Just got served

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-08-04T07:06:28+00:00

Sorry OP but this is a classic example of why more men need to file first. There are many examples why, just reach out to your divorced friends and support groups. Hopefully you can get through it without her dragging you through hell. Someone has to do it, and it sounds like she's leading the way.

captainchippsixx · 2024-07-30T16:37:33+00:00

You should never sit back and let her dictate. Reverse this and start taking the lead. Push fast and hard for divorce. But negotiate. Don’t be a nice guy and just give her shit. If she took stuff, she can have it but you want value $$ towards back in an asset you want to keep.

Read to Many stories where guys are miserable and they say they gave it all away. And they kept getting steam rollered and want sympathy?

Training_Ad1368 · 2024-07-30T14:19:05+00:00

Your divorce was long time overdue, what would you procrastinate divorcing someone who doesn't live with you since so long ago?

Just made your problem worst. Get out of there and rebuild your life.

Own-Customer5373 · 2024-07-30T13:38:01+00:00

That server was an angel of mercy from Heaven. I reinvented myself twice in the last 2 years with an ungrateful wife kicking and screaming all the way about how fucking bad I fucked it all up. Btw we have $1M net worth at mid 40s. No debt besides house. So the month I made $17,000. She said she was impressed at how I reinvented myself. Boy did that change. One job later and she’s very clear that she’s unhappy with her downgrade. And it’s soooo complicated that it pays cash every week. I mean wtf. Cash every week? It’s just a cute little hobby and I’m just a fucking pet dick that can make money except she doesn’t turn me on any more with the attitude and all it’s the opposite of sexy. It’s basically like hey I really don’t trust you after 19 years of marriage but I want you to give a fuck about me.

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-07-30T12:54:58+00:00

you didnt mention how long you where together but time to unwind your feelings for someone that just crapped on you. lucky for you there are no kids involved. hopefully its an easy split with no spousal support in either direction.

so there where no warning signs coming up to that date? brutal. mine was kinda like that too but she didn’t empty the house.

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2024-07-30T03:56:57+00:00

Best thing you can do is accept it is over and to now treat the divorce as a business transaction. Most attorneys are scum so don’t trust them and take your time to find a good one. Don’t voluntarily give her any information as there is no rush and no need. They will file standard motions. This will drag on so don’t panic and research the laws in your state. Your instinct will be to respond and to argue any false claim. But just stay as tight lipped as possible. No reactions. My ex served me and they requested all standard stuff but they did not provide equivalent and judge did not care all that much and gave them 6 months to produce without penalty. The other thing they may not tell you is all courts and attorneys want to avoid trial at all costs. It is a poker game. Also, tell your lawyer to get a court date set for a trial date immediately. This will help move negotiations forward. Otherwise this could drag on. It is heart wrenching to realize it is over. But it is what it is now. Find activities to distract from all the crap you are going through. Educate yourself on the laws as attorneys really don’t want you to be knowledgeable as it helps them bill you. But most of all if you do not understand statutes you will be misinformed that you will get screwed over. But if you avoid mistakes they will not be able to screw you over …as much. Don’t communicate with her. Don’t respond. No need to. Just let the lawyer handle. Hopefully you get a decent one but most are not good. Learn how to manage your lawyer to limit fees. Go to the courthouse and review cases (facts and circumstances), agreements, and judgements of opposing council and who you pick. It is a negotiation!!

NothingIsEverEnough · 2024-07-30T03:45:05+00:00

Make it quick. Don’t fight it. The sooner that it is done, the sooner you can move on

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-07-30T02:23:06+00:00

Brother, don't worry. Deep breath. Tomorrow hire an attorney. Get your affairs in order. Organize finances, you're going to need documents of everything. Which state are you in? Do you have kids? Your attorney will want to know if there is DV involved. Don't lie. Get yourself into therapy if you can, or find a support group. This sub is filled with lots of great people who can help you. Were all in this shit together.

Title	Just got served
Author	Movieman_Steve
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	July 30, 2024 2:08 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1efhrmi/just_got_served/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-got-served.1525736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525736

Comments