I went out solo yesterday. It is not the first time I do this, so I've got quite some experiences in that regard already. My friends simply did not have time due to work / motivational issues, so I thought "this won't be an obstacle for me having a great night".

As always when I go out alone I started playing some music I enjoy and drank a few beers. At around 2am I eventually started going to the city. I bought a pack of cigarettes even though I am not a regular smoker, however I noticed smoking is a nice way sparking up social interactions and I wasn't wrong this time again. (We will find out later)

I went in front of the venue and started smoking. As I was smoking, a girl came over to me asking me if I could recommend her a good hip-hop/trap club in the city as she comes from another city. I answered her question and said "Usually people start opening people by introducing themselves, so what is your name?". She introduced herself, we talked for a few minutes until she told me she had to get back to her boyfriend. Eventually, we parted ways.

By now I finished my cigarette and decided to enter the venue. At the door I greeted the security guys and went in. Inside the venue I bought a beer, placed myself in between people and scanned the venue a bit. I saw many good looking women, however I could not get over my approach anxiety. I finished my beer and decided to smoke another cigarette as I was not getting much action inside the venue so far. I went out in a T-Shirt despite the low 7°C, yet felt warm for some reason. I noticed a group of people looking at me saying "Jesus, this guy is nuts going for a smoke in a T-Shirt while its so cold". I didn't mind that comment and lit up my cigarette. After I smoked a quarter of my cigarette, a girl comes over to me all by herself and asked for a lighter. I gave her my lighter and she followed up with a question. I cannot remember the exact question, however it does not really matter. We start a conversation, after about 5 minutes she says "I am freezing here while wearing a coat. Don't you freeze? Also, my favorite song is playing right now, lets go in."
She started leading me. Normally I would think it is bad once a woman starts leading you, however, I also remembered these are genuine indicators of interest. So instead of trying to get in charge of the situation I went with the flow.

Inside, I meet her best friend, I introduce myself, but quickly forget her best friends name. (I am terrible with names) It did not matter since her friends were a bit hostile towards me anyway. The girl that approached me keeps talking to me and comes a bit closer. Eventually, we start sharing some information about ourselves. She asks me how old I am, I answer that I am in my early twenties. She answers: "Oh... you will probably say I am too old then.". I asked her how old she was and she wanted me to guess. While I knew she wasn't in her early twenties at all I still started with "18 obviously". However, she noticed from the smalltalk before that I am a very sarcastic guy. So she knew I was not saying this as a compliment rather than a flirty comment. She asked me to guess seriously. So the second time I answered "21". Of course she wants me to guess again and I say "23, final answer - cannot go higher than that."
She laughs and tells me she is 32 in fact. I noticed she was older than me but I expected her to be ~27-30 years old. I honestly have got no problems with older girls, as long as they look decently enough, age is a mere number for me. (She was a HB6 - anything above HB5 is enough to keep my attention)
I picked up one of the lines I got from Julien saying "You know men get more attractive as they age, however, for women it goes downhill". She eventually whispered in my ear that she is totally into younger guys. At this point I thought to myself that she is a pretty safe option this evening. I noticed her friends started to worry about her and kinda wanted me to leave her because I was "too young" for her. Her friends created a such a hostile environment that I couldn't even bother fixing my relationship with them. (In retrospective I probably should have befriended them way earlier and integrated them way more to my interaction)
The girl who approached me asks me whether I wanted to go out for a smoke with her. I agreed, and luckily knew none of her friends smoked. However, her friends delayed it too much, so I took the initiative and went out for a smoke alone. (Here i should have probably taken her hand and lead her outside)

