Loneliness

jaceq777 · 2024-09-02T07:29:19+00:00

I didn't live by myself ever before. I moved on with my wife after the wedding, before that I lived with my mother - for financial reasons, not religious ones or something. Now I'm getting used to living on my own, but luckily not completely - I have a lovely dog and life would be absolutely miserable without him.

ImportantRecipe3087 · 2024-09-02T05:55:45+00:00

Get a dog!

GreenWing6680 · 2024-09-02T03:10:14+00:00

Time heals. Life goes on. I’m not quitting and stranger either are you. There is a sunrise tomorrow and I guarantee it will be beautiful. You’ll be ok.

mr21vp · 2024-09-02T02:31:10+00:00

Not saying to be a recluse or a hermit, but this is a good opportunity to learn how to be alone. It's actually a super power once you can enjoy your own company. This allows you to set higher standards about who you let into your life. Most lonely guys make horrible choices, out of desperation, when it comes to dating and marriage.

But of course also follow the excellent advice already given below. Best of luck!

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-09-02T02:19:43+00:00

I have full custody of our child so I don't get the chance to be lonely. I did do about 6 months alone though and that was harder. I'm not sure but I think having been an only child who grew up in a rural setting conditioned me to being okay with being alone. My summer vacations were fairly solitary

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-09-02T01:52:44+00:00

Just don’t lose your job like I did

Holy shit. 90% of 6-8 months all alone

stupididiot78 · 2024-09-02T01:16:26+00:00

There's a local divorce recovery support group here in town that I go to. I've met some great folks there who understand what I'm going through.

dfb54749014 · 2024-09-02T01:05:34+00:00

Friends, family, and therapy my friend. Ever since the bomb dropped I started talking to my parents, my sister, and a couple long-time close friends almost weekly. It helps a lot if you have a support system willing to help. Even if it's just letting you vent about the week.

I also got a therapist after my lawyer suggested it. I always thought... what a therapist? I'm not nuts! I don't need help! Yeah... ok...Totally different perspective on that nowadays. Those sessions have helped tremendously. It started as weekly sessions then every 2 weeks and now it's every 3 weeks almost a year later.

xeskind30 · 2024-09-01T23:23:26+00:00

Hey, brother. So a lot of what has already been said here is what I would say: exercise, hobbies, join groups that get you outside of your comfort zone. I can say for a fact that exercise is a fantastic way to combat loneliness.

Another thing, and it might seem out of place, but try journaling. It puts onto paper what you have in your head, and that is a great therapy tactic to get these thoughts out of your head and make them known. Then you go back and read about when you felt that way and see what you did to get out of it.

Therapy is also an avenue I tried, and it helped me greatly. It's only temporary, so do not use it long term. Basicall, you want to make sure your head is on straight and you can work on yourself to get better.

Good luck, brother!

funky-dancing-midget · 2024-09-01T22:27:35+00:00

When i first split up with my wife i started bartending simply to hang out and talk to others.

It wasn't about money for me, but about meeting others.

It was fun and I would go this route again.

Money wasn't horrible and it was fun.

I initially did it one weekend day every other weekend I didn't have my son.

ImABotAndSoAreYou · 2024-09-01T21:52:42+00:00

Besides the other great tips already here regarding hobbies, meditation has been a great help for me. Turn into the loneliness, and practice self-reflection. Accept your own feelings and be compassionate with yourself. This will help you heal and grieve. And then you will come to find loneliness isn’t something to fear or avoid, it’s just a feeling that comes and goes, like everything else. You might also find that other people all around you are lonely too, and strengthen empathy and kindness. This empathy will give you the energy and motivation to reach out and make new connections.

abort_retry_flail · 2024-09-01T21:22:27+00:00

Make friends. Stay busy. Get out of your old comfort zone (no rules any more, man), and exercise.

Hobbies. I have a cornhole league in the spring/summer. In the fall/winter I have friends over every other Sunday for football, wings and beers. I read, I love cinema, I garden, I keep bees, I cook, I hike/camp, I compete in chili cook-offs, make ice cream, and all sorts of odd things.

Daily exercise consists of running my German Shepherd 8-9 miles a day and lifting. For me, it's been huge that when I start getting in my own head too much and just need to space out I go run. It's hard to get consumed by negative thoughts when you're focused on form, breathing and pace. The endorphins after the run are a spectacular anti-depressant.

I'm on year 25 of a great IT architecture career that I truly enjoy the challenge of.

Its a quiet, consistent and joyful life. You just have to find friends, hobbies and get exercise.

JustSomeDude7287 · 2024-09-01T21:09:30+00:00

Find hobbies. Have a friend(s) to call. Join activities running, boxing, CrossFit, etc.

Just know that the loneliness will pass in an hour, a day, a week, don’t do anything rash during those moments.

Title	Loneliness
Author	JuiceGreat0525
Upvotes	16
Comments	17
Date	September 1, 2024 8:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f6ojf8/loneliness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/loneliness.1529102 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529102

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