How to get rid of my fear of initiating conversation with woman?

Hungry_Order3086 · 2024-08-08T16:14:21+00:00

I know it seems stupid but just do it. the steps could be: 1. You see a chick you would be interested in (If first time lower your standard to manage anxiety and train) 2. You see she is approachable, meaning she isn’t in the middle of a call, taking to the cashier etc 3. Imagine her being stupid or shitting in order to remove her from a pedestal and see her as a human like you would do with a random dude 4. Count to 3, If you don’t talk to her when the count ends you are a fucking loser and you don’t deserve any success (harsh words that i think can help push you) 5. Find something about her/the activity y’all are doing that could be a topic of a compliment/small talk/tease Ex. She has a nice dress or smile,tell her (don’t straight compliment her beauty she doesnt care) she has good vibes, seems happy or similar. What about the action? she is waiting in line before you, try to crack a joke like ‘last time i waited this long my dad returned with the milk’; she is picking an apple? ‘Ooh you must hate docs’ or ‘damn i wanted that’. Play with her. The following will come naturally

Sea-Respect-4678 · 2024-08-08T17:33:11+00:00

Practice on cashiers/servers etc. You don't have to be over the top, but practice paying attention to little things that women put thought into. A cute set of earrings. a shirt that matches their eyes. Comment on it, let them respond and then thank you have a nice day! Notice their names on name tags and use it "Hope you have a lovely evening Samantha!" It not only makes them feel seen, it gives you a low risk way to practice breaking the ice.

endoar · 2024-08-08T17:31:37+00:00

For me best book on this topic is "She's six steps away" by Eric Disco.

He approaches this problem from the moment you step outside your home.

Good luck

DaygameCode · 2024-08-08T16:14:17+00:00

Jut say: “_Hi, one thing real quick, cuz. i just saw you and i literally love how great your style makes you looks and i thought wow, i really want to meet this girl, if that’s cool with you, my name is x_”

That’s how you can start a conversation politely. Then you can talk about the current thing you both were doing, what you both do for fun, what you study or work and why, your experiences meeting people if this is her first time someone approaches her like this and how does it feel? etc

DisruptorMor · 2024-08-08T17:46:46+00:00

Start talking to unattractive women.

This way you won't feel the pressure of rejection, while building the neurological path to initiate talking with women.

Try being spontaneous and soft with the lady cashier, or the waitress, just aiming to get a genuine smile or laugh, and have a great small moment.

From there you could try to escalate and approach prettier waitress or cashiers, trying to achieve the same thing.

Once you feel good doing spontaneous small talks with every kind of woman, jump into the more seductive intentions and experiment new horizons.

WiseMan_Rook22 · 2024-08-08T21:46:38+00:00

Their just woman they eat, sleep, shit and have a period every month. Take them off a pedestal

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-08-08T17:38:51+00:00

At work places people need to do a job shadowing when you’re a new hire. Usually if it’s something to do with customer service or people-oriented skills.

Kinda useless to tell you the steps by steps when it comes to actually do it if no one is there to watch how you do it or whether you do it correctly. This is why I don’t trust online coaching when it comes to pickup or even sports or fitness-related stuff.

Where do you live? If you reside in DC area or even 50 miles radius I don’t mind assisting you for free. We could have lunch together and do it afterwards.

Thi3fs · 2024-08-08T18:05:16+00:00

I have big time approach anxiety. And my job is also very high stress. The common thing I have found to succeed (I wouldn’t say I’m Mr. Suave in the approach department) is just ignore that pounding in your chest + fluttering in your stomach and go up to them and say hey how’s it going? Start small start simple.

LIGHT-47 · 2024-08-09T01:12:50+00:00

just practice. the more you do it the better you’ll get. i started complimenting any woman i came across just for the practice even if i didnt truly believe it. in stores, drive thru windows etc, small compliments like oh you have a nice smile, thats a beautiful name, simple shit like that. if they give you good energy and signals that they’re interested in return, you can take it further and maybe get a number or atleast their instagram. ive gotten so many in the past few weeks that i wont even hit up because im just practicing until i meet the one i really want. you just gotta keep building that confidence

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-08-09T08:48:09+00:00

Self hypnosis. Google it and implement. It will fix this quickly.

appolonysian · 2024-08-08T18:10:08+00:00

You can only break this barrier by doing just that: go up and say hi and try and start conversation. Don’t use canned lines and dumb scripts; be honest about your interest but not so upfront about it that you come off as a creep.

Just realize that rejection hurts less than regret and get out there. Your first hundred tries might suck, but who cares - you climb the mountain by taking steps.

Another thing that can help is to also practice chatting up people without the intent of asking them out.

Break things down into steps to success to match your competency (if you’re just starting out, define success as initiating and holding a conversation; as you get better at that, throw in flirting; once you’re good there, start consistently going for closes).

Tatleman68 · 2024-08-08T18:31:36+00:00

Reverse the situation, how would you want to be approached and it wouldn't become weird.

Act normal, make them feel safe or at least not threatened and ask a genuine question.

epimpstyle · 2024-08-08T19:32:36+00:00

This is why scripts/routines/canned lines exist.

slowupwardclimb · 2024-08-08T20:24:44+00:00

What are you afraid of, specifically? Identify that first.

