I have a limiting belief. I firmly believe that having sex with a girl without the potential for a future in terms of relationships is meaningless. How do I improve this?

elppaenip · 2017-11-12T08:49:59+00:00

You don't have to change unless you want to
There are some very high tier artists who reserve sex until marriage but still engage in pick up
The practice of game means that when you do find a woman with all the qualities you are looking for, that you have the choice of being with her

raikmond · 2017-11-12T10:58:41+00:00

Don't change something you believe in. Women and pickup is not an objective, is a part of the process which is enjoying and living your life - the one you decide and based on values and beliefs of your own.

pedrovic · 2017-11-12T16:05:17+00:00

Married man coming through:

It's so so important that you have dates and interactions with women who don't tick every box, with women you don't see a future with.

Why?

Because for the sake of that knockout relationship you will have in the future!

Say you just kind of avoid any hookups, or dates or casual girlfriends. You learn nothing. When you finally meet a woman that ticks your boxes, you are going to be at a disadvantage. You won't have the practice at dealing with any emotional curves she throws. You aren't going to have all the sexual tricks that you learned from previous partners.

You are ultimately damaging how attractive YOU are going to be when you do come across someone "suitable" she might leave you, or maybe never even give you the time of day.

If I had met my wife before the first half of my sexual history I'd have shown myself to her as an awkward, selfish lover who couldn't maturely handle relationship pressure.

I've been around the block a time or twenty and now I can keep my cool and be supportive when she's upset and give her amazing head that young me didn't even know existed.

Basically, my past experiences made me a better potential mate for when I met the woman who would be my wife.

On a side note: If you get hitched, don't stop seducing your wife. You'll both be better for it.

braintrejo · 2017-11-12T11:56:16+00:00

If you don't feel comfortable fucking a girl you're not into, then why do it? Pickup and sex don't need to go hand in hand. You can do it to find the right girl in your life.

My personal goal is meeting and fucking as many girls as I can. Not only because I'm a horny motherfucker, but also because I want to know for sure what type of girl I'm really into on both a sexual level and also personality. This way I can be sure that I've found my quality girl I can spend the rest of my life with and my desires to cheat will go away because I already have a lot of experience that I don't need anymore.

Even with pickup, where the main objective is mostly getting laid, goals can vary greatly between people.

startingstrength123 · 2017-11-12T16:27:57+00:00

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kaspell · 2017-11-12T14:16:11+00:00

So maybe... just maybe you need to seduce less and really figure out what you want out of life?

Unimaginable future is some heavy shit. maybe just breathe and in the immortal words of Bob... "baby step" away from the existential malaise?

xen911 · 2017-11-12T14:27:04+00:00

You go to a relationship to give. Just give the girl a fun experience and kill this idea that if you can't tie her down for 50 years, there's something wrong with her.

MumblyBum · 2017-11-12T08:49:21+00:00

Maybe after being intimate with someone after awhile that connection will grow stronger. Not many relationships that last start with the Hollywood slow motion and you saying "I'm gonna marry that person". You need to build it up and sex is great way of breaking down the walls, allowing you to rebuild together.

xXxBluESkiTtlExXx · 2017-11-12T12:22:23+00:00

You're absolutely right. Fucking girls you aren't going to date is meaningless. You know what though? It's fun.

thiswaytoalltheporn · 2017-11-12T13:49:32+00:00

It's meaningless in the same way that life is technically meaningless. You assign value along with the rest of society. If you choose not to value something that most people value, you're going to be ostracized to a degree. If you're clear on that and ok with it, what's the problem? Things change. Live and let die.

slantsnaper · 2017-11-12T15:06:37+00:00

Man, there's is definitely such a thing as natural attraction. If you don't feel it and you don't want to go for it then more power to you!

Sometimes guys get it into their heads that if they become successful at this whole pua thing they'll be happy so they use all those strategies and sleep with the first girl they work on. And then once they're not any happier they get depressed. It happened to me.

For me, a kiss can be a pretty good measurement of compatibility. Does it feel spectacular? Are you getting some crazy physical reactions during the kiss? Are you super excited to see the person again?

All that is to say that unless this is causing you psychological distress, there is no objective reason to change.

Jrix · 2017-11-12T14:40:27+00:00

You don't want to be convinced. You're only here to
A) fish for validation points "nothing wrong with you bro"
B) inflate your own sense of uniqueness and moral superiority

xen911 · 2017-11-12T12:47:26+00:00

Stop the future projection crap. Hang out, have fun, hook up. Just BE.

MpowerUS · 2017-11-12T16:05:14+00:00

I️ don’t get this post, it seems contradictory. If you can get girls interested in you, then you can have the “idle chit chat” and occasional bang. It’s called friends with benefits. However, without a genuine feeling of connection, it may be hard to entertain the idea of sex for some. Some people don’t feel comfortable having sex outside of a connection on the level they desire for a relationship. That’s not a limiting belief, that’s a core belief. If there’s a reason that you don’t like hook ups, say, you’ve had them but they have then left you feeling empty or like the encounter was meaningless—then I️ encourage you to explore what it was about those situations that led you to feel that way. That’s the beginning of a greater understanding of yourself.

