• Introduction

I'v recently came back to this subreddit and saw a question that inspired me to write another post in here.

The question was : I sweat alot around a beautiful woman, why ?

It made me deeply think about the situation today in 2018, after so many years, the internet is now oversaturated with informations about game, seduction, self help, motivation, how to crush it in life etc. Yet I feel like we, as guys, are on the verge of needing something different, and I dont have yet a full answear to that but I am starting to get very interesting ideas about what would that be ... No amount of theory or shift in thinking paradigm will help that guy not to sweat.

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He sweat because his "reptilian" brain tell his body to do so

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Disclaimer :

- I use the term "reptilian brain" for simplification purposes, I know that this model from Mclean is not longer 100% accurate among neuroscientists. But you can call it the "reflex neural pathways" currently present in his brain at that specific time and era.. if you prefer.

- This is a nerdy post for nerdy people wanting to know a bit more about their brain. If you dont want to waste your time, dont read

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  • Everything in life is a SKILL

Everything we "consciously" do, everything we think about on a daily basis, is a SKILL ! Everything that doesnt belong to the "Autonomic nervous system" like digesting ... breathing ... etc.

As its core : Its all electricity

Between 2 neurons cells, there is a PATHWAY and information go through that pathway by firing electricity. The more you fire a given neural pathway AKA the more you DO something or THINK about something the more you become good at it (rocket science huh ?). But why repeting something makes you good at it ?

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  1. It lower the depolarization treshold aka your brain need LESS electricity to fire a certain pathway and activate the cell on the recieving end. So next time its 0.01% easier to fire that pathway. So by default your brain is happy to take the least effort path

we are all about input -> electricity -> output

  1. Lets introduce the watchers cells and the builders cells (nicknames from me :) )

The watchers (Astrocyte) are watching wich pathways you are firing up and how frequently, this is the supervisor with a limited budget, and they choose where to invest it !

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The Builders (Oligodendrocyte) are told by the watchers : 'yo buddy this crazy motherfucker is firing this neural pathway 10 hours a day, it seems important, lets build a HIGHWAY instead**.** So they build what we call myeline (aka the gazoline) wrapped around the neural pathways to make them up to 300 times faster

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So not only it take less electricity to activate the neuron but you also go from a fucked up confusing freeway to a straight up super fast highway

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left : 0.5 to 10 m/s right : up to 150 m/s

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Guess what they found on Einstein brain during autopsy, the same thing they find on high level musicians, the same thing they find on everyone that mastered something no matter what it is, myeline and highly developped brain circuits

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  • Stop BS me with your science, I am a nice guy why do I read that ?

That's why its so difficult to get ride of bad thinking patterns and bad habits. We practice them too much. Your brain dont make a difference between you practising football and you practising "non confident behavior" or anything else you can think of.

And while nice guys can get ride of misconception about male/female interactions by watching hours and hours of videos and reading alot of articles to re-wire their brain. They only get good at that, no more, no less. You dont re-wire the motor-patterns associated with confidence : you break eye contact every second, you make unnecessary nervous mouvement, you stutter when you talk, you talk in a hurry, touching a girl becomes weird and you start even having a whole theory concept about it (escalating), you associate your logical brain with something that should be completly natural, like it should only travel through reflex pathways (like your ancestor didnt have escalating theory), wich is fine I am not putting it down, it is necessary to re-learn that from scratch when you have no idea what to do.

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They only get good at what they exactly practice, no more, no less

You dont know how to calibrate : girls gives you positive signs you are unable to recognize them, same thing with negative signs. Because all those things are printed in myelinated neural pathways for very social people, they understand in a second whats happening... But nice guys need a great deal of logical brain processing to figure out whats happening

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Nice guys dont have myelinated pathways for confidence behaviors and "men-to-women" interactions

You sweat, you become red, you behave like nice guys because of the fear of rejection in a scarcity context, and your "fear" get reinforced by those little behaviors that tells your brain "I am not confident", its a feedback loop that's putting you downward.

A way to start breaking the cycle is to correct the end of the loop aka act on the smallest things you can everyday to fix that mess, it would have a positive feedback on your confidence.

You should put more time and effort trying to DO small things everyday in order to get better, because no amount of theory will make you confident or supress your abnormal fear of rejection, that fear exist for a reason, the moment you start intimatelly interacting with girls more often, it will dissapear. You'll just have to smuggle through.

Remember, ultimatly, all the self-help can do for you, is giving you a burst of dopamine wich translate into enough motivation after days and days to finally interact with a girl or make a move just to realise that It didnt work like planned.

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Work on the smallest thing possible, as frequently as possible, and work your way up

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Is this an overkill post ? Maybe, probably. Maybe that guy afterall only sweat because he talked to her on a sunny day, but my theory is that the brain of that guy felt like an amateur football player being thrown in a World Cup game ...