Should I get a divorce lawyer?

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-04-11T12:12:07+00:00

You're in for a long long fight sadly, get a lawyer asap

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-04-11T06:52:33+00:00

Mine gave me the whole "We can just file together for a few hundred bucks" baloney. I filed on her. She was not happy, but she got over it. Should be finalized soon.

Everybody, and I mean everybody, will tell you to lawyer up. There's no way to go but forward.

Also, say that you're a little stressed and so are a little forgetful, so everything in text, please, so I can remember.

And never text in emotion. Okay. Fine. I hear you. I see what you are saying. Yup.

No Sam Kinisoning, ever, even in her general direction and not in earshot.

captainchippsixx · 2024-04-10T22:39:08+00:00

Dude. She still will do it anyway. She may have already. Don’t believe her.

Get a lawyer. And document her diagnosis and meds. You need to know what happens in your state. Her game will to keep the beating you into submission. Stand your ground but tactically. You need to leverage everything you know about her and any bad things she has done. Will her parents help you or her? Have you told anyone because you don’t want her to control the narrative.

Be careful. Record everything going forward. She can play the abuse card and call the cops.

l the accounts- passwords and alerts. You should move 50% into an account she can’t touch after you see lawyer.
Know to the penny daily your assets and finances.

What is the main reason for divorce?

alifeofpeace · 2024-04-10T11:23:04+00:00

My attorney fees are 43k and rising lol

atharakhan · 2024-04-10T02:42:47+00:00

Yes. At a minimum, do a consultation. I recommend doing a paid consultation (rather than a free one) so you can get actual direction rather than a sales pitch.

Depending on where you live and when you were served, you may be about to default. So, speak to an attorney ASAP.

rhett342 · 2024-04-10T02:04:42+00:00

She is destroying your relationship and home life. This person no longer cares about you or your needs. She's not going to have your back, so you need to have your own. Hire a lawyer and do everything you can tonprot4ct yourself and your kids.

whiskey_piker · 2024-04-09T18:33:49+00:00

Just re-read what you wrote with a clear head. You are saying she is threatening to make your life miserable if you don’t agree to everything she (your bi-polar STBX) says. You are on a failure oath if you don’t visit an attorney to understand the game. Her stay-at-home-mommy routine will cost you dearly as it is.

pikohina · 2024-04-09T17:12:00+00:00

The least you need to do is pay a lawyer for a one hour consult ($150-$300) to learn your rights and likely outcome. I pay mine by the hour as I go. Not much needed so far, but if mediation breaks down, then I’ll pay $4k retainer or whatever. As others have pretty much said...get a lawyer.

AirSailer · 2024-04-09T15:24:27+00:00

First off, she's basically threatening you that if you don't do what she wants (which is you staying in the dark with no lawyer) that she'll get her own lawyer.

I've never heard of a bipolar person being agreeable during a divorce. The thing with bipolar people is that you never know where they will be from one moment to the next. If she's on meds she will likely get better, then she gets it in her head (because she's stable and feeling good) that she doesn't need the meds then her behavior goes off the rails and everything goes to shit. Bipolar is a rollercoaster, one you have zero control of. You could spend the next year working out a reasonable agreement then she flips and throws it all out. You need a lawyer to shield you from her potential instability.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-04-09T14:12:08+00:00

She told me that we can divorce without lawyers,

Mine said the same. "This will be amicable"

Amicable:

Wanted ALL (yes all) of the home equity
I adjust my 9-5 around her second shift schedule which changes weekly
50/50 custody
No support (despite her making 30-40% more not even full time)
Keeps the new car thats paid off leave me the one that is ready to die
Half my retirement but none of her pension as its locked up by the state

BASICALLY i was told to bend over and take it.

Should I get a lawyer? Pros/cons?

Yes. Pro: it will be done right and by the law (as best as it can be applied) Con: Costs BUT those will be worth it in the long run.

Settle for NOTHING LESS than 50/50 custody and DO NOT move out of your home. Kids will always remember the parent who 'left' the family.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-09T10:12:35+00:00

Divorce is not the time to DIY. Save that for the home projects.

An attorney can only represent one party. So even if she gets an attorney, you'll need your own. You also need to stop taking legal advice from her. She doesn't have your best interest at heart.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-04-09T06:22:37+00:00

At the very least hire a good divorce attorney to give you advice so you know what to expect if this case was to be decided by a judge.

Women usually get a lot of information through their network of or women which many times gives them unrealistic expectations.

Marital assets and debts are simple and usually split 50-50. Separate property is not split.

It is usually better to resolve custody first. Going 50-50 minimizes CS to the breadwinner spouse. CS usually done by a formula used by your court after inputting each of your incomes or imputed income and the custody split. There are some tricky ares here that need addressing to avoid future disputes. Remember CS is always subject to change when there is a change of circumstances or in the law. Tax deductions and credits are important.

Alimony is different in every jurisdiction, so you next to know what is likely in yours. Alimony is income tax free to the recipient and NOT deductible by the payer.

All of these issues are important and you need to be forearmed with information before trying to work out anything with your wife. She had probably been planning this divorce for months if not for a year or 2 so she is way ahead of you in thinking about these issues while you are still blindsided and in emotional turmoil.

I have seen too many men get screwed by just believing what their wife says.

If your wife is like most wives of the men you see on here you probably will need a lawyer and a good one.

Gattsama · 2024-04-09T06:17:39+00:00

Do not know your full story but you say that you have a wife with bipolar that’s trying to divorce you with three children. Yes, you need an attorney. Yes, you must learn how the system works. Yes, you are in for a fight. Going forward.

At the very least, you need to keep the lawyer on the back burner in case things go sideways, which is highly probable. If you can work things out without attorneys for a fair 50-50 split, that’s fine. However, this is rare even in the best of circumstances, and extremely rare if someone has mental illness issues. ghetto lawyer, have them on the back burner just in case. Understand your legal rights and what is a good versus bad deal for you.

Title	Should I get a divorce lawyer?
Author	pumpkin-king777
Upvotes	4
Comments	16
Date	April 9, 2024 3:05 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bzhqr5/should_i_get_a_divorce_lawyer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-get-a-divorce-lawyer.1514513 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514513

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