After my last relationship ended, I️ went a lil crazy slaying every girl I️ could that I️ desired sexually for a period until I️ realized that’s not what I️ really wanted. I️ didn’t just want sex. I️ wanted someone to be close with again and it felt like my time in “hook up culture” was counterproductive to that goal because I️ would line up 2-4 meaningless hook ups a week when I️ could’ve been focusing on my personal development and overall connection with myself until I️ met another girl that I️ would want a serious relationship from. Yeah, some of the sex was great, but it didn’t feel satisfying on the level I️ desired because deep down I️ knew I️ didn’t really want anything serious from any of the girls. I️ justified it by telling myself I️ would just “enjoy the present moment” but after enough of those encounters I️ had to face the fact that the future is made up of how we spend our moments day to day and how I️ was spending my time was not conducive to attracting the level of connection I️ desired.

So I️ guess it comes down to what do you really want and why? Do you really want something serious, or do you just want FWB/hook up situations? Will you feel partially satisfied by a solid FWB that doesn’t feel like relationship material? Or perhaps more satisfied when you’re in alignment with your overall purpose when dating? Perspective is key. Enjoy your ride for what you can, however that may be.

the_new_throwaway13 · 2017-11-12T20:26:22+00:00

Are you saying that you want to fuck them but your subconscious doesn't let you or that you don't want to have sex with them at all but you want to force yourself to? Because if you don't want to have sex with them, why do it? Random hookups are for enjoyment, and if you don't enjoy them, then why would you do them?

ChristianPatriotsFan · 2017-11-12T21:06:21+00:00

Well i'm a Catholic whos waiting until marriage to have sex if that tells you anything. I'm still practicing this stuff and slowly getting better and more confident as i go. Obviously not every girl will be okay with dating me but eventually i believe this will help me find the "one". All in all, tailor and adjust these techniques to suite your needs rather than copy other peoples' experiences.

p1243 · 2017-11-12T21:23:03+00:00

You should continue with that belief brother - the right girl will appreciate that so much! I have messed around with a couple girls and you really feel like shit after a while.

r1chard3 · 2017-11-12T22:28:28+00:00

Say yes it's meaningless but it feels good?

shakespeareSMG · 2017-11-12T23:07:28+00:00

Be more social without expectation rather than think thought anything. Try to see how you feel about the women you meet.

Attraction is natural, not forced but there is really nothing wrong with your standpoint.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-13T04:56:45+00:00

__1__

You don't want casual sex. This is not a "limiting belief.

It's a personal value. You don't improve yourself by discarding your values and preferences. You screen for people who match those values and preferences.

Good news! Acting in accordance with your values and preferences, has a way of screening people out who don't share those values and preferences.

__2__

I have yet to meet someone who completely blows me away.

Have you dated at all really? Because people really don't show who they are until a few months into dating them. That person who "blows you away," might not reveal themselves until that time. And you'd never know, if you're expecting them to instantly be amazing to you.

Seems like this is also a strategy of fear. You won't date anyone unless they're some sort of awesome that might not even exist.

__3__

This has lead me to missed opportunities because if there's no future why bother right?

They're not missed opportunities if you don't want casual sex. If you sell your values out just because you get lonely, it leads to self-loathing.

___4___

I get lonely sometimes and wish there was some girl I could idly chit chat away and maybe do it with

You have to ask yourself why it is that you don't like casual sex.

Because it is possible to have casual sex that isn't meaningless AND yet isn't leading towards a future. If you're imagining casual sex to be something trashy and meaningless, with people who don't matter, then you're only imagining a fraction of what's possible.

rmbarnes · 2017-11-13T08:12:48+00:00

Well it is meaningless, but so what?

Eating a perfectly cooked steak in a restaurant is meaningless, that doesn't mean people don't want to do it.

Shakydrummer · 2017-11-13T09:22:51+00:00

Nothing wrong with that dude. I only reserve sex for someone who I find emotionally and spiritually stimulating as well as physically. Stick to your integrity and do what makes you happy.

likescheezits · 2017-11-16T15:02:39+00:00

outcome independence bruh

TheIceReaver · 2017-11-12T09:42:54+00:00

Pick up a grounding hobby like surfing or skating

CleanWholesomePhun · 2017-11-12T14:40:34+00:00

If that's how you honestly feel, that's alright. If that's your excuse for being scared then cut it out.

rlsellersinc · 2017-11-12T16:22:19+00:00

Let me see if I understand this correctly. You want to meet a girl, hang out with this girl, get to know everything you can about her, make sure she likes everything about you and you her. You want to make sure, that it is true love. You want to make sure there is a future. And you want to know anything else about her that may hinder your future. And once you know everything is good. You want to marry her , lift happy ever after, in a house on the hill. White picket fences and roses swing set in the backyard Harley-Davidson in the driveway. You want to live the American dream. And you do not want to invest your time and energy into a relationship that does not resemble anything mentioned above. I say this to you sir!

TRY IT ONE TIME ... YOU FUCKIN MORON. .. YOUR DEALING WITH A WOMAN... THEY ARE BITCHES. .. 1ST THING THAT THEY TAKE IS YOUR BALLS. . THEN YOUR HARLEY DAVIDSON, HOUSE, KIDS, MONEY.. YIP IT'S NOT OVER. ..

......THEN.... THEY GIVE YOUR HARLEY DAVIDSON TO YOUR OLD BEST FRIEND. AND MOVE HIM INTO THE SAME HOUSE YOU JUST PAID FOR.

DON'T DO IT. .. SAY NO... BRO'S BEFORE HOE'S...

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