I hate her. She reminds me of my failures

Low_Distribution5188 · 2024-08-30T16:09:43+00:00

Money from the house

GreenCod8806 · 2024-08-30T15:42:25+00:00

Everyone is in it for themselves my friend. Trust no one. That’s your new mantra. Get smart.

She was just an expensive life lesson. Never look back. Close the door behind you and keep each foot moving forward and start treating yourself like you are your wife. The best revenge is success, serve it cold with a smile.

Become the man she wishes she didnt let go. $$$

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2024-08-25T22:41:05+00:00

Hate is a powerful word. And I am right there with you. Maybe be has been fighting for money since day 1. Kept changing her demands. Last is $600k in cash and assets. I refused to sign. They refuted my offer to put everything in a trust under daughter’s name. And will get half of my gross(a good amount)!! Nope,now they froze all my accounts. Yup, I am resorting to food banks to survive. Broke AF with the lawyers fees on my credit cards. Now using daughter as pawn. Sad, we men paid the price to be married and now have to pay to be part time fathers.

probebeta · 2024-08-24T03:48:04+00:00

Quoting rich cooper, "women don't care about your struggles, they wait at the finish line and pick the winners". Sickness and health line sounds nice but that's just fantasy. And to be fair, it works both ways... If I'm fit, loaded, and cute young babes are looking at me, and I have a nagging overweight wife that does not respect me guess what...

About the money grab though... I totally get it. It cost me crap load of money, but it's a write off so I can be free. At least I got a good lesson out of that though (I hope)

elGranPandebono · 2024-08-23T23:55:06+00:00

We have all been there, brother. You feel hate because you still love her, and the sting of her betrayal is still fresh. Crazy as that might sound right now, it's the truth.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. When you don't think about her anymore. When you see her and feel nothing. That is the true measure of indifference and personal healing.

This too shall pass. So until that moment of blissful indifference, keep your head high. And remember - she was never yours. It was just your turn.

ComprehensiveYam3742 · 2024-08-23T20:28:24+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Unsure if your wife is just greedy or vindictive or both. If vindictive, then looks like she harbors resentment for how the marriage went and her perception of how you’ve hurt her. It’s then easy for her to justify taking you to the cleaners. Interestingly good people can also do this, not just what we perceive as relegated to evil people. If hurt enough, there will be a need to hurt the other person to give them a taste of their own medicine. It is impossible for you to do everything right by her because no human could. There will always be something that you do that makes her feel slighted and you are not perfect, nobody is. I was filled with rage and hate toward my spouse for the issues in our marriage. I found this resource to be very helpful in changing my perspective and loving my spouse.

As you are in a nasty divorce battle from the sounds of it, perhaps the information provided here can help things to take a more positive turn and if not at least give you a healthier mindset. Going through divorce with hate and anger makes it that much worse. Some people may look to goad you to act out but learning the skills to manage yourself and remain calm, compassionate and level-headed will produce way better outcomes. Best of luck to you!

https://coachjackito.com/blog/reason-spouse-wants-a-divorce/

Low_Distribution5188 · 2024-08-23T02:55:40+00:00

Sorry bro..hate won't make you feel better.. obviously you have loved her at some point..there was red flags most likely before and during the marriage they say when a divorce happens you will see your wife at the most savage period..my wife of 5 years and 7 months displaying pure hatred for me..I also saw the red flags..the drinking getting drunk a lot..loving male attention and validation..many male friends...then the sexless marriage..the violence on her part verbally and physical..last March we decided it was over..she wants me out the house like ASAP if I leave in will be homeless no money no job...she don't care I'm barely eating..or surviving..she doesn't think she's married!!! Period!!.. because if you look at the marriage vows..for better or worse for richer or for poor in sickness and health till death do you part..when one spouse struggles the other spouse helps and supports vice versa..it's so hard..you can't do anything without money..sure she's paying all the bills..she gotta great job..and I'm getting penalized for not working and living in her house..I told her I'm contesting the divorce she called me a bitch MFer....so I understand bro..can't wait for this to be over..

jd385272 · 2024-08-23T02:51:50+00:00

I remember when I first met my stbx wife, she opened up to me about all the trauma that has happened in her life : Dad left when she was a child, mom would leave them for extended periods of time with family friends or neighbors and go on sex escapades, she was placed on foster care, when she was a teen she got drunk at a party and was raped by her brother's friend, later on got in a fight with her mom, decided to live in her car, ended up getting raped repeatedly by the same guy (resulting in PTSD), then on top of all that she has a chronic illness with a mortality rate of 20%.

A little backstory: She wanted "space", took the kids (2 toddlers) and stayed at her parents, in the meantime started talking to guys (including 2 ex's + dating apps), started the divorce process, backpedaled, came back to my house to "work thing out", asked her if she's still talking to anybody, I found out that she lied, told her to kick rocks. I ended up getting her served with 50/50 CS :)

She told the 1st ex, that she's checked from our marriage for the last year, and is only staying with because I provide stability and security for her and the kids, until she saves enough money to get a divorce lawyer, a car and an apartment.

So basically I've been reduced to a refuge lol

The first guy she started talking to after she left my house (who she knew from HS), she started dating him 1 week after I made it clear that I didn't want to reconcile. She told me later she dated him in HS and is dating him now". He's living with 4 roommates lol

She took our kids to her house, and whenever I have the kids overnight, she'd spent the night at his place.

I know exactly what she's doing, she 's trying to make me jealous so that I want her back. Joke's on her. She even wanted to show me a photo of him putting our youngest to sleep, I told her no I'm not interested. The nerve!

And she insists on us becoming friends lmao

The other day, her mom told me that an ambulance had to take her to the hospital, ngl that put a smile on my face :)

Anyway, I hate her fucking guts, I can't wait for her to die.

stupididiot78 · 2024-08-23T00:33:47+00:00

I get that. I still get really angry about everything that happened. I don't hate her though. I feel sorry for her. While I definitely had way more than my own fair share faults and shortcomings, I always tried to do right by her and for her. We all fall short of perfection but not many people can say that they had someone who always did all that they could for someone. She had that and she lost it. How's she ever going to get over that?

Equal-Morning9480 · 2024-08-22T21:05:47+00:00

I feel this… Mine only gives a shit about how much money she thinks she can get out of me, I’m just a commodity, like steel or soy beans. I was so stupid, I ignored so many red flags. I hate her guts

ImportantRecipe3087 · 2024-08-22T19:41:27+00:00

‘Should be’. You bought into the myth like many of us and now you pay the price. Try not to let the hate turn you into someone you don’t really want to be. Life can still be good and even better now you understand what can happen if you let it. Failures are really the only thing that help us grow in my opinion so have no regrets.

Title	I hate her. She reminds me of my failures
Author	Enough_Youth_4564
Upvotes	31
Comments	17
Date	August 22, 2024 7:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1eys7hz/i_hate_her_she_reminds_me_of_my_failures/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-hate-her-she-reminds-me-of-my-failures.1528050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528050

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