How to respond to silent treatment

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-11-14T21:48:49+00:00

Anytime anyone does something passive aggressive, you ignore it. Eventually they'll either make a reconciliory action, suddenly start acting normal like nothing happened, or blow up - but they won't continue the behavior that isn't accomplishing anything. People who are passive aggressive are so because their family of origin had a pattern of rewarding passive aggression with attentiveness.

Is this a boyfriend, fiance, life partner, husband? What prompts the silence?

Consistent-Citron513 · 2024-11-14T23:13:27+00:00

I used to ignore it. I grew up receiving the silent treatment (which is an abusive & manipulative tactic, btw), so I was not phased when my partner did it. I continued about my day as normal, completely unphased. This would make them angrier. They stopped using the silent treatment and moved on to worse things.

Dionne005 · 2024-11-15T06:39:50+00:00

I don’t understand how people let politricks run their relationships. These guys are literally creating debates going back and forth trying to get a raise while you get nothing but a break up. And at the end of it all they Biden and Trump smile and shake hands and have peaceful gatherings while you have what? Left wing right wing but on the same bird. Make sure you’re in agreement about things that really make a difference in your life not what Supreme Court “could” do and internet jaurgon

ArdentBandicoot · 2024-11-15T00:20:03+00:00

OP, please give us some context. From Rule 6:

- What is the problem, and what do you think is the root of the issue? - How have you contributed/attempted to mitigate the problem? - What is your current relationship status and length of time?

And what were you two arguing about before the silent treatment, would be my additional question.

Equivalent-Ad5449 · 2024-11-14T23:56:25+00:00

Ignore it and live life unbothered. People do this as manipulation and want you to be upset and beg for their attention or response.

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-11-14T22:47:31+00:00

Does he also agree it's silent treatment? Sometimes it can appear that way to one partner while the other might feel like they need time to gather their thoughts/sort through their emotions before having a conversation.

Edit: It seems like a bad fight and there were misplays on both sides. It happens. It's going to continue to happen. You have to decide if your partner's flaws emerge at a frequency/severity that you can live with. You can work on your own flaws and see if that has an effect on the persistency of his. That's life. When you want things to get better, you apologize for your share. Let him make a genuine apology for his share on his own violation. If he rarely admits fault either using his words or his actions, that's something I personally couldn't get past.

CountTheBees · 2024-11-15T00:53:33+00:00

Can you reach out and say: "can we stop fighting? I don't want to fight". And don't bring up the politics issue or how he broke the agreement again. Hopefully he won't either.

AutoModerator · 2024-11-14T21:36:21+00:00

Title: How to respond to silent treatment

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ArdentBandicoot · 2024-11-20T02:54:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

flower_power_g1rl · 2024-11-15T05:07:05+00:00

By getting him to agree to not talk about a certain topic, you are the one enforcing silent treatment. You are literally telling him "Stay silent about such and such topic."

When you told him "I don't wanna talk about it", that is literally silent treatment. You are telling HIM to be silent.

For some reason, men need to talk about politics. They just air out frustrations this way. Brace yourself, just nod and listen. Once he's done, THEN think about what to say. This takes mental work but it's healthier to have your partner communicate what's on their mind and to be heard rather than to have topics that you two simply don't talk about. As you can see, this agreement is a real issue for him.

throwawaytalks25 · 2024-11-14T22:38:30+00:00

This is an area I'm struggling with, but I'm making improvements. However it does depend on the reason.

My husband does it (and is also working to improve) because of overwhelm, anger, and a very avoidant personality. He struggles with conflict and overwhelming emotions and shuts down, especially when he might say something hurtful.

Unfortunately I despise being ignored, which has led to us both demonstrating very toxic behaviors/cycles.

What I have been working on is realizing that even though he is angry in the moment, he is also hurt, and can't process his emotions on the spot like I can. He needs time (though he needs to go about it differently), and instigating/provoking only does more damage. I may get him to sometimes engage, but it will NEVER be productive. Conflict resolution is going to involve me understanding what is behind it and being willing to walk away and let it go for a little while until he is able to really talk about it.

The key thing I have to really work hard to do is not being passive aggressive or bitter during those times. For me, I know if I were still giving him space, but also being kind, it would make a world of difference.

That is not to say that we do not put it aside for discussing things with our kids though.

Do you know why he does it? How do you respond?

Next-Movie-3319 · 2024-11-14T21:54:37+00:00

What prompted him to give you the silent treatment? Is it something serious or petty?

As a husband who has used the silent treatment in the past, here is what I have expected.

I am hoping for my wife to come to me and show that she cares and that she misses me. I am hurt or upset at a certain behavior but dont want to fight about it. Depending on the situation I may be looking for an apology, but really I just want her to fuss over me and acknowledge that I am upset and that it matters and that she cares. It's a kind of petulant childlike behavior. lol

But then I would not use the silent treatment for something that was a huge problem. It is usually for something that isn't worth a fight, but I'm having trouble letting go of as well.

Assuming your partner is like me, if you just go up to him and tell him you love him, miss him and want to have the old fun him back, he'll probably melt in your hands like butter.

Good luck.

Title	How to respond to silent treatment
Author	a_girl_with_a_dream
Upvotes	6
Comments	49
Date	November 14, 2024 9:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1grfyqd/how_to_respond_to_silent_treatment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-respond-to-silent-treatment.1535796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535796

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