Women who dated out of shape men with no job/career prospects. Does the attraction actually last?

GridReXX · 2024-05-02T22:59:07+00:00

I was dating a guy who was very sweet and cute. But I noticed he simply couldn’t get his life together. Couldn’t keep a job due to kinda dumb stuff tbh. His car would get towed because he simply never paid car tickets (despite having the funds) and choosing to park illegally and then he’d owe thousands. It didn’t make feel like I could trust him to lead his own life let alone hold things down if I were pregnant. That made me lose admiration and respect for him.

And then yeah he started gaining weight on top of that. So now he can’t keep a job cuz of sloppy life management and he’s getting fat which is sloppy body management. Attraction was a dud cuz admiration was a dud.

It sucked because he really was a sweet and caring guy and we had such a great friendship. And he really was cute. But I kept thinking about a future life partnership together and I didn’t see it. To your point I just saw a lot of burden and a future of trying to make sure he wasn’t on the streets. Add that to the loss in attraction and it was like yeah it’s time to breakup.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2024-05-03T01:41:32+00:00

I let someone like that. Smart, breadwinner woman with a 6 fig job who was active.

And an over weight Guy who earned half of her salary

She was very happy. As it turns out a Guy who does his share of the housework, surprised her with food, affectionate and who loved playing video games with her is a great partner, regardless of body size.

LiYichen666 · 2024-05-02T23:20:53+00:00

I don't mind overweight guys as long as they're good people. I could not handle lazy though that's a deal breaker for me.

mrs_seng · 2024-05-02T22:48:46+00:00

Personality: charm, charisma, humor. A man they like to be around. A man who is there for them, to listen, to laugh, to spend time together.

MistyMaisel · 2024-05-03T01:28:40+00:00

In my case, no.

But, I'm also trying to avoid becoming my mother like the plague and I think I may be a little too smart for this kind of happiness.

I think ultimately that guy gets a shot because of insecurity, trauma, and a natural hopefulness and idea you can change someone. But I would advise anyone who fits the description given (including women) that you're on the clock even if they say you aren't.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-05-02T22:59:44+00:00

I’ve been with my obese fiance for 3.5 years. He has a job, but I make 4-5x what he does and always will.

He’s a wonderful man. He makes me laugh. He takes care of me (emotionally, physically, sexually). I feel excited and honored to spend my life with him

superlurkage · 2024-05-02T23:46:14+00:00

It did, but he was boring and uninterested in me as a person (as opposed to a girlfriend), so I left

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-05-03T00:48:41+00:00

I haven't dated an overweight guy but I did date a guy who was skinny fat and had no plans on ever working anything more than customer service. He was a sweet guy, and pretty good looking imo, but it didn't last more than a month. The issue wasn't the job, the issue is that the passive, go-in-whichever-direction-the-wind-blows attitude was prevalent in everything he did. He was living with his folks, he had been at the same dead end job for 5-6 years, and he was perfectly happy to spend all of his free time playing video games and drinking with his buddies. He had already living his best life, and my presence in it as someone who didn't just want to sit around and play video games and drink every night was kind of ruining it for him, if I had to go by how bummed out he was whenever he was hanging out with me doing something I wanted to do. Glad we ended it early on, it would have made both of us incredibly miserable if we had kept the whole thing going.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-05-03T00:53:39+00:00

Lmao I would never 💀

Planthoe30 · 2024-05-03T08:33:33+00:00

I have never dated a fat jobless man but the reason they do it is because of low self esteem and these relationships are providing something they lack. I had a friend who cheated on her husband who was fit, 6ft and making 6 figures with some college dropout who got fired for telling his supervisor to fuck off. He was ripped not fat but his face was ugly 4/10 compared to her husband who was like 6/10. I never understood that one she said she thought she was in love then the 4/10 guy told her she was loose and he doesn’t like sluts right after they had sex lmao. So she fucked up and got instant karma and her husband found out. From what I can tell she had low self esteem and the 4/10 knew that and preyed on that, as he explicitly told her..

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Shinmai1337 · 2024-05-03T10:18:49+00:00

We started dating in my teens, so back then I didn't really care about his job and since I was still in school, he obviously had more money than me anyways, even with a shitty apprenticeship. We both work similar office jobs now, though he makes a little more than me. We can live quite comfortably. When we started dating he was obese, but actively losing weight. He had a normal BMI for quite a long time and just recetly put on a little weight again because of the office job and is trying to lose it again. My attraction to him hasn't really changed either way but I'll always try and support him in his efforts. Been together 14 years✌🏻

Title	Women who dated out of shape men with no job/career prospects. Does the attraction actually last?
Author	FunkGetsStrongerPt1
Upvotes	4
Comments	80
Date	May 2, 2024 10:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cisqt1/women_who_dated_out_of_shape_men_with_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-dated-out-of-shape-men-with-no-jobcareer.1517222 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517222

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