I'm actively seeking rejection to get over my rejection anxiety

revente · 2016-03-31T10:49:27+00:00

Learning how to cope with rejection is good but why not play to win and approach to score with girls, not to get blown away?

--starting-over-- · 2016-03-31T11:15:35+00:00

No one likes this idea. That's 3 rejections so far. How do you feel now?

IrlImba · 2016-03-31T10:57:14+00:00

I dont mean to offend you but I find it pretty stupid to go out and seek after rejection. Incredibly counter productive, IMO.

You are literally going out of your way to do the vice versa of seduction.

It's not that hard going up to a girl, say/do dumb shit and get rejected. But what's the point then??? You learn nothing when you already know the results... What's hard is going up to a girl, try to seduce her and get rejected. That's when it affects you the most, and that's what most of us need to learn how to deal with

Indianbro · 2016-03-31T15:43:10+00:00

My last lay from a civilian was months ago.

lol, do you get laid by armed forces?

banes_wrath · 2016-03-31T15:12:53+00:00

To everyone saying OP is dumb, I don't agree with him but I think I understand his intent. He wants to immerse himself so far into rejection that he becomes desensitized to it.

OP, something that helps me is to just work through the possibility of rejection in the moment. Usually I will focus on controlled muscled tension/release, don't really know the name of it but in order to stay out of my own head I focus on flexing something like my toes and then releasing. I also try and not care about whether or not I get rejected and sometimes I can rationalize it in a way that I convince myself rejection doesn't matter. But the latter is quite difficult and doesn't always work.

BLOODY_CUNT · 2016-03-31T16:13:59+00:00

If you're actively seeking it, you're going in with the expectation of being rejected. That's a very different feeling than going in with the expectation of success and then being rejected.

I personally think you should just take rejection as "oh well, better luck next time" and next time being the next girl that catches your eye.

Also after reading some of your comments, stop using "I'm incredibly masochistic" as an excuse for failures. That's like when people (mostly kids) say "I could totally be good at this but I just never try enough". Huge cop-out mate.

BravoPUA · 2016-03-31T18:16:02+00:00

I've had lots of guys tell me about doing this....but it never made sense to me.

Go out and REALLY try.

You WILL get rejected enough, at the beginning, no need to actively seek it.

and practice makes permanent, so why even install that into muscle memory....

makes 0% sense to me

AND all the guys who went out and did this, never really got good later...

wienersoup · 2016-03-31T11:43:03+00:00

Bayarea_guy · 2016-03-31T14:07:46+00:00

Rejection is good and Always be ready with positive mindset in case you don't get rejected. What would be you next game plan?

DaygameCoach · 2016-03-31T16:05:58+00:00

There is no rejection but the rejection you reprieve or accept. If a woman says yes, that's obviously a good thing. If a woman says no, its a good thing because she isn't wasting your time. There are millions of women out there and if some of the ones that are inappropriate for you for whatever reason (not single, not emotionally available, not straight, only are attracted to 4 foot tall men with blue hair and buck teeth, etc) they are doing you a favor by getting out of your way so you can find the right woman (or women). A maybe...can definitely be a waste of your time.

I'm definitely in the play to win camp...

aldenso · 2016-03-31T17:19:46+00:00

It actually feels good after the initial rush of frustration.

How is there a rush of frustration if you're trying to get rejected?

JimsterG · 2016-03-31T17:23:11+00:00

I think it's a great idea. Have you read the book Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang? He does the exact same thing, and it definitely changed his life.

PUAgrey · 2016-03-31T18:22:07+00:00

/r/roastme

StillRedder · 2016-03-31T20:10:07+00:00

This is what /r/100sets is for! Just go into each set with the intent of either getting blown-out or pulling an f-close.

After every 5 or so sets, see where your head is at and calibrate your interactions there forward, towards better results (i.e. what worked, use it; what didn't, don't).

OnlyTheWorthy · 2016-03-31T19:20:45+00:00

OP, I admire your courage. I think a few people are taking issue with the fact that you are actively seeking actual rejection (and thereby engaging in self-sabotage, at your own expense).

There is something to be said about "conditioning" yourself to be unaffected by rejection. Annihilating your fear of rejection may make you more confident, more relaxed and therefore (most likely) more successful with dating prospects. You will also be able to experiment with what works, what doesn't, your approach, body language, and more.

kingnutter · 2016-03-31T21:18:17+00:00

This is interesting but I have learnt very recently not to anticipate ANY sort of outcome at first.

I have had AA since a separation two years ago. This Bank Holiday I just decided to go for it. I quickly realised that rejection wasn't my worry, it was all about getting started.

I approached five random girls that I found attractive. Four of these turned into conversations, one for over an hour. It was a game changer and I have to keep it up.

There's a lot to be said for "just go for it". And anything that gets you out there is a good thing.

I'm glad your approach is working for you.

letsgetrandy · 2016-03-31T18:18:22+00:00

I think this is an excellent exercise, especially because as you get more comfortable with rejection, you'll start to do it more confidently, which will in turn make it less likely for you to get rejected, hence forcing you to try ever more interesting things and truly discovering your boundaries in the process.

More people should have the balls to do this.

2016-03-31T15:35:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I'm actively seeking rejection to get over my rejection anxiety
Author	pornodio
Upvotes	53
Comments	35
Date	March 31, 2016 10:07 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4cpdy6/im_actively_seeking_rejection_to_get_over_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-actively-seeking-rejection-to-get-over-my.1404738 https://theredarchive.com/post/1404738

Comments