A few minutes later the girl comes out and goes next to me. We start talking again and she starts trying to qualify herself how fit she is. I was not impress at all. (Probably I should have created a bit more of empathy towards her here, because I believe she thought I was disinterested at that point.) Suddenly a tall good looking guy comes up and starts talking to her. I was not pissed about it and let them have their interaction. Meanwhile I minded my own business and started talking to the security guys. We were making quite some jokes and had fun. Eventually I noticed the girl giving her number to this guy and he leaves.
She comes over to me again and we continue talking. By this point I should have started kino already, however for some reason in my mind I thought I still had time / was too afraid. She comes closer, while I was still too afraid to make a move. A few minutes later a guy comes up asking for a lighter. I give him my lighter and we start a conversation for 10 minutes talking about football and jobs. The girl noticed I wasn't paying much attention to her at that point and went inside the venue.
The guy invites me to a beer. I agreed but told him I had to go to the toilet quickly. We go inside, I head for the toilet, while he buys beer. (Thanks mate) Going downstairs I see the 32 years old girl again and we continue our conversation. I utilise some push/pull. After about 10 minutes, her best friend comes downstairs asking her what the fuck she is doing so long at the toilet. The 32 years old girl takes my hand and says "lets follow my friend upstairs". While going upstairs she says "Btw. you wanted to know why I needed so long going to the toilet. I went with him (she meant me) to the bathroom and I started having sex with him". Her best friend now looks at both of us in complete shock. The 32 years old girl turns to me and says "Haha, I bet you would be scared if that actually happened".

Since her friends hated me now more than ever I went over to the guy who bought the beer and stayed there for a few more minutes. I took a look at the time and decided I would take the next train which would come in like 40 minutes. The guy who bought the beer met an old friend and started talking to him, so I left him and positioned myself somewhere in the middle of the room. At this point I was pretty much done with the evening already. I browsed through my cellphone, texted some friends. In my mind I decided I would at least take the number of the 32 years old girl.
However a few seconds later a real stunning girl(HB7.5) comes over to me. She shouts "HIIIIII, LONG TIME NO SEE" and starts hugging me. We did not know each other in any way. She followed up saying "I am so sorry if this weirds you out, I told this guy who tried to hit on me that you were one of my friends, so I could escape him."
I asked her "Cmon, that's it - you are just using me for this?" with a smile on my face. She responds "Nooo, Hi I am Larissa nice to meet you". We engage in a conversation, turns out she is 20, an actress and loved sarcasm like me. She tried to shit test me at some point when I said something sarcastic. She said "Alright, I will search someone new then" - I told her "Sure, go for it". Keep in mind we were both saying it in a playful manner. Apparently she started approaching some other dudes, while I minded my own business again. A few seconds later she comes back to me "Okay... you are the most fun person here". I told her in a playful manner to go back to her new friends. She apologized for leaving me and we engaged in another conversation. (Here i should have started physical escalation yet again.... Really got to work on this.)
A few minutes into the conversation, the 32 years old girl suddenly came over, leaned into me and said "See, I knew you would find someone beautiful and young...". Before I could even say anything she put her coat on and went home with her friends. I am pretty sure a number close would have been possible here. Larissa looked at me totally confused and asked me who that was. I told her to nevermind, then the lights went on and we got pushed outside as the venue started closing. I looked at my cellphone for the time and saw that I only had 5 minutes to get to the train, else I would have to wait another hour. So instead of number closing at least Larissa, I went full chicken mode and went to the train station.

That was my solo night.

Things I need to work on:

  • Definitely need to grow a pair of balls. Even though I was lucky I have been approached 2 times this night I should not ever rely on this. I want to be able to approach whoever I want whenever I want. How do I achieve this? Keep going out and force myself to approach sets. Maybe even something like setting a goal for the night? Something like approach X sets this night.
  • I need to use physical escalation. It is weird.. There are times when I am able to escalate without problems and then there are times when I just cannot do it. It is crucial to advance and take everything a step further
  • I need to make the girl feel that I am interested. I should not overdo it building value / should not overdo to make her chase me
  • I need to get the number way faster
  • I need to get rid of the thought that girls do not think I am attractive. Girls seem to like me more than I imagine.

Edit: Got no idea why I did not write this FR in present tense lool