How to not be a “nice guy” over text (and on dates)? Don’t want to give off that vibe and be closer to a stereotypical red flag guy!

MO_drps_knwldg · 2024-03-26T19:10:37+00:00

You don’t need to be a “red flag” guy. Just be more succinct and a less little expressive in your texts. Don’t respond to her immediately when conversation is initiated. No need to overthink the ring just don’t be needy and too eager

PartyMarty90 · 2024-03-26T21:18:04+00:00

-don't respond immediately -tease her (make it funny) -don't just agree with everything she says -be sarcastic, joke about stuff -you have to express your personality too, don't just just be boring with your messages. Talk about what you're doing or your stories, get her interested in you and your life. -don't say anything weird or desperate. Examples would be telling her you haven't been on many dates, coming on too strong too quick, stuff like that. Just play it cool.

Hunt_the_Bay · 2024-03-26T20:53:04+00:00

You can be a nice person while also showing interest FYI

norwegiandoggo · 2024-03-26T18:37:04+00:00

Just escalate. That's all there is to it. There are thousands of posts on physical escalation already. Use the search function 👍 best of luck!

ChicoBrillo · 2024-03-27T18:17:14+00:00

The type of nice guys that women don't like are dudes that are fake or transactional with their "niceness".

Example: you kiss her ass, compliment her a lot, never show any kind of crack in your facade of being Mr right. Then...you slowly become frustrated when you don't get what you want which is sex.

She has been picking up on this act all along and strategically planning how to let you down easy (never forget women have a valid fear of upsetting men). When you finally realize she's not interested you you throw a tantrum of sorts or melt into a sad puddle and beg her to tell her whhhyyy she doesnt like you.

If you're authentically kind, you don't have to worry about this stuff. Nice guys ultimately just come off insecure and fake imo

alcoyot · 2024-03-27T06:11:26+00:00

You shouldn’t be texting much anyways. If there’s pages of text message, that’s your problem. Texting is only to set up the logistics of the real life meet.

When they say you’re nice, it could mean a few things. It might not mean that you’re a “nice guy” just that they don’t see you sexually. Like that might have nothing to do with being nice or not. Sometimes women will also just say that as a compliment but don’t really mean it like that

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-03-27T06:18:23+00:00

Bruv do your work in person and you don’t have to worry about text , text should be about meeting up with her , if you have build your attraction through text don’t , it’s best to get social like IG or snap than you can reply to storie or photo and set up a date . Don’t over think texting . No woman I ever had was like “Omg that guy was such a great texter” you want to be setting a tone on texting and definitely never text her more than she texts you but don’t be stupid if she’s interested your see it in the text

anou142 · 2024-03-26T22:47:26+00:00

you don't have to compliment her to let her know you find her attractive.

TransitionNormal1387 · 2024-03-27T08:30:16+00:00

Avoid small talk. At all costs.

idk_wuz_up · 2024-03-27T14:14:45+00:00

Nice guys - in the negative context - are guys who seem to have no backbone. It’s guys who do whatever their more dominant male best friend says to do. It’s guys who say whatever they think the person wants to hear to be agreeable, in an effort to seem likable (but it’s a fake persona).

Clues a man is “nice”

does/says/believes things but doesn’t know why. When pressed you find out it’s bc it’s what his bff thinks/does/wants to do, etc
seems to lack boundaries. We all want a man who likes and loves his mother. But mom wants you to do something that doesn’t seem 100% good for you, and it benefits her……Mmmmmm
agreeable all the time, when it makes no damn sense. You dream of a life in Paris?? ME TOO! I was just dreaming about that exact thing yesterday! You love to crochet?! I’ve always wanted to crochet! Oh yeah?! Why do you like Paris! (Crickets. Dude doesn’t know shit about Paris).

Why is this bad?

These guys often turn out to be unhealthy individuals. They will become passive-aggressive bc they lack the power or strength to speak their true mind. They become pulled in every direction, because they lack the confidence to think for themselves, and because they’re afraid of abandonment or rejection want to please everyone. This makes them unstable & unreliable.

Nice guys generally do not know they’re doing it. It’s a deeply subconscious need to feel secure, and was learned in early childhood that to get along in their home they had to please their parents.

The likelihood you are a nice guy, and are self aware enough to ask this question- means you’re probably not this red flag person.

If ladies are telling you you’re nice, and it feels like it’s shut the door on romance, I’m going to guess you aren’t showing sexual interest.

So worry less about NOT being nice - and instead learn healthy ways to show sexual interest.

West_Hunter_7389 · 2024-03-27T08:27:12+00:00

I would say... Do not lose that nice guy vibe. Use it in your favour.

You are trustworthy, so you can invite her to a date (or in the date, to your home) without calling any alarms.

Just... be a bit more proactive suggesting a date

BuyerOfCoins · 2024-03-26T19:06:32+00:00

So you want to be toxic? I don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve here. These are COMPLIMENTS they are giving you. Yes if you just simp on them and don’t escalate then that’s your fault. You can be nice AND be seen as a potential partner. You’ve got to work on yourself before going on dating tour imo. There’s no reason to become a red flag douche

Mauerstrassenheld · 2024-03-27T08:54:41+00:00

RemindMe! 5 days

Feisty_Key9565 · 2024-03-26T22:06:36+00:00

As a woman honestly we want the ACTUAL nice guy.

Westernation · 2024-03-26T19:50:28+00:00

Go straight for the ‘d’ pics 😉

OrganizationOdd1576 · 2024-03-27T07:11:42+00:00

30-15-7 rule

pferden · 2024-03-27T04:58:06+00:00

Escalate physically over text

Title	How to not be a “nice guy” over text (and on dates)? Don’t want to give off that vibe and be closer to a stereotypical red flag guy!
Author	thisisanewstartbud
Upvotes	59
Comments	69
Date	March 26, 2024 6:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1boezz9/how_to_not_be_a_nice_guy_over_text_and_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-not-be-a-nice-guy-over-text-and-on-dates.1513301 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513301

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