I always get frustrated/jealous when a girl i like meets other guys. And the i stop pursuing her. What to do instead?

mstrbsr · 2018-12-04T15:18:25+00:00

Girls always have multiple guys talking to them, even in relationships. But for them to make you a number 1 priority, you have to lead and be the most exciting prospect. Easiest way? Have other options. Kills 3 birds with 1 stone.

1) Talking to other girls takes your focus away from this one girl and you don't have to develop oneitis. It avoids putting the girl on a pedestal. 2) It kills your neediness. If you know you can get another girl that is just as attractive, you're not nearly as nervous or intimidated by competition and you'll have the experience of knowing what to do. 3) girls see this as an attractive trait. If other girls want you, you're seen as a highly desirable person. You have to do correctly. Presented in the wrong way, you'll be seen as manipulative and/or lustful. Don't ever talk about sex with other girls or intimate subjects. Let her mind wander by social media story Updates or other people seeing you on campus/school with a girl

daanthebom3 · 2018-12-04T15:16:35+00:00

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Chiralmaera · 2018-12-04T13:53:56+00:00

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Bobandjim12602 · 2018-12-04T15:10:27+00:00

Stand your ground. Talk to more girls. Don't seem desperate going after her. Your best course of action is to convince her that she'd rather spend time with you than the other guy.

itsthesimplethings · 2018-12-04T16:04:01+00:00

You're gonna have a problem when you're in an actual relationship. You can't stop other dudes from talking to her. You've noticed your problem, now you gotta figure out how to overcome.

ImJustSo · 2018-12-04T17:43:07+00:00

"You can wash a vagina and it's still usable." - That's the advice my dad gave.

PossibleParty · 2018-12-04T17:39:29+00:00

Yeah definitely date more women. I go on a few dates a week (thanks to Tinder) and if I feel a strong connection with one, I may even start to get some oneitis going on, but as soon as I go on a date with another girl and it's a solid date, the oneitis dissipates.

You shouldn't worry that a girl is going on other dates unless she's your girlfriend or wife. (unless you guys are into that) She's not yours, you just have to show her that you're better than the other guys and not even think about them, because that's not your place.

thetahill · 2018-12-04T17:14:02+00:00

A lot of guys make the mistake of assuming that getting a girl is about directly winning over a woman, when in reality, most research shows that getting a woman is ultimately about competing with other men who also want that girl. It's why research shows that a man's level of dominance is a better predictor sexual partners than is being attractive.

A pretty woman will always get attention, and a single woman (even some in relationships lol) will give attention back. That doesn't mean that guy is "winning." It just means he's in the game and at that moment with her. By "bowing out" before you know much about the dynamics, you're basically handing every woman over to another guy. This isn't saying be needy. It's saying stay in the fight long enough to at least see if you can win versus bowing out before you even tried.

It's one thing to take a "fuck this shit" attitude because you have ten women you're seeing and you don't care. It's another thing when "fuck this shit" is basically a mental excuse to avoid actually stepping up taking charge and getting what you want.

Recently I saw a girl I was scheduled to go on a Bumble date with at a local bar, all over a guy. I could have bowed out assuming I had no chance. But, instead I sent her a snap of me at the same bar. When she saw it, she immediately pulled away from the guy (it was funny to see) and started getting all awkward. She was apologetic, etc, even though I told her it wasn't a big deal (it actually wasn't because I was talking to multiple women too and didn't expect anything from her).

We met a week later, made out (and more), etc, and saw each other again multiple times. She didn't see him after that. She told me 100 times she liked me better and her friends confirmed that. She may have been lying, but either way, I didn't bow out.

daanthebom3 · 2018-12-04T15:09:44+00:00

So she's talking to another guy, that doesn't automatically mean she's getting engaged him. It's common these days for single people (both guys and girls) to be talking to multiple people at once. Remember, always assume she's single until you find out otherwise. In this case it sounds like she's single and has options. Here's what I'd do:

Keep pursuing her like normally. You don't know much about this guy, for all you care she could be getting bored of him and want someone fresh (aka you). The worst thing you can do is worry about other guy(s) too much.
You should always assume that any girl you meet is talking to at least one other guy. Personally, if she is I'd rather not if she actually is for sure either. But if I do know she is, the less I know the better. If you do keep pursuing her don't worry about the other guy, just focus on the only thing that really matters: you and her.
Lastly, have options yourself. Remember, you have more options than you think. Even if you're not talking to any other girls at the time, nothing is stopping you from finding another girl to talk to.

MissBJJ · 2018-12-04T17:33:03+00:00

So here’s the thing... if you get jealous cuz a girl you like talks to other guys imagine how you would feel if she was your girlfriend. I think you need to learn to get over those feelings of jealousy or they will interfere with every aspect of your interpersonal relations. You need to trust your partners ... you can’t do that if your jealous before you can even get that far...

CatontheRoad · 2018-12-04T15:24:51+00:00

Instigate a threesome.

