Divorcees - When Did You Know It Was Over?

plasteroid · 2024-03-29T03:06:47+00:00

She was volatile- mean and nasty and then could be sweet (and manipulative). I was religious for most of our tumultuous marriage and kept at it because I wanted to keep/save our family. Eventually the verbal abuse and misery got to a point that I just found an apartment in the neighborhood and moved out of our home. She was shocked. It only took 16 years. Should have done it many many years before.

PillUpAss · 2024-03-29T03:26:09+00:00

10,000 cuts. I knew for years I didn’t want to be with her anymore. If you look at my old OYS’s and even my first post, you’ll see it was always on my mind.

I had some work to do in order to be worthy of what I want from women. Once I got there, I realized after 4 years of RP, there was no 1000 ft rope with this one.

Then it became a question of do I want to spend 50 more years in this situation. No thanks.

If you do blow it up, mitigate the risks on the kids first and foremost. Still be a cooperative coparent as much as possible, but MRP is right about your ex training your kids to hate you. That was the price I paid (on top of taking almost a mil off my net worth, which I had already accepted and planned for). I’m still far happier and I hope my kids see the manipulation they have been put through someday.

Therapists, lawyers and judges are all part of the same industry that preys off divorcing families. That dgaf about you or your kids, they care about your money. Don’t expect any help from them - build the right frame with your kids yourself and do your best to stay close to them no matter what garbage your ex feeds them.

I 100% would have divorced her again. In fact she barely would have been an option as a plate if I were this version of me 20 years ago.

*Usual disclaimer - my situation is different from yours. If you blow up your family, you do so at your own risk. Life is about tradeoffs.

Swagstoic · 2024-03-29T09:22:32+00:00

8 years ago, I got her a Pandora bracelet for Xmas with some personalized pendants on it.

She said she wanted a ring instead.

That's when I realized that she wasn't a happy person.

I should have gotten a lawyer then.

I'm thankful I'm out of that mess.

OregonFirst · 2024-03-29T02:39:44+00:00

Adultery, self-harm, chaos at home, and or putting in the work for a prolonged period and not feeling loved, seen, enough, or like a man

wkndatbernardus · 2024-03-29T07:43:15+00:00

When she had an affair and, after about 8 months of shenanigans, got pregnant with her side piece's baby.

2024-03-29T17:38:02+00:00

Men who are thinking of divorce need to understand that divorce is just not legal and financial things.

Divorce also results in a life after marriage. A man should have a nice ripped body and number of atleast three women who are willing to fuck him next week.

Before pulling the trigger, a man should be atleast capable of this much.

The decision to divorce should not solely rely on what wife does or did. It should come from your own frame.

So reason should not be, I am leaving because my wife cheated on me, it should be that I am a man who with options and a cheating woman is not worth my time.

Reason should not be, I am leaving because wife does not fuck me, It should be that I am a man with options and a prude woman is not worth my time.

Become a man with options and become a man who sees himself as valuable so he sees his time as valuable. Then decision to divorce will be as simple as picking what provides most value to you?

manosphereconcierge2 · 2024-03-29T03:11:03+00:00

I read No More Mr. Nice Guy!

Arghu40 · 2024-03-29T02:47:41+00:00

Around 8/9 months into my map back when I first came to the space back in 2018. It wasn't a big moment or a terrible situation that made me want to leave. After I spent a lot of time focusing my energy 100% on me, who I was, and what I wanted to do with my life, my (then) relationship wasn't one of the main priorities. I had nothing against my (now) ex, but I felt there was no value in still being in a relationship with her. Like a lot of guys that come here, we tend to overvalue something or someone else because we don't value who we are. I was also looking at a different step in my life from a personal and professional POV.

I wasn't married, we had no kids, and (thankfully) we didn't own property together at that time, but I was in a live-in relationship. I had to go about things accordingly. Some of the guys at the time told me to talk with some lawyers to make sure I covered my ass & assists at the time (great advice). Good thing I did too. Based on the area/state I lived in, I had to legally file for a 'separation agreement' with my lawyer as we were viewed as common law. I also found Black Dragon's divorce/separation guide when it came to preparing the exit of the relationship and moving out. It worked like a charm.

Point you are asking... "Looking back, would you have done anything different?".

No. Nope. Not at all. I came to this sub and worked out my issues and framework before I decided to pull the trigger and leave. If I didn't? Probably, I would have. A problem with most men that find TRP/MRP is that they think their wife is the main problem (maybe a bit...), but the problem usually starts with you 99/100 times over. No one can tell you whether or not it's time for you to pull the eject handle in your situation - only you. If you are at a point in your map that you are ready to leave, do it. You will still have a lot of mental framework to process during this time period though. You are the one that will live with the decision - no one else.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-03-29T03:05:34+00:00

Wasn’t a divorce, but I ended a 6.5 year LTR when I was 26. I had some sunk cost fallacy driving me, some not wanting to be my asshole father, and pedestalizing her all going on at the time.

Around the time we broke up, she was living in our hometown and I was an hour away where I had established my career (I was about 2 years older). She wanted me to move back to our hometown when she knew that was the last thing I wanted to do. When I considered it, I said to her “I need you to understand the sacrifice I’m making and that I expect a lot in return for this.” Her response was “you don’t deserve anything for doing the right thing”.

Once I heard that, I was done. She never saw it coming and painted me as a huge asshole for ruining her life. Only confirmed what I had done.

A year later she found out I was dating a woman a few years younger and hotter than her and tried to reinsert herself into my life. Said no thanks.

I have no regrets. I could have only found out that way. I went on to have a ton of success with women and am now married. It all worked out for the best.

deerstfu · 2024-03-31T16:28:15+00:00

I'm pretty sure you want to divorce because you feel like you missed out and want to fuck other women. Why do you have to make it about your wife? Own it.

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2024-03-29T03:16:02+00:00

Disloyalty on social media, obstinacy about avoiding accountability in regards to lying about it and hiding it. I took my time and made the most of it but that was what started me on this journey initially.

GoneAPeSh1t · 2024-03-29T23:48:56+00:00

when she quit doing the laundry

adeptintact · 2024-03-29T18:42:02+00:00

After I cheated on her a few times and realized I should move on.

Title	Divorcees - When Did You Know It Was Over?
Author	BecomingABetterMan1
Upvotes	13
Comments	38
Date	March 29, 2024 2:20 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/1bqdw2k/divorcees_when_did_you_know_it_was_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/divorcees-when-did-you-know-it-was-over.1513414 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513414

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