Well while your approach was cringy, I don't think you should fear all women doing this now. The girl told you she wasn't interested several times. If you don't ever take the hint, then yeah of course a girl is going to call the cops on you. You verbally backed her into a corner where you would not take no for an answer and kept persisting. That tends to make people feel unsafe.

Learn to take a hint and handle the rejection gracefully instead of pestering her and 'test the waters' before you go on confessing your attraction for the women in your office. They may not take too kindly to upfront advances. It seems this woman valued her professionalism at work, and you were stepping all over that. Know your audience.

Lastly, never approach or surprise a girl from behind. That's super creepy and sets off a lot of red flags

koolaid_zombie · 2016-03-14T14:19:53+00:00

Good post. Don't listen to the douchebag jabroney trying to call you weak.

You didn't get the opportunity to analyze the entire encounter after it happened and nit pick every detail. You just winged it and it didnt go so well. Shit happens. It could have not had anything to do with you.

Good job keeping a positive mindset and keeping at it. A positive outlook is the most helpful thing you can give yourself.

nerdswithgirls · 2016-03-14T14:50:19+00:00

Well, buddy, she kind of told you to fuck off earlier ;) And yeah, I also observed that some women are really uncomfortable with any kind of sexual approach, especially at their work. You have to move on then, but luckily there's so many women.

BravoPUA · 2016-03-14T14:09:49+00:00

"Excuse me" = weak

Then a awkward line about covering her name tag?

Then no smooth follow up when she called you out on hitting on her friend.

And shitting where you eat

Ya, guys BE CAREFUL

If you do all this weak shit, you might make a girl uncomfortable!

Galkovski · 2016-03-14T13:40:16+00:00

oh shit , tough one :D

HellhoundsOnMyTrail · 2016-03-14T15:26:15+00:00

I've been watching a ton of RSD videos recently and they have the rule of 4. Here you were rejected 5 times. Had you ejected that 4th time you woulda been cool. Lesson learned.

Woujo · 2016-03-14T16:07:00+00:00

OP you're posting this like you discovered some deep secret about the world. The fact is that this should be common knowledge to anybody who isn't a creep. When somebody says "no" you stop. It's pretty obvious.

erythrocyte666 · 2016-03-14T19:48:50+00:00

Okay, we can't control others' behavior, which is motivated by a whole host of variables unknown to us. There's no point even wondering why they might act as they did. Hence, what we can look at are our own faults and mistakes. So in this case what I would have done is approach from the side first. I would have tried to praise on something non-innate (my rule of thumb is intent over content ). Then if she goes into the described attitude, instead of ignoring that, I would apologize and make it clear it wasn't my intention to offend her in anyway. I'd also try to clarify that she might be thinking of the wrong person in the context of the thing about person XX. Then I'd say it was nevertheless nice to meet you and have a nice day.

Locupleto · 2016-03-14T17:58:22+00:00

Chemistry. Didn't have it. Not more complicated than that. Move along.

heretogetbetter · 2016-03-14T15:08:36+00:00

You are blowing this out of proportion. Worse that happens is that the police come over and then it is a he said she said scenario and they can't pin anything on you.

Also, never ever talk to the cops. It can only get you in trouble. If you have to say anything say "I'm not saying anything until my lawyer is present."

TheXXL · 2016-03-14T15:42:59+00:00

Next time let her call the cops. What can happen? She will not call them anyways, and when she does, you don't need to stick around, also, i don't know where this took place, but i am very sure that talking to another person is nothing you will get in jail for, so just call the bluff and amuse yourself.

Title	Guys, BE CAREFUL.
Author	Tibble_Buns
Upvotes	16
Comments	47
Date	March 14, 2016 1:32 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4ad3a6/guys_be_careful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/guys-be-careful.1403996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403996

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