McPigg · 2024-08-08T21:53:54+00:00

Start by asking polite directions and leaving "exvude me, where is the toilet/a power plug/xy here?"

Then when that gets boring, ask directions and add "...i hope i wasnt botherining you with your <observation>"

then - ask directions, make observation and add a quick curious question "...is that a xy?/are you xy?"

Then build on that with storytelling and more curiosity and branching off from the initial topic

This will get you into some convos with friendly people and you can do that to anyone if pretty women are too hard at first.

piercingemoblades · 2024-08-08T22:57:38+00:00

Just say something stupid like: "Hey, I think you look really hot today. You wanna go eat some ice cream together? Not because you're hot, I just really like ice cream." If she doesn't find you funny, just insult her and mock her appearance or some shit like that. Then you're alpha 💪

toliveistocherish · 2024-08-08T23:11:01+00:00

Step 1 setup your favorite music and listen to it while outside or you can channel your favorite movie character e.g. Tyler Durden from Fight Club

Step 2 talk to anyone baby steps wont hurt e.g. greet someone good morning, how was your day kind of thing.

Step 3 challenge yourself by talking to girls like Step 2 add little progression everyday. ask them about their opinions on something etc.

Step 4 the idea is to put yourself into a talkative state and then rinse repeat.

kieranmonn · 2024-08-08T23:24:57+00:00

Just have a canned opener and spam approach until you get numb to it. Then go from there

KrOssR5403 · 2024-08-09T07:09:11+00:00

-Don’t be awkward and just say Hi

-look what she is interested in

-Don’t fkin say anything stupid

You might fail at first but remember you have to keep trying and don’t try this on the girl you like at first it will crush your heart Try it on her friends or any other girl in your area or classroom witch are not interesting to you Then you will learn from your mistakes and then try it on the girl you really interested in

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-08-09T10:26:32+00:00

The way you get out of your head is to start observing the world around you and realize that you are but relatively insignificant in the big picture of life. Once you do that nothing matters.

Spiritual_Word_7288 · 2024-08-09T11:43:48+00:00

Very easy. Fear of approaching and fear or rejection translates to LOW SELF WORTH.
Men who fear approaching women often value themselves at a lower aspect than other men.
A man who is confident in his social skills, think he can flirt well, thinks he looks good, fit, and have a winning mindset that every woman would be lucky to have him- DOES NOT fear approaching.
You need to value yourself more, you need to focus on your strenghts as a man, and be on a constant journy of improving in these areas. and then just do it once.
And then just do it again, and again, and again, it will get easier with time, all you gotta do is start.

So we are a group of players and dating coaches determined to help people just like you in improving their game, gaining confidence around women, becoming more assertive, and achieving success with women.

We created the perfect playbook which has already helped around 10k men worldwide. however we really hate selling through this platform so what i would advise you to do is follow our new instagram for daily content that will give you insights about what you are looking for. (all the links in our profile).

duckduck_54 · 2024-08-09T15:26:22+00:00

Hi friend. Just going to ID myself as a woman so you know the perspective this is coming from.

Two things to practice: 1) reading signals of openness from others, and 2) genuine, sincere curiosity. Many, many women have an experience-honed radar for when a guy is creeping, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to women. It means you approach them/us like people.

A sincere, friendly smile before even approaching is a good test to see if someone is in the headspace to interact with you. A genuine smile back that has some eye contact is good. A nervous smile that turns attention somewhere else quickly says leave it alone. Ignoring says leave it alone. Headphones on/in? Leave it alone. Just try smiling first and get used to reading responses.

When you’re feeling confident that you can tell when someone is feeling open vs closed, then you can go for easy small talk. Let yourself be led by curiosity instead of trying to perform conversation. Simple things. At a bus stop? “Hey, do you know when the 57B is supposed to get here? I feel like my phone is always wrong about the schedule.” At a grocery store fruit aisle? “Excuse me, but do you know how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe? My friend asked me to pick one up and I want get a good one.” Short answers (basically yes/no) with no follow up get a thanks, and move on. Answers that elaborate and leave some space open for more talking get some more conversation. And if you’re in the latter category, find something about her in the immediately observable environment that you’re genuinely curious about, and ask a question. You can’t fake genuine interest, so practice being curious at other times with people you already know. Curiosity is openness to others, and it draws people in if they’re also feeling open.

Just remember, if somebody’s not feeling open, that’s not a knock on you. We don’t know what’s going on in a random stranger’s day. You don’t need to experience someone’s lack of openness as rejection - it likely has nothing to do with you (provided you’re acting like a normal, non-predatory person).

Approach people with the goal of having a positive interaction and maybe learning something new. Wherever it goes from there can be an interesting journey.

Title	How to get rid of my fear of initiating conversation with woman?
Author	mythorwaway52
Upvotes	46
Comments	30
Date	August 8, 2024 3:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1en9m48/how_to_get_rid_of_my_fear_of_initiating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-rid-of-my-fear-of-initiating.1526709 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526709

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