2018-12-04T14:46:09+00:00

I have this problem as well.. But I realized if I think I'm not going to get her because of it then might as well go out guns blazing and try. At least if I get rejected I won't be left wondering what if and I can learn from the experience and get better.

BonvivantNamedDom · 2018-12-04T16:27:12+00:00

Well, dont stop pursiing her just pursue and be her best catch. Women always have multiple men around them.

daanthebom3 · 2018-12-04T15:29:23+00:00

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BlueGrape_Htx · 2018-12-04T18:04:48+00:00

well girls date 2 to 3 guys at a time.

buckle up friend, shits gunna get crazy LMAO

2018-12-05T15:44:28+00:00

Stop caring. Who gives a fuck if she talks to other guys haha they have so little to offer compared to you

garry257 · 2018-12-04T15:06:49+00:00

Stop thinking of wanting to pursue her but rather think of dominating the other guy by winning her. This mindset will help you take your mind off the jealousy and focus on making yourself better and since you're suddenly less into her, you're also less needy which will work in your favor.

ClownPrince6 · 2018-12-04T15:56:17+00:00

Then pull the trigger and ask her out. Make her your girl by taking her out on dates and spending time with her etc. Until you do that, she has every right to flirt with whoever she likes.

FeelTheLove- · 2018-12-04T17:00:37+00:00

The best way is you can meet multiple woman and then get distracted, the are a lot of women that are trying to meeting people like you! so don´t worry! patience pays off

K3wp · 2018-12-04T17:51:37+00:00

Abundance and outcome independence. You shouldn't care.

If you do it right she won't want other guys.

Rowrowyourboats82 · 2018-12-04T18:43:17+00:00

Just cause you can or could get with her doesn’t mean you should... But next time you do chat with her or some other girl who gives you signs she’s likes you. Line up or suggest some kind of follow up or date. Get those digits.

greenlittleman · 2018-12-04T16:09:47+00:00

I have amazing idea for you. How about instead of having good conversation in the train you will have good conversation with her at your or her place and then fuck her?

There is a girl you like and then you see what other guy like her too - instead of saying to yourself "it is me who will fuck her in the end, you loser" you just give up so what he could have better chances with her? Also start to view yourself from position of passionate lover (with whom women rather have affair) and not some jealous hubby. When there is this one girl who date two different guys at the same time then there is one with whom she cheats and the one to whom she cheats, consider yourself as former. Even if she starts to date this other guy you would just give up rather than stealing her from him and proving what you are superior lover? This don't make sense. Of course the best course of actions is to have multiple girls. Moreover easiest way to never be in such situations is to never consider a girl as someone you truly like until she proved her worth by fucking you and submitting to you, but this is already advanced stuff.

Mufasamobley · 2018-12-04T15:39:41+00:00

There was a women that worked across the street from my building and also lived around the corner from my house. We would talk on the bus ride home. Sometimes we would flirt and I could tell she had sexual interest. Often I seen her doing the same with other guys. It made me jealous, so I left her alone. Not being needy is a good thing. You should want her not need her. If you improve your conversation skill and confidence you can have women in abundance.

xxsimplyjosh · 2018-12-05T09:29:18+00:00

talk to more than one girl is my solution. As weird as that sounds if you only are focused on one girl and everyone else is void what is going to happen if she leaves you? You end up crumbling and falling because you put yourself in a scarcity mindset. As long you are confident and honest and dont take her shit tests (remarks) too seriously you will be fine.

The bit where she touches you and laughs at everything you say even if it may sounds dumb is her testing your confidence in a nutshell. If you go full on reactive thats it you lose the chance :/.

Also another thing your last bit is just a sign of overthinking... that you needa cut it out and just be relaxed. I know this advice sounds stupid but honestly if you worry about every single thing it messes up your natural flow which is what she WANTS you to be in.

DajuanKev · 2018-12-05T13:27:04+00:00

I just literally had the same experience and at the same time, I felt good about it because I had the will to say fuck it.

xxsimplyjosh · 2018-12-04T20:43:44+00:00

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WLY_Reddit · 2018-12-04T15:54:15+00:00

I used to be exactly like this... until I found some girls worth going after.

Don’t change.

When the timing is right you’ll know that nothing can stop you from connecting with that girl. Even when she’s your girl, guys will still want to talk to her.

Some girls will meet you in the middle... if they like you they will initiate conversation. If they’ve noticed you’ve been quiet they’ll likely ask if you’re ok. Just think how would you respond rather than ignoring them because you don’t need to be rude.

Title	I always get frustrated/jealous when a girl i like meets other guys. And the i stop pursuing her. What to do instead?
Author	daanthebom3
Upvotes	222
Comments	71
Date	December 4, 2018 11:49 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a2zzd5/i_always_get_frustratedjealous_when_a_girl_i_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-always-get-frustratedjealous-when-a-girl-i-like.1457980 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